You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

this one is really stupid! -->


A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.

Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.

Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity..



You might like this game, but maybe it's not your
thing. Take a look anyway if you are
curious:

www.life-blood.vze.com


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

well i appearantly was not a good enough girlfriend for her son!

I AM 20% EVIL GENIUS! I thwart evil. I am definitely the “Good guy” type. Evil runs from my aurora of all things good and right. Look out James Bond. Take the EVIL GENIUS test at Fuali.com

Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Beauty, you are beautiful not only outside, but
inside as well. You have a kind heart and are
compassionate. You feel the pain of others and
you are a better person for it. You shine with
purity and wisdom and will expirience the love
you show.


What's your dominant personality trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

blah blah blah. this week was ok. not much to talk about but the beach. we are stupid. megan, bryan, and i sat three to a seat even though there were ten empty seats around us. it was pretty fun though. megan ate all of bryan's food. we played the abc game. i was behind by so much! oh well. but i still got second place. stupid bryan! we got to the beach. megan got thrown in during the first ten minutes. we just sat around and talked. that was kind of fun. then lunch came and everyone went to their potlucks. i was not asked so i just sat there. chris was with everyone so i did not want to go there. it would have been really weird. i guess i do not like being with my friends if he is there. it just gets me depressed. everyone looked like they were having fun so i went to jenelyn. she gave me food! =) but she also gave me this nasty chocolate thing. it was so gross! then i met up with bryan and megan again. we sat three to a seat on the way back home too. we fell asleep. some people played this slapping game. you could hear some veins pop. over all the beach was ok.

yesterday we had a vespers. (jed was really happy.) the speaker was talking about how he met his wife. it was so sweet! but then i just thought about me and chris and i just got depressed. but the message that he told us was really good.

i was listening to my northern mix cd. there are so many songs that i can relate to! there is one song in particular, "you and i both" by jason mraz. i love that song! i really like the part where it says "and it's okay if you have to go away. just remember the telephone works both ways. and if I never ever hear it ring if nothing else I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else and that's okay cause I'll remember everything you sang." i am so sad! then i started thinking about memories of chris and i. i was thinking about last february when he had a surprise party for me. it was so sweet! then i started thinking about all the other memories. and that reminded me of "one year, six months" by yellowcard. "All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you." grr! he seems so unphased. but i guess that i should not be surprised. he is fine. and he will be totally over me by the time summer vacation is over. i hate this...

sTaR sEaRcH wAs So MuCh FuN!

saturday. went to the hospital then to church then to the hospital again then home. kristina was going to pick me up to go to star search since jen could not. i called her cell and krystal answered. she said they could not pick me up because they got into an accident. she was crying. i was like "WTF! what happened?" but my relatives took me to school. i saw vince and then and i told them what happened. rj, sy, and collin were there. cool beans! i talked to them. vince and i have the same camera! woohoo! it was so weird. but i got mine for a cheaper price. during intermission i had to sell for our booth. we made maybe $100. that is not bad. chris put an ice cube down my shirt. i talked to old seniors and ronan. it was so good to see all those people! i missed them. mark and teo were doing this whip cream thing to people but teo was not going to do it to me because he is scared of me. i think that is pretty weird. i talked to danny about kristina. he told me that she was on the fast lane and this car was swerving towards her. so to prevent crashing into him kristina swerved left and hit the center divider. it is ironic because she is always so scared about crashing into them. "the wall is my friend..." kristina got burns on her face and arms because of the airbag dust or something and krystal got burns on her neck from the seat belt. bastard! i talked to more people after star search and said bye to everyone. jenelyn and i went to ralph's to buy my mom mother's day presents. i got her a card, balloon, and flowers. whee! i showed them to her when i got home. i am pretty sure she likes them. haha! peace out yo, homie g.

philx516: walk in confident and you will pass
hOtNsExYpAnDa: that is stupid
philx516: lol
philx516: damn
philx516: my plan is stupid
hOtNsExYpAnDa: hahaha
philx516: are you gonna study for it at all this week
hOtNsExYpAnDa: yeah
hOtNsExYpAnDa: probably
hOtNsExYpAnDa: maybe
hOtNsExYpAnDa: i dont know
hOtNsExYpAnDa: hahah
philx516: pshh nerd
hOtNsExYpAnDa: whatever
hOtNsExYpAnDa: you wont stupid and get a 3
philx516: You will get a ...... 5!!!!
hOtNsExYpAnDa: WHAT!?!?!
hOtNsExYpAnDa: whatever
philx516: I have foresight =-O
hOtNsExYpAnDa: i will be lucky if i even get a 2
hOtNsExYpAnDa: foresight my ass!
philx516: lol I wasn't planning to foresight your ass :-D

when you find someone that you love and that loves you back and then it ends, it is like you are more alone than how you were before you were with them.

BAA MOTTO: do it. do it now!

i miss northern. i am finally blogging considering that we got back two days ago. on sunday i had to go to La central at 6 am. i woke up at 5:33 am but that is ok since i live right next to it. we were all tired. we loaded the van and went on our way. i barely slept on the way up. we got to santa cruz. i hit on bryan. it was so funny! briggitte got thrown in by jason, byron, and eddie. so freaking hot! then we got to our hotel. it said "welcome san gabriel academy" at the front. nice. the five girls were in a suite. we went to safeway and bought groceries. 24/$2.40 ramen! us girls cooked our first dinner together. it was so cute! i dipped my feet in the jacuzzi. it was nice. but then my feet started to get prunny. yuck! good first day.

on monday we went to the jelly bell factory. the tour was kind of boring but it was a joy to see briggitte freaked out by the oompa-loompa's. we went to this spot with a nice view. but i got a little freaked out that i might fall over. there was this log that most of us signed. it had "i ate pussy right here" on it. how pleasant. we ate at emeryville. so expensive! i tried the thai tea and green tea gelato. i liked the green tea one better. we had a few hours to go around downtown sf. the girls went around the shopping center to see what we were going to get on thursday. we wanted to watch "13 going on 30" but it was too expensive. everyeon was playing games at the metreon so briggitte and i looked around the metreon. VAN HELSING! you know! we went to pac bell park. the game was ok. there is not much to say about that. i have a picture of bond's ass.

on tuesday i was high! we had two hours of unlimited play at portal 1 at the metreon. i played hyperbowl, a bunch of racing games, ddr, and the basketball game. so much fun! my hands got really sore the next day! we ate at blondie's. that was probably the best pizza i have ever had! we went to fisherman's warf and ghirardelli square via cable car. i laughed at everything! we went to sharper image. it was so good! we got massages on their chairs. we waited for the cable car. briggitte started speaking her mind about the michelle thing. it was crazy! i felt a little weird so i went into another conversation. we went to union square. we took this picture with this heart and steph looks like she is between a butt and looks very happy. =) we went to the ten story macy’s and to the cheesecake factory at the very top. then we went to get jamba juice. i got the small strawberry tsunami. the lady asked me if i wanted an original one for free. i got it and then she gave me my small one. nice! fun day!

wednesday. we went on the golden gate bridge and took pictures. then we went to telegraph and spent an hour at amoeba music. they have some great stuff! we ate at blondie’s again. we made bears at the basic brown bear factory. ozzie’s looks like him. we got to haight and ashbury. we did not find the store with the sexual stick figures. but we got bracelets for $0.25. then we had a bbq. ozzie made really good burgers! we were watching the laker game. BRYAN IS SUCH A GUY! it was weird. at night we went into the pool and jacuzzi. the security guard came since it was 11 pm and the pool was closed at 9 pm. the guys chilled at our room. we played blackjack. but every time we lost we had to drink a cup of water. there was this 7 up that tasted salty and steph really did not want to drink it so i did. it did not affect me. jason, mike, and eddie were dying! good times.

thursday. it was our last day. we got screwed over at the exploratorium. we went to the palace of fine arts. jessie jumped from this really high spot. on his way down he said “fuck you!” it was so funny! the houses in that area are so nice! we went to the metreon and had time to shop. i got shirts for $5. jon jon actually went into a&f. i got people’s presents. the strawberry creme frap is really good! we went to the hotel and had another bbq. yum! we watched the second to the last “friends.” i cried. it was crazy! then we watched “will & grace.” we went into the jacuzzi. i hit on bryan again. i tried to make a move on him. so funny! we talked about relationships and people’s problems. fun stuff. we have nicknames for the two different groups of guys there. the Ns are the nice guys: phil, bryan, jon, and jessie. the Bs are the bitches: jason, mike, eddie, and byron, but not so much. we were going to get pedicures there but it was either $20 or $25. guys up at northern are so horny!

aww friday. =/ we loaded the van. i slept most of the way. but after we ate i was alert. i miss northern. a lot.

northern quotes:

briggitte: i'm not racist, i just tell the truth!

byron: look, there's a gay guy
jason: look, another one
steph: WHERE, WHERE, WHERE ARE ALL THE GAYS?!

me: aww, you're chandler!
bryan: you know, i took like 5 online quizzes, and they all said chandler.
briggitte: he's funny though.
(bryan gets all sad)
briggitte: funny in a good way.

me: bryan has a "gay thing"!
phil: where?

bryan: have you read megan's away message where jimmy fallon talks about the guy who collected 1,000,000 pennies and was like, "i wonder how much that is...must be like 4 million dollars."
me: that's not bad

me: say yes or no.
phil: yo...nes
steph: no...wait

steph: all the guys are going to get a boner!

ozzie burps
someone: can you burp on command?
me: do it now!
ozzie: oh yeah. right after i burp.

sheila: press it long and hard

sheila: it's so beautiful i want to gag.

steph: (falling to her knees) NOOOOOO!

today i had a piano test. the guy said that my sight reading was the best he heard all day. nice. i told my mom and she said that my teacher told her that i am better at sight reading than brian. finally. something i am better at than brian.

YAY!

our northern problems are solved! we had a meeting at lunch today. (i got thai food for our algebra potluck! woot!) everyone was so nervous. we started talking. we tried to get new ideas and some people said they would try to get people. tomorrow after school is the deadline for people to be our drivers. but the only reason why we could not just take one fifteen seater was because there would be too much luggage. so since it was only the luggage was the only problem briggitte's dad would be able to drive up with us on sunday with all the luggage then come down. and on friday caitlyn's dad could take our luggage down. we were all so excited! we are so close! we are pretty sure that it is going to be that way. i am happy! the chorale people are gone today. they are on their way to hawaii. they are probably there already. chris i gone. =/ i did not even get to say good-bye. well i did on the phone but what kind of a good-bye is that!?!? oh well. i hope that everyone has fun! i know that i will up at northern! woohoo! party 24/7! but this saturday i am going to bryan's party dinner thing. no one is ever going to agree on a movie. 13 going on 30! i know the guys do not want to watch that. oh well. i guess we will see. NORTHERN HERE WE COME!

my "japanese" name is:

Jennifer Mariano,

from this day forward your
Ninja Burger ninja name will be

Rinsaku Chiaki -san

Use this name in all
future dealings with
Ninja Burger customers.

aslkdjfklsadjfs;dfklsafjasf;lasdjf;ksadjf

northern in two weeks! i need to make a northern mix for the ride up and the ride down. well that would only be one mix but i would listen to it on the ride up and the ride down. yeah. anyway. i just realized that there is no one to miss me anymore. wow. that sounds so conceited. but i mean there is no one that will say "aww! i missed you so much!" or "man! why do you have to go? i am going to miss you like crazy!" that just made me a little sad. just something else to get over.

i was watching EVERWOOD last night and it made me really sad. ephrim and i are like this! we are going though the same crap! but i have been through what he is going through right now. but i felt his pain! and watching it brought back all this other crap for me too.

well we did our debate today. we have to finish tomorrow. we are getting KILLED! oh well. at least we know that we tried and that we did our best. that is really all that matters. i like my team. we are a cool bunch!

life has been ok. chris and i are ok. we are not best friends but we are friends. so that is good. not being best friends like planned is just another thing to get over. ok. i am going to get going now. payce yo! =)

why didn't you fight for me?

"..now i think that moral fiber is about finding that one thing that you really care about.. that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. and when you find her.. you fight for her. you risk it all. you put her in frnot of everything.. your future, your life.. all of it..and maybe the stuff you do to hlep her isn't so clean.. but you know what? but it doesnt matter.. cus in your heart you know.. that the juice is worth the squeeze. thats what moral fiber is all about." - sean's profile

i do not know why i feel this way but i do. i feel bad but it is just how i feel. =/

well so much for being best friends.

i miss...

i miss playing cards in the hallway. i miss walking to school. i miss the convenience of things. i miss going to the cafe after school. i miss walking to school with kristina. i miss white memorial school. i miss everyone living in the high rise. i miss going to people's houses in the high rise. i miss summer day camp. i miss staff training. i miss raging waters. i miss swim day. i miss the funny feeling you get inside when you like someone. i miss holding hands. i miss kisses on the cheek. i miss kisses on the hand. i miss kisses in general. i miss rings. i miss hugs. i miss bear hugs. i miss having someone come up behind you and squeeze you. i miss being with someone. i miss the first time you hold someone's hand. i miss just sitting there with your significant other and not saying a word. i miss knowing that just sitting there spending time together without saying a word brings us closer together. i miss having a best friend. i miss being able to talk to someone about anything. i miss playing with hair. i miss someone playing with my hair. i miss being held. i miss i miss my friends. i miss too many damn things!

this song is dedicated to all of my friends whom i love so very much I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

When every moment gets too hard
The end of the road can feel so far
No matter how much time we'll part
I'm always near you
I'll be the shelter in your rain
Help you find your smile again
I'll make you laugh if you have a broken heart
Wherever you are

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

So many people come and go
Nothing can change the you I know
You'll never be just a face in the crowd
And time will show
Through the seasons and the years
I will always hold you dear
Never you fear

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

I'll be around when every candle burns down low
And I want you to know...

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

I Will Be Your Friend by Coco Lee

'til i get over you by michelle branch

everytime i feel alone
i can blame it on you
and i do, oh
you got me like a loaded gun
golden sun and sky so blue
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

sometimes i watch the world go by
i wonder what it's like
to wake up every single day
smile on your face
you never tried

we both know we can't change it
but we both know we'll just have to face it

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

if only i could give you up
but would i want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

we both know that i'm not over you
i'm not over you

*(chaque fois que to ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien)
everytime you walk away, i pretend that i'm okay

quote: why does it hurt so much? will it always hurt this much?

alright. i am being vulnerable. i am putting all of my emotions at the moment on the table. whenever i do this my mind always seems to go blank. after chris and i broke up of course i cried my eyes out. then after a while i stopped crying but everything just seemed so screwed up. chris and i did not even have a relationship anymore. we would not talk at all and when we did for some reason we would end up fighting. that is my fault. i was so anxious for spring break to come because maybe i could clear my head and start getting over him. but for some reason that is not the case. we talk online a little but i do not know. spring break has been crap for me. i cannot even spend time with my friends because my dad is in the philippines and no one can drive me anywhere. the last time i saw anyone from school was on saturday and that was jenelyn. i have only talked to about five people online this whole week and that sucks. i really just want high school to be over with. it seems like the pain just keeps coming back and it never goes away! i just want to feel better! and last night did not help at all. i was going to go to sleep but i ended up thinking of how much i missed him and all the things we have been through. then i started to think about how i handled this whole break up and how i drove him away. now he probably does not want to be my friend anymore. and even if we did get anther chance to be together i doubt that he would want to. i know that he deserves to be happy and i want him to be happy. but it hurts to see him so happy and realize that i am not the one that makes him happy anymore and never will be. i kind of envy him because it seems like he can just brush it off his shoulders and be happy. i wish that i could be happy. i do not know how he does it. how can he get over someone he has been with for about two years and be happy? i wish i knew his secret because i could use some of the joy right about now. i thought that my tears would be all gone by now. but they just keep coming! i just miss him. i miss how we used to talk on the phone for hours and never get tired of each other. we would talk about everything. have you ever been with someone that was also your best friend? (jed gets it.) and when you guys break up it is the hardest thing in the world to let go of. i am still trying to let go. it is just so damn hard! i am sorry if people are fed up with me and this whole thing. but if you are then just tell me and I WILL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU! aiya! i need emotional support! hmm... i used to get that from him. now everything has changed. i cannot even talk to him anymore. about anything! but i should not expect anything from him since we are not together or really friends. which sucks. last night i had horrible dreams. it was like my nightmares were coming true. i was sitting in a room with *****. (i do not want to mention her name.) and i asked her who she was going to go with to junior senior. i suggested that she go with chris because i think that something will happen between them. then she calls him and they start talking and i guess sparks fly and yeah. that is a nightmare for me, that chris will move on faster than i will and with another person. then i had all these other dreams about me and chris and i could not sleep. i kept tossing and turning. i was half awake and half dreaming. it was horrible! my heart felt to heavy because it hurt so much. it was a horrible night! i wish i could be happy. i wish i could talk to him. i wish i could be his friend again. i wish lots of things. i hate how things are. i hate how i drove him away. i hate that i lost my best friend. my spring break sucks. everyone got to do something. i have been so lonely! just sitting here alone with my thoughts. do you know how that can drive a person nuts?!?! well i really do not know what else to write. it is time for me to stop being vulnerable. peace.

quote: "the worse thing is that i lost my best friend."

look! i am blogging! this is new. i know i do not usually blog and i have to tell people when i do. but then i only told bryan and chris so it is so stupid! wow! the last time i blogged was on december 29. that is so crazy! my entry was very gag me. but that is ok. well since then chris and i broke up because his mom wanted us apart since we are too young and i am not korean. great. i am trying to get over it but it is really hard. i mean it already hurts that i lost my boyfriend and that we will never be together but what hurts even more is that i also lost my best friend. we used to talk all the time on the phone. we would talk about stupid stuff and sometimes even gossip. he was my best friend. and now everything has changed. we still talk but not talk talk. we say hi and mess around with each other but we do not talk like we used to. i know that it is not his fault and i am not blaming him or anyone. i just miss those times. i wish we could talk more and stay connected. i want the connection that we had. but i know that we will never have it back. for my extra credit english poem i am going to write about this. i am going to title it “forever” because i lost my best friend forever. i miss my best friend.

quote: here you go...

I LOVE YOU BABE! I MISS YOU SOO MUCH! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! BUT THAT IS SO LONG FROM NOW! OK. BYE!

quote: wow! i haven't blogged in a long time!

this blog is dedicated to NUMBER ONE! hi number one! i do not really have time to blgo anymore. ap us is killing me! we had a test today. i think i did ok. but the cycle begins again! haha! since no one probably reads this except chris, i will just write to chris. hey babe! how are you? i am so bored! it's thursday and it's my kick back day. i love it! i am watching will and grace. it is such a funny show! man. i am really bad at blogging. i never know what to write. AAAHHHH! I AM SO MAD! I CANNOT GO TO THE STUPID FRIENDS TAPING BECAUSE I AM NOT 18! GRRR! oh well! at least i can stay for vespers tomorrow and spend time with number 1! ok. sorry but i do not know what else to write. sorry babe! check back some other time! i love you! bye!

quote: BJ KISSED ME!

today was so fun! i went to church and blah blah blah. kris came from surfing with will. she wants to be a surfer chick now. we went to get thai deli. we ate it on the second floor since aj and bj were there. they are both so cute! bj doesn't smile a lot but when he does it's like the sun! achibooboo! kris and i had to go somewhere. so aj and bj gave us hugs and kisses. aj kissed me on the cheek but bj kissed me on the lips. it was so weird and funny at the same time! i feel so special. see.. even if i'm not with someone i can still get kissed. haha! vince was there. he was like "hold my hand." he's so weird. he has a car now and is working. what a queen! kristina had to go get a haircut so i went with her so that i was not at home doing nothing and thinking about what happened. but it was so gay because we went to koreatown so i still thought about it. then we wanted to do something after so we asked her hair stylist where to go. she suggested the grove. it was so cool there! there were a bunch of cool stores. their forever 21 is the best! seriously! i had the best caramel frap today! it was at the cafe in barnes and nobles. kris and i went back home and blah. i talked to chris. i didn't cry! wow! i am amazed! i did other stuff and bleck!

quote: WE BROKE UP!

CHRIS BROKE UP WITH ME! yes. he did. he did last night. he was going to do it in person at school but i read his xanga and i figured it out. i called megan, jen, and rachel. i was freaking out. yah. we broke up. he broke up with me. it's so weird. i called jen after and then i called kris. kristina really made me feel better. she wants to castrate him. it's so funny! but i don't want her to do that. school today was so weird. i got to school and i told andrew and michelle. for some reason i started to cry. and then bryan came and i cried. rachel and bryan hugged me. i felt a little better. megan hugged me and so did jina. i got lots of hugs today. man. i didn't even want this break up. it's so hard for me. but i thank God that i have such incredible friends that care about me and love me and are there for me whenever i need them. i went through the day putting on a happy front. sometimes it was really hard for me to seem happy but i did it anyway. sometimes i would be walking and be all happy then all of a sudden i would have a mood swing and be sad. i hated it. marvin and khaing were going through it and i was so pissed off so see them together and happy and back together. i mean i am really happy for them but it just sucks that it can't happen to me. i got a notes from jen and erin. they were like warm and fuzzies. aww. i was not in the car washing mood. i really wasn't. it was hot and i felt like crap. my bitter anger showed later in the afternoon. bryan, megan, kyle and i went to burger king. it was so scary because i sat in the back seat of kyle's car and it was folded so i didn't have an actual seat. so i had to hang on to the seat in front of me. kyle has ADD. it's so funny! i was going to ride in the back again but megan was like, "no, i want to be dangerous." haha! i farted so many times. one time bryan actual got to smell it. sucker! bryan and megan gave me a note too. it was so sweet! i love you guys! you guys are the best! all of my friends are the best. jenelyn and i are supposed to go out tonight. so yah. man. i want him back. i have a song. it's "'til i get over you" by michelle branch. yup. i don't know what else to say. THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED ME OUT! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

quote: i have a weird family!

i love my family! they are so funny! they are watching tapes of us and all that. my cousin was saying that they should stop watching them and start making new memories. it's so gay because they are watching tapes that just happened like three months ago. yah well. that's my family. they sing a lot! and not all of us have great voices so you must imagine how that is. anyway, my week was ok. i haven't blogged in a while. it's not like i have much time with AP US. it's not hard but we just have to read a lot. but it doesn't take long to read, i just study a lot after so it takes be like an hour and a half to two hours. it's fine since i finish all my other stuff during TA. i love that period. i don't do anything. i do some stuff for ms. pongvarin but it doesn't take that long, and the rest of the time is free. so i do my homework. if i have homework, it is usually just bible, AP US, and foods. it's so funny! this week was not all that great. chris and i went through a rough patch again. he was going to break up with me. i don't blame him but yah. we were on a break for like a day then i don't know what happened to it. my eyes looked all retarded on thursday because i was crying the night before. ugh. i hate it when my eyes are like that. i look stupid! and it feels funny. chris tried to talk to me but i wasn't really in the mood to talk to him. i would talk to everyone else but him. i was just not in the mood. i guess i need more time or whatever. but then i started to talk to him more. and that's that. we got through it. GAP wasn't all that successful. i was bored and hot most of the time, but then someone wet me. great. FAS was very good. i liked it a lot. at first i didn't want to go but then i did since i had nothing better to do after school. and it was a good thing i went. EVERYONE, GO TO FAS EVER FRIDAY AT 1:45 PM!

quote: JUNIOR SUCKS!... already.

man! i hate junior year already. i thought that sophomore year was going to be crap but it was not that bad. and i thought that junior year was going to be a ball. but guess what? it's not! i hate it! i am so tired and it's so hot and i have no time for anything or no one has anytime for me or anything else. but whatever. i guess i just have to get over it and move on with my miserable life. i have 5 classes with rachel, mike, jason, and byron. that's so funny! mike is going to be funny! our english class is going to be so cool! there are like 20 of us in that class! and we have cool people so she will have more fun with us. that's right! but whatever. that's the only good thing going for me right now.

quote: school is starting in two days!

dang! summer is over already. at times it seemed like it dragged but overall, it was really short. but that's fine. i kind of wanted to go back to school. i brought my dad to the airport today. he was going to the philippines. it's gay because now my kuya has to bring me to school. whatever. that's ok. i get faceplates from the philippines. they are so cheap there! but then again everything is cheap there. ooh! tomorrow is going to be so fun! i am going out with chris. we are going shopping. we are going to glendale galleria so that chris can get collared shirts. it's going to be so fun! chris has never been to glendale galleria so it will be cool. the tonight show is so funny! yah. i don't have much to say. i thought that i would but it turns out that i don't. oh well! omg! planning the junior senior banquet is going to be so fun! whee!

quote: SLUT!

last night was really weird. i was watching the movie boys and girls and i was thinking... what if chris and i broke up after high school because of distance or we are going in different directions. it sucks but i can't help thinking about it. man! this sucks! moving on.. today was a long day! i spent my whole day with kristina, mark, erin, and some with jenelyn. kristina called me today and woke me up. she told me that we were going to take pictures so i better get ready. that was so gay! we didn't even plan anything. freaking a! kristina came to my house and took a shower and we went to pick up mark and erin. we went to glendale galleria for like two hours trying to find something to wear for the pictures. it was so stupid though because what we ended up buying was at the first store that we went to. so we practically wasted an hour and a half. grr! jen was taking forever. we all got pissed off a lot. i didn't even want to wear the skirt that we were going to wear but i had no say in it since i was out numbered. oh well. we were taking pictures because it was a favor for mark. he wanted to take pictures with the girls so we went. he wanted to look like a pimp or whatever. so stupid! out outfits were so slutty! we wore wife beaters and black catholic school girl skirts. they were so short! they reminded me of the grouP ta-tu. eeww! the skirt was so short on me. if i bent over even just little you can see my underwear. yup. great day for wearing pink underwear. and i wore a blue bra so i had to wear two wife beaters so that you couldn't see it. gah! we saw a shirt at windsors that said "frankie says relax" just like in friends. cool! we got to expose. it was so hot in kristina's car because her AC doesn't work. it was literally 108 degrees in her car! so hot! we took the pictures. some of the poses that i had were hard and made my hand or foot fall asleep. nice. i felt like such a slut. i had to sag the skirt a little so my underwear wouldn't show as much. but then you could see part of my underwear at the top. kristina took a picture. gah! but we are going to return the skirts that we got because it's $20 for that little skirt and we only bought it for the pictures. haha! we are so gay! that's ok. we are cool like that. they made fun of my boobs and butt! not nice. we finally got the pictures over with! we got subway! woohoo! yummy! i got steak and cheese. =) we went to alhambra for some reason and back to my house and played scrabble for like two hours. yup. i was out all day! yay! chris is back from PUC! ok. that was my day. it was freaking long! maybe because it was hot and we all pissed each other off. haha! i love my friends. =)

quote: packing is fun!

yay! i got to see megan today.. hi megan! yeah. she came to my church. she goes to my church like every summer. why? i don't know. today i got something in the mail. it was quite interesting. i have to apply for this thing and write a biography about myself. then i might get a scholarship ranging from $1000 to $16000. wow! that's so cool! i hope i get it so that my parents get some help paying for my college. man! freaking A! i want to go to a non-christian college. if you can't accept that then forget you! i just won't go to college. and if you think that sending me off to the philippines to go to college is going to work, then forget about it! it's my life! i have already made my decision! no fuck off and leave me the hell alone! i made my choice. if i have to pay for the college that i want to go to myself, so be it. but i am not going to some damn in the middle of nowhere school like la sierra, PUC or walla walla. i won't even go to stupid loma linda! screw those colleges. i know what i want and i don't care if you support me or not. so just FUCK OFF!

quote: it's happening as expected...

it's been a pretty boring week. i am going to school to register for school tomorrow. i hope i get the classes and the locker that i want. i finally made up my mind. i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin during 6th period instead of TAing for pastor chung during 7th period.. i think. this is so hard! i don't really know why. it just is for me. but i am pretty sure i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin. it just seems better. aah! junior year is going to be cool! but then again, other parts of junior year may not be as grand. it's happening. right now. it is starting. it has begun. more fights. more arguments. more disagreements. aaah.. great times. by the end of junior year we will be so different. we are going to drift. DRIFT I TELL YOU! it is going to be bitter. we won't talk a lot. the only times that we are going to talk are at lunch and maybe after school. and on the phone... but not every day. i know it's not going to be every day. there is just no way. but whatever. i must prepare myself for how things are going to be. but no amount of preperation will ever prepare me for what is going to happen. if it doesn't turn out this way, i will be very surprised. we aren't going to be as close as we are. i don't think we will be getting any closer. the fights are going to be horrible! i will cry. he will cry. we will both cry. we will never go out because i can't or he can't. but then again, that's how it is now. but i am fine with that. i don't really care much about going out. but i care a lot about talking. at most we will talk for two hours. but that's only on occasion. it's really sad. but i guess it had to happen some time. moving on... briggitte found this pretty place for junior senior! omg! i was going to cry when i saw it! it's so pretty! i am so excited to plan the banquet. it will be so cool! haha! we have an officers meeting on friday. great. at least i get to get out of the house for a few hours. it's better than staying at home. that's all for now.. bye.

quote: i am so bored.

i think i have a sleeping problem. i can never go to sleep. well i can but it's really hard. is it because i sleep too much? i don't know. i go to sleep at around 4 am or something like that. but i want to sleep earlier but i can't. i want to go to school so that i can sleep normally. i got to see chris on friday. that's so cool! he's back from san diego! yay! i am going to cancun after graduation. we are going on a cruise. that's so cool! it is going to be a graduation present from my parents. i am going with some of my friends. but they are paying for themselves. i am not paying for them. yeah right. wow! i know the answer to the riddle: "Angry and hungry are two words that end in '-gry'. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it everyday. Look closely and I have already given you the third word." but it's so gay! but whatever. not many people get it. well at least i don't think so. i watched the fireworks from the rose bowl on friday. we went up to a friends house. they are still building their house though. $700,000 for the land and $1.3 million for the house. that's so crazy! but it's so hard to get up to their house! it's like you're going to fall. haha! well it was fun there. that's all i have to say for now. see yah! bye!

quote: i blog. do you?

my bad. i haven't blogged in a while, wouldn't you say so? but that's fine. no one needs to know about my daily life. it's none of your business anyway. haha! i'm just kidding. my family from florida came this week. it has been no stop laughter! my cousins are so funny! my ate sharon showed us this really funny website. i would tell you what it is but i want to keep it all to myself. but it's really funny! it's with flash and it's so cool! but anyway... i went to loma linda yesterday. it was freaking hot!!! geez. how do people live there? it's in the middle of nowhere and the weather is insane!! oh well. never eat at a place called bamboo garden. it's not very good. yah. i was watching that one TV show called "meet my folks" and it was really funny. guys are so stupid! but that's fine. i just hope that i will never fall for a guy like that. haha! ok. i don't know what else to tell you guys. my summer has been very boring except for the last week. ok. peace out. =P

quote: dedicated to RaCheL DaWa! =)

look rachel! i'm blogging! just for you! don't you feel so special?!?! huh! huh! don't ya?! yeah. my day was good. but we have a biology test tomorrow and a spanish test. crap.. oh well. i am going to try not to stress out about it too much. i mean, it's the end of the year. it's about time that i do. i can't believe that sophomore year is almost over. only 7 more school days left. wow! that's a week. and three of those days are only finals. NOOOOOOO! and the seniors are going to graduate. it's going to be weird without them. and we are going to be UPPER CLASSMEN! aaaaahhhh! that's so cool. we can acutally beat people up now... not that i would. i'm nice to the freshmen. really. i won't be missing school too much during the summer. at least i can see chris since he can drive and all. yay-a! mojo can drive! yep yep! i hope that i can see the girls during the summer though. LET'S TAKE PICTURES! yah! for sure this time. no of that "i can't come" or "tkt is closed" or "i have no ride" crap. it's the summer meng! you gotta take pictures with the ladieeez! it's only right. anyway.. moving on.. OPEN YOUR EYES! damn it. even though it's not my problem.. OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES! spend time with her and not it... and spend time with him and not them. omg! is that so hard to follow? honestly! putang ina! ok. that's all rachel. i think i will go now, k. peace out.

quote: one word: AMAZING!

BEACH DAY! woot woot! it was SA's beach picnic thing. i got to spend time with chris! yay! freaking briggitte, sheila, and jina threw me in the water and chris didn't even help me! i swallowed some water though. it was acutally very funny! chris is the hardest person to throw in the water. people should really spend time with their special someone if they are going to be with them. if you choose an object over them then maybe you aren't ready to have a special someone. and i do believe that people need and want attention from their special someone. you can't have a relationship if you don't spend time together. even just talking. is that so hard to do? seriously! but aside from that, today was great! i can't believe i lost in big two. that's crap! so i will lose next time. but it will is all worked out. we have a plan to even it out. ok. i think i will go now. peace out.

quote: i'm a campaign manager.. wow!

jed has a blog? since when? hmm... quite intersting. omg. jed makes me so confused! strongbad? star runner? what is this? yay! i got PR! i am happy. but i feel so bad for winning. ok. i don't want to be like jed and write a buttload on my blog. so long! =)

quote: lizards are scary!

jed is stupid! he tried to hit me with paper. squirt smells like andrew.. or andrew smells like squirt. lizards are weird. ok.

quote: you are an idiot! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

i'm blogging because chris needs something to read. haha! i love you babe! i can't spell hassle. so what?!? andrew is the stupidest guy i know. seriously. he tried to serenade me with an eminem song. but it was the nice part. haha! ok. maybe you had to be there. but whatever. today kind of sucked. but it relieved my mind off of the speaker for the vespers! thank you so much jed! seriously! i couldn't do it without you! but still. today sucked! foshizo! MY KIZZER! i didn't get to do something that i really wanted to do today. stupid coach! it was planned and everything. piece of crap! squirt is so cute! i don't understand why chris doesn't want to kiss him. but that's ok. we had a stpid officers meeting today. i really hate those. i am not sure if i want to run for an office next year. it's kind of yeah. but i think that i will. if i make it then that's great. if i don't then i'm cool with that. ok. sorry chris! i can't think of anything else to write. oh! christopher sungtae ha is the hottest and sexiest person ever! bye! =)

quote: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

first, BIG SUR WAS FUN! ok. that's all i'm going to say. now... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? oh my gosh! what is going on? if you are going to have a relationship with someone, make sure it's ONLY WITH THAT ONE PERSON! don't make it seem like you like someone else. i understand that people like to spend time with other people. but you don't have to be all up on them and touchy feely. tsk tsk! why are people like that?
geez. friends are so complicated. MY KIZZER! why you gotta have competition, huh? it's just seems so wrong. oh well! they can't work it out themselves.
what is the point of long term relationships while you are still in high school? isn't it the time in our lives where we should have a lot of bFs/gFs so that we know what we want in a guy. i know that if you have someone and are pretty sure you are satisfied with them then you want to stay with them. but what if you leave that person and go "explore" other things and you find something better? then what? see. i don't know anymore. i'm not saying i want to stop the relationship that i have but i just want someone to answer my question. no one seems to know that answer and it really bugs. aren't we supposed to be exploring new things and not just settle for what you have now? it's so complicated! does anyone know what the point of long term relationships are? anyone?

quote: i think we're going to break up soon.

I'M GETTING FISH! i think that i will name them boba and bubbles. yah. that sounds about right. ok. back to my day. it was crap! i went to the mall and my mom just pissed me off so bad! i hate going shopping with her. i saw the panda and koala shirts at american eagle but she wouldn't let me get it! that's so gay! they are like the coolest shirts ever! UGH! anyway. back to the real reason to why i am blogging. i think that chris and i are going to break up some time soon. i can't take it anymore! we fight so much and it's not just one thing. it is a collection of all these different things that have collected over time. i just can't take all this getting mad. but then again that part is my fault. i don't understand why he puts up with it. he says it's because he loves me and he cares and he doesn't know how he could live without me. but i think that we are better off seperated. i just want to give up! i'm so tired of feeling like my heart is being torn. if we broke up we would eventually get over each other even if it took a long time. i don't want to give up the best thing that happened to me. but now, it's just getting to be so horrible. we have drifted apart so much. and with summer coming we are going to drift apart even more. I HATE THIS!

quote: eeewwww. gross!

superficial people are so gay! i was watching that one show "are you hot?" oh my goodness. it's so stupid! it's a bunch of people that are judging you by the way they look. it's so stupid! ugh. whatever. i don't care anymore! T.A.T.U. is a weird band. they are lesbians! why do they have to make out in their music video. i hate it when people are shooting a video and they are making out and they go in for a close up. i mean come on! we don't need to see what's going on up in there!!! their tongues are everywhere! it's so gross! is it really necessary for them to do that? honestly! hey! junior senior banquet is tomorrow. i get to serve stuff. heh! BLAH!

quote: we're on a break.

i would have to say that the past week was the crappiest week ever! i caused so much trouble between chris and i. i must be the most stupid person ever. look where we are now. it sucks so much! i can't even describe how i feel right now. why am i so retarded? i feel like crap! CRAP! this spring break is going to suck. wow! i has been a year since i told him that i liked him. i can't believe it! last spring break i talked to him like everyday of the week. this spring break when we are acutally together, we aren't even talking. this sucks.

quote: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I'M SO SCREWED!

the past to days were crap! yesterday, my parents got my grades. i got a bad grade in spanish because stupid ms. gordon only put on 3 entries for our grades. so it looks like im stupid. man! i cried so much! this morning, my eyes were all puffy and stuff. school was ok. we had the surprise thing for joanna today. it went well. everything was going ok. i was going to get shaved ice and everything.. then chris called. he tells me that snyder just got off the phone with my mom because she asked about my grade. he told her that there might me a distraction and that i have a boyfriend. crap. and it all went south from there. i asked teo if he could run me over with his car. i would rather die than face my parents. but eventually i had to. i walked in and my dad was like, "hey! how's the boyfriends?" geez. they gave me a lecture and all that gibberish. i cried like a mother! oh well! they want me to sit away from chris and break up with him. the sit away part i will do. but i'm not breaking up with him. screw that!

quote: kick away the need... DANG IT! kick it away!

it is such a sad yet joyous day for me. today, my "baby" commit suicide. rachel was throwing it to me. but i was not aware. it was all so sudden. i saw something fly. i asked rachel if it was my beloved "baby," my eraser. she nodded. i tried to look for it under the tables during biology. no where. yes. no where to be found. i thought it was under the front table. i was mistakened. the last time i saw my beloved was when it jumped off of my backpack. i ask, "why? why leave me now?" yes i knew that it was bound to happen some day. but i was hoping that it would die and not commit suicide or get kidnapped or lost. i hoped that it would die like a normal and natural death, by being used up by all the erasing that it has to do. but no. it died a tragic death. i mourn for the loss of my beloved eraser by being hyper and happy on the outside. but truely, on the inside, i am in pain. in pain because my "baby" is gone. forever. but wait. it may not be. it may still be alive. it may still be in mr snyder's room. there, on the floor, waiting for me to come and bring it home. but that is just a maybe. a small maybe. it is a maybe hanging by a small thread. after a while, if i do not find "my baby" i will eventually end my mourning. but do not fret. i have a new eraser in my life. rachel gave it to me for my birthday. i was planning on using it when "my baby" was gone. and i guess, i guess now is the time for me to use it. i did not name "my baby" before. but i will now. my new one is called DAVE. yes. DAVE. i plan to have many joyous times with dave. he is good to me. people say he is better than "my baby," but i beg to differ. "my baby" was with me ever since third grade. we have been through so much. i will keep those memories in my heart forever. "my baby" R.I.P. remember, i bought you in chinatown for $1. i hope you are happy in your "eraser heaven." it is a good place. no more rubbing on paper or desks. just a calm and peaceful environment. GOOD-BYE "MY BABY"... HELLO DAVE.

quote: *sigh* the bitter and the sweet... what can i say... i just have more sweet.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! my valentines day was excellent and dee-lite-fool. woot woot! i have a valentine and YOU don't. it's ok. don't fret. it's all good. i got two message in a balloon. not one. but TWO! but chris only meant to get me one. they accidentally gave me two. oh well. more candy for me! heeh! ok. i can't tell you much or else you guys will hit me or something. but i will tell you this.. I HAVE SPIDE SENSE!

quote: woohoo! it's my birthday! sweet 16!

today was acutally more than just ok. it was excellent! yah! i was pretty mad at first because i didn't want people knowing about my birthday. but oh well. freaking michelle, chris, rachel, and veronica! man! piss me off! it got better as the day went by. i was so hyper today! yeah! LET'S DANCE! ha ha ha! poor chris. he seemed so sad/mad today. but that all went away. stupid ms. gordon. but thanks to her trusty helpers in the balloon committee, i got my balloons from chris. wow! i actually got balloons! it was so embarrassing getting them at LAB though. that was the last class that i would think they would sing happy birthday to me. no seriously. even snyder sang. hmm... weird. the rest of the day went by great! chris got my flowers! OMG! that is sooo sweet! i can't believe that he actually got that for me! awww! i went to japanese village with jen and mark. we ate mexican food. WOW! soo YUMMY! i ate mango mochi and kona coffee mochi! yay! i got stars to make for "people." tee hee! we had this complicated plan on how to get the flowers into my house. haha! A HOOT! ok. that's all. happy birthday to me! wee!

quote: chicago!

yay! i gotto see him 3 times! woot woot! 3 times is a lot compared to other times. hahaha! we're funny. crack me up funny! i can't wait until tuesday. actually, i can't wait until friday because i get my frap ad nM&Ms! YAY! food. i'm going to win a bet and i'm happy. vacation is crap. i'm bored! someone take me somewhere! i'm mad a vince! he took erin to the loft but he didn't take me. i get to go there twice now! TWICE! sucka! hey! we should have a joint party! come on! we are going to turn 16 and we should have lots and lots of fun! yeah! we can go to todai and then have a party at kevin's. because of course we can't have it at my house or at erin's house. yah kevin's house! woot squared!

quote: megan is in the philippines. i'm so jealous!

aiya! i was so bored today! i didn't even want to go to that 50th anniversary thing. i don't even know those people! they seem so stuck up. eh. stupid high class filipinos. anyway. it was boring. do people expect for me to go with them somewhere when they don't even tell me? i mean seriously. do you people think that i know what's going on when you don't tell me crap!?!? my gosh! you know what, you guys can just do whatever you want. i will just stay here and do my own thing because what you guys are doing is really pissing me off. it may be a stupid thing to be upset about but that's how it is for me. damn it. i give up. it doesn't really matter to me anymore. i don't want to be a part of this whole thing anymore. it just gets me more and more angry. ::subject warp:: megan is gone! nooo! this sucks. i don't get to talk to her for like forever! at least i get some stuff from the philippines that i actually like. the only things that i get from the philippines is that mango/tamarind stuff. it's pretty good though but i keep getting those stuff. and all the other stuff is getting old. yay! i get stuff. oh crap! i have to go christmas shopping. eh. there's aren't many people to buy for so it's ok. feelings: sad, mad, upset, blah, happy, bored.

quote: omg. who cares about cliques!

omg! it pisses me off. people think that they are the only ones that do anything. well guess what... YOU'RE NOT! geez. people do things too. and you know what? i don't like you in that position! grr. i never wanted you there! and stop talking about cliques. GET OVER IT! it's not loke you're not in one. and it's not like you are doing anything about it anyway. so don't be a hypocrite and tell us what to do when you aren't doing it either. stupid person! piss me off...

quote: bible videos... sigh.

wow mama! i haven't blogged in a while. sorry megan. the banquet was fun! =) i had tons of fun. the bus ride was the best. it always is. but this year was special... hehe. i LOVED sunday night. it was the best! for real. i think that we sang pretty well. don't you agree? well that's just my opinion so you don't have to take it. lilo & stitch was so cool! freakin chris! he practically memorizes the whole movie. loser butt! but i still love you. omg. the christmas banquet was a wonderful night. or should i say excellent and delightful. ha ha ha! i crack myself up. gee gosh! they didn't even have any stupid cockroaches at that stupid yacht club or however you spell it. ergh. people have to start appreciating cockraoches. hmm yes. anyway, off the topic of the banquet... THE BIBLE PROJECT!!! so much work to do. i mean we are already done but it was just so stressful. my goodness. i will never do that again this sophomore year. seriously. i won't. i will just stick with book reports and some of the other things that we can do for bible projects. i am not up for the type of stress in the near future. but it was really funny when we were filming. freaking bob! it took him forever just to get the one line down. but it was funny. this week pooped me out. ha ha ha! funny word. but at least i got to have some fun today. so it's ok. i'm tired. time for ZzZzz. payce... (funny work)

quote: megan hates me... well she used to. wow! everyone hates everyone. what a lovely world.

DAMN YOU, SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE!

yo! what's up g dawg? erh? holy mother... i haven't blogged in a long time. eh. it's not like anyone reads this. except for danny. geez. people are bored... hahaha! it's so cold in my house. it is usually normal temp. hmm.... in-ter-es-ting. we are never going to go to SANTA MONICA. sorry. that was probably my bad. YAY! christmas banquet is going to be so cool! i am so happy! it will be fun! only four more days until the big day. dang. it sounds like i'm getting married.. "the big day..." but that won't be happening in another ten years or so. so it's ok. i finally got shoes to go with my dress. they are ok shoes, i guess. but they make me four to five inches taller. woow! at least i can be closer to chris' height than i am now. i mean the difference between us is ten to eleven inches. TEN TO ELEVEN FREAKING INCHES! that's almost oen whole foot! that's what i get for being short and going out with a tall korean boy. it's ok. by then end of this whole banquet thing, i will have spent about $120. that's not bad. i guess. shoes were more expensive than i wanted them to be. but it's ok. i can live with it. oh my freaking gosh! what happened to me today was weird. i was walking with my dad at santa anita mall. we were done buying my shoes and we were going to leave. this lady stops us and tells my dad that she was looking at me and thinks that i'm "so cute." ok...? then she starts talking to me about acting, commercials, modeling, and pictures. i was like, "what the...?" i tried making up excuses to get out of it but she would turn the tables on me. like for instance, i said that i was shy. (LIES!) and she said that they are doing this so they could get rid of my shyness. damn it. my dad said that it was up to me. i really didn't want to do it so i just turned her down. it was so weird. i find it funny. i am not into that modeling stuff. and besides, why do i have to do it? i already have people that care about me and love me just the way i am. sorry. but i am not superficial. i'm not like some people. geez. and when she was talking about all that stuff that she had to offer i was thinking, "you MUST be those fake people that try to rip people off by telling them that they are meant to be all that stuff because why would you pick ME out of all the people in the mall?" seroiusly. but eh, whatever. i bet she just picked random people and stopped them when they passed by. she even made me smile and turn my head to a certain angle. weirdo. ok. it was a funny experience though.

quote:i don't have one. eh...

i'm so bored. stupid vacation. as of now, i have absolutely no feelings for anything or anyone. i am totally numb. maybe it's because i am really tired. hmm. i don't know. whatever. it kind of sucks to feel this way. it's like i don't care about anyone or anything. ha! funny. carefree! woop ti woop. but theh, once in a while, i feel fear. eh. too lazy to type. peace out.

quote: I HATE JED DE LA PAZ! (piss me off, man! piss me off!)

it was such a fun day! yeah! filipino club outing! omg. the flip side cracked me up! seriously! you're a coconut! or are you a rotten banana? hmm... omg. it was so funny! omg! max made my day. no. max is not a person. it is a restaurant. it has really good food! i got tapsilog! YUMMY! man. megan should have gotten something to eat. i could tell that she really wanted some of my delicious food. the restroom incident: we went into the restroom and i need to go really bad. i tried to open one of the doors but something seemed to be pushing on it really hard. i was like "what the..." and i pushed harder. then i saw part of a ladies shirt in there. i was like "oh crap!" i ran in the other restroom. megan and i were laughing so hard! i couldn't go to the restroom because i was laughing so hard and i was standing. and it i tried to, i would pee in my pants. if that's too much info for you, then that's too bad! ok. omg. then, i was washing my hands, then the lady was going to come out of the restroom. i was so scared! megan told me to go. so i ran out if the restroom. oh man! scary stuff! ok. it was really funny! i couldn't stop laughing. HAHAHA! that made my day! it was just so funny! man! why do we have to give tip to people. geez. food is good. ooh. eeeww! vince kissed me on the cheek! GROSS! it was a friendly kiss but still GROSS! stupid dork! but i guess that we are even now. oh! i bought two AE shirts! yay! i like them both. but jed and megan like the fish one better. hmm. IT'S A SIGN! haha! omg! freaking jed! he was messing with my mind for one hour and twenty five minutes! geez. ok. for the first few minutes it's ok. it's not so bad. but after about an hour and twenty five minutes of it, you start to get a little agitated. just a little. OMG! i was so pissed off! he lied about how he was soo much! half filipino half hawaiian. wtf is that?!?! 9th grader that chris doesn't know. wtf! i hate you jed! seriously. i was getting so mad! stupid dork!

quote: stay what you are.

meng! parents piss me off! i hate living up to their stupid expectations and their stupid crap. lectures... lectures... and more lectures. aiya. whatever. i think that we did well today. but we only had one stupid mike and we weren't loud enough. GRRR! oh well. it's over now so we can't do anything about it. hindi bali. yay! filipino club outing! i am so happy. oh man! i have to take a flyer for it. crazy! i am going to have so much fun there! yeah! go FLIP SIDE! i really want to watch that movie. it seems really good and funny and all that other stuff that goes witha filipino movie. haha! man! i screwed up so much! i am so sorry! i shouldn't have even done what i did. it was so stupid! I AM SOOOO SUPER SORRY!!! i am the worst person ever. I LOVE YOU! crap! i still have to buy a banquet dress. i need to LOOK for one. geez. i am such a dork. i have one in mind but i know that i am not going to get it. freakin $129. crud! so much stupid money just for one WINDSOR dress. stupid windsor! they are so expensive. i am just going to go to the one on vally. seriously. it seems so much cheaper. well most places are cheaper than windsor. i don't understand why windsor is so expensive. it's just the brand. aiya! who cares about the stupid brand. MONEY! hello! are people that shallow? i'm not saying that if you buy a dress at windsor, then you are shallow. i have gotten a dress from there before. but i mean, people that but things for the brand. that's who is shallow. i mean seriously. expensive stuff isn't always the best. but sometimes i can be impulsive and go against what i am saying right now. but everyone is guilty of that. so eyah. ok. what do i have to spend for the banquet? dress, shoes, hair, boutonniere, and half of pictures. that's not too bad. it's still more than $100. but if it's $100 or less, i will be soo happy! you don't even understand. i am so low on cash. and i still have to think of where i am going to go for A.A.W. mother humper! chorale people don't have to go through this! aiya! but at least we have a choice of where we want to go. haha! suckers. but we are all suckers, so whatever. awww. *SUCKERS FOREVER*

quote: come what may...

today was eh. omg. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE CHRISTMAS BANQUET ANYMORE! so much freakin money for one freakin event! geez. i say that we just all go in jeans and a shirt and that's it. seriously meng! my maximum spending for a dress it $70. remember that! please do. and i am going to buy shoes at payless. hey man! they have nice shoes there for a really cheap price. and no one will ever know that they are from there... unless you are reading this. hehe. so that's like $10-20. my hair can be done by that lady be jenelyn's house and she's pretty good and her prices are low. or i can get someone else to do it like jenelyn or sarah or someone. chris' boutonniere is not that expensive. like $10. and there's pictures! oh super! how much is that going to be? dude! i'm spending so much money! it's not like last year. my dress was $50, my hair was free, tickets were $40 and no boutonniere. pictures were like $20. that's only like $110. geez. i am spending like so much more this year. crap! i think that i am going to CRY! i am so glad that there are only one of these events per year. if there were two, i think i would die. but next year there will be two. at least i have some time to save up. ha! right. like i am really going to save up. my butt! funny stuff. this banquet better be good! if not.. HAL-LA! putang ina! but i think that it will be fun. i will make it fun. like last year. but not like last year. different fun. eyah. i'm satarassing!

quote: one. two. three. BANG!

CONGRATULATIONS PHILIP AND MICHELLE! awwww! i am so happy! i can't believe that they are together. man! they are so meant for each other. seriously. omg! i am so happy! i can't stop smiling. it was so sweet when he asked her out. omg! today was the sweetest day! man! ok. moving on. yes. i "banged" today. no. bang is not what you think it means. let's just say it has something to do with kissing. yeah. that's it. i guess. freakin! so many people were pressuring me into it. i mean it's not like i didn't want to. i just don't want to be so pressured about it. let me do it on my own. haha! but we both "made the first move" so it's ok. enough of that topic. ha! so many people think it's weird. so many people like jina and bryan. hahaha! sorry guys. try not to think about it guys. ha! well, this day is just pleasant. yes! no school tomorrow! woohoo! i am so happy! free day! peace.

quote: many things come as surprises.

HAPPY SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY! awww. thanks for the cd and the flowers. you're so sweet. (thank you for delivering them to me jenelyn.) today was surprisingly very good. i smiled a lot! =) i think we are all better now. but i still think that he is still beating himself up about it. it's not all his fault. i am to blame also. i feel bad for him. he has been having a bad week. i wish i can do something to make it all better. but i don't think that i can. boo! you know, half a year sounds longer than six months. hmm. that is interesting. well that is just my opinion. i didn't expect flowers. surprise surprise! today was probably the best day of the week. but it didn't start off so great. i feel bad. i made him sad and all worried. but i hope that he realizes what i am trying to get through to him. i really want him to open up to me. i am his girlfriend. he should be able to. seriously. ok. new subject. that "data match" that SA is doing is really odd. i want to know who i will be matched best with but i don't want to pay. that is gay! and it would suck even more if i paid and i ended up with some weird guy. haha! erin... jack. funny stuff. i bet that i won't be matched up with chris. seriously. it just doesn't work that way. this whole thing is to introduce the whole banquet thing. i hope that chris doesn't assume that i am going to go with him. i mean i want to but he has to ask. he can't just automatically assume that i am going with him just because i am his girlfriend. maybe some would disagree. but i am not his "property." i would like to be asked if it is alright with you, thank you very much! i happen to feel very stongly on this opinion of mine. i would ask him if i was the person who was asking. i mean what if they didn't want to go? what if they wanted to be asked? then what, huh? the banquet is in a little more than a month. interesting. crap! i still have to buy a dress! if i am not going with anyone, i would still go... just as long as someone with no date went with me. i mean like one of my friends. like last year. yah megan! woohoo! it was soo fun! aiya! i am going to fail the biology test. serious. i have not studied. grr. aww! chris sounds so cute when he sings "come what may." it's so adorable! achibooboo! patrick doesn't believe in love when you're in high school. i do. i mean why not? i think that real live is when you can love someone for both their good and bad traits. you accept that they are human and make mistakes and aren't perfect and they have flaws. but you still love them. you forget about those bad things and focus on the good things. because in the end, all the good things outweigh all the bad things by so much.

quote: complications arise when things seem so perfect.

aiya! so hard. today was the hardest day of my life. it was killing me not being able to talk to him. i mean i could, but it hurt to even lookt at him or even stand near him. my friends are my protection from things. after school was crap. it was not cool. i talked to him and told him what was on my mind. i told him that it was up to him now whether or not he wanted to continue this relationship. i was going to cry. i did. but i stopped while in the car. it was a good thing that i got to go out with jen, erin, and mark. thanks guys!

quote: as long as my face is face to face with your face, i can face anything. =)

i am still worrying about it! oh crap! i have to make his stupid card! well i mean it's not stupid but i don't want to make it. but i will because i care. i wish that he would just stop being negative and be more open to me. i mean i start a conversation and he only says like one or two things about it. what's wrong? does he not want to open up to me? does he think that if he does that i will not like him anymore. it's going to be six months already. shouldn't we be able to talk to each other about anything? i mean i love him and all but if he isn't going to communicate with me then what's the point of this relationship. relationships are about communication. we can't just be holding hands and hugging and that's all. you know what i mean? i can kind of empathize with rachel. soory bud about what's happening to you. but if you aren't happy with someone then you should know what to do. follow your heart. how am i going to say it? i think that i am just going to say it straight out and then get into the "details." i am just going to let him sleep on it. yeah. that's what i will do. i think that it's best for me to do that. but i am still so confused. i want to know why he doesn't open up to me. he doesn't tell me anything. he tells me some things but ergh. i can't explain. i want him to know that i am here for him and i can listen to him. he listens to me. but now it's MY turn to listen. i WANT to. only if he would let me... i really don't mind. six months and nothing. well, not all. nothing=no communication. does he even need a girlfriend right now? it's like we both have no time for each other. last year we talked soo much. we talked for like two hours whenever he called me. but now we don't even talk for 15 minutes. it's so hard! having a relationship during sophomore year is a difficult task. but i'm not saying that it is not possible. i have survived one quarter and i have managed to keep my grades up pretty high. i don't know anymore. i want it to last but that's only if he wants it to.

quote: i think i can make you happy, but only if you let me.

omg! i don't know what to do anymore! geez. i have to talk to them. it's so hard for me. seriously. i am so scared. oh! i am going to tell him on thursday. how am i supposed to do it? any suggestions? ergh! jed is annoying! but eyah! he has tape on his glasses. but whatever. it's all good. heh! but dude! ergh.

quote: yes. i like boys.

wow mommy! i haven't been on this thing for a while. yay! i did it! i am so proud of myself. grr. i was scared out of my mind! life is so freakin hard! it sucks so much! i hate biology and english. grr! bad stuff. meng! i am going to fail the stupud english test! seriously! i don't know how to study for that stupid test. i mean, how do you? is there some secret thing that you have to do to get an A in that class? oh! but i got a pretty good grade for geometry. my grade went up! i am so happy! i hope that i can get it up to at least an A-. I do, then it will be soooooo cool! i need to work harder man! ok. i hate being lied to. it really sucks. it hurts even more when you get lied to by someone that you trust and care about and you think that they would never lie to you. it's hard! man! it still hurts when its just a small thing too. it can be a little thing but still, it hurts. so please, don't lie to me. i don't want to get hurt. TV is a bad thing. it's BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD! oh well. i still like it. hey! i am getting there! i am so happy right now! i mean i am happy with him! really. i am. omg. i am getting there. really. i can't wait until i get there. i think that they are there already. briggitte said that they were OR they think that they are. but that's still closer than where i am.

quote: if i don't say that i love you, don't think that i don't love you... i'm just not ready to tell you that i do.

briggitte's quineanera was pretty fun. BRIGGITTE LOOKED SOOO BEAUTIFUL!!! omg. all of them looked pretty. yay! it was pretty cool. there was so much food. man! i got full! STRAWBERRIES! haha! funny stuff. omg. when other people were walking down the aisle and all of that other stuff, i got worried again. geez. i am such a retarded little person! it is not even funny. i can't help it. argh! i hate piano! it pisses me off! i thought that it was supposed to be fun. but my mom isn't helping! grr. i'm mad!

quote: irony can be deceiving.

ay naku! this isn't supposed to be getting to me. why is it getting to me? there is something wrong with me! i swear! it was back then. what do i have to worry about. it's just that what he said to her. i mean wow! what if that person still does. and what if that person is going to say the same thing to me as the other other person? omg! i'm stressing about this stupid thing! when she told me those things, they were funny... but it just made me think. i'm not the first. and i guess that it kind of bugs. but why? i mean ugh! am i getting jealous? wtf. aww crap. i need time to think. i need space to breathe. omg. i'm going to cry! what am i supposed to think? i mean what the other person said to the other other person before "they left from each other" is really scary. i mean the other other person has another person and so does the other person. but it's just too scary. i need a break. wait. breaks are bad. i need a break but not a real break. just a break all by myself.

quote: all guys are dogs.. just some more than others. all girls are bitches.. just some more than others.

HAPPY 5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! i really don't know what i am supposed to write. chris wrote me a letter. that is so weird! the commercials for ikea are so funny! that one with the old people who are trying to talk all ghetto and "gettin their groove on." but it's so nasty when there is this old lady and two old men are all up on her and dancing. EEEWWW! so sick! i swear! and the ikea commercials are funny! that old guy cracks me up like a cracker! heh! some guys can be real DICKS! seriously. grr. whatever. i won't let it piss me off too much today. crud! i still have to make posters! i don't want to! boo! yugi-oh is and odd show. i think that is how you spell it. isn't it? well i still watch it. hah stephanie is funny. i don't have much to write about. oh! my irony story is so funny! i have something for six months now! woohoo! since i can't buy something, then i have to make something. and i know the perfect thing. hah! sucks for chris. heh! okies. peace out.

quote: "...why do i allow myself to cry? why do i allow myself to lie? maybe i should just give up and finally say goodbye..." -say goodbye by LyTHiUM

wow! i haven't written in my blog for a while. heh. today was fun! but i am so tired. i took a nap! yay! i'm happy. dudes! i want to sleep over kris' house. grr. but i have other crap. darn it. veggie swear words are funny. lucky mark and them! they got to see joe legaspi! lucky little punks! i wanted to see him. he's so hot! haha! but eyah. you know what i think is the stupidest quote ever? "you laugh because i'm different. i laugh because you're all the same." that quote seriously pisses me off. i mean no one is totally different so don't BS with that crap. ok. that probably made no sense at all. but still. so what. i know what i'm talking about. i don't care if you don't. ha. sucks for you! yay! i get to see a hot guy on sunday!!! guess who it is. it's LANCE! woohoo! omg! i'm happy. recitals are always fun just for that reason. ha! i suck so much. i have a bF and i check out other guys. i know he checks out girls too. eh. YOGURT IS THE BEST! i love YOGURT! yummy yummy stuff. GO YOGURT! jajaja. i know i'm an odd person. crap. i have to play for the little kids on saturday. i don't even know the songs. i am so screwed! grr. playing with ice is fun! my stupid boyfriend put a crap load of ice down my back and down the front of my shirt! heh! it's getting cold. *wink* a girl should know what i'm talking about. it's pretty funny. funny funny stuff.

quote: you're hat is cute, but you're beautiful. -some 30-40 year old guy that was talking to megan. (*molester/rapist*)

911. interesting day. hot day! i can't believe that it has already been a year it doesn't seem like a year. it seems like it just happened a few months ago. but that's just how i feel. TAP testing is finally over! it kind of sucks though because i like how the schedule is. hini bale. but yeah.that was so sick what happened to megan today! that guy was checking her out! go megan! but it is pretty sick just for the fact that the guy was pretty old. if he was our age or something then it would be a compliment. it would be even better if the guy was HOT! i mean hot and our age. yah. that's what i mean. i have been so tired lately. yes! i got jed a present! i should buy that one card that i got for him for myself. yeah! i should. i will! noooo! the hallmark near school is closing! that's not cool man! where am i going to buy my cards? aiya! it's ok. i am going to start my own card company... panda productions. yay!

quote: you cannot have sexual relations with a porcupine. -some stupid law in florida

grr. TAP! i hate it so much! the only things that are good about it are that you get breaks all the time and you get to get out of class early and you don't have to go to all of your regular classes and you get an hour and ten minutes for lunch. woohoo! it's not so bad though. at least it doesn't count for a grade. omg. grand theft auto 3 is so fun! beating up people and stealing their money in that game is so fun! seriously! i just need to learn the controls. ha! i'm a weird person. there is also one other thing that is cool about TAP is that i get to spend time with "my friend." so it's all good and gravy. i need to do lab. crap! oh well. it's ok. i can do it some other time this week. i have 3 more days... i think. he said it was due by the end of this week.. i always have rachel. so yeah. i hate going to school early! there is never anything to do there. grr. i think that is all that i have to say. FILIPINO FESTIVAL WAS SO FUNNY! karate chop a guy... on the NECK! yah! too bad there were no hot guys there. but ace is cute! buy hotnsexykoala is the HOTTEST! hehe! how come the korean people don't know what the friendship bell is? it was were they filmed VR troopers. people have to remember that show! meng! whateverz. i get it now! i know why they call it a quincenera! because QUINCE! 15! yah! get it? get it? yah! i got it! woohoo!

so what do you think?

up til now i thought that i would love someone else... someone sweet... someone talented... someone i could talk to about anything... but now i found you... you are sweet... talented... someone i can talk to... and so much more than what that other person will ever be to me... but now i'm not so sure... i thought you were the one... not the one that may be with me for life... but just the one... i thought you felt the same... but i guess that was just a disguise... something to make me feel a little bit better... something to make me feel not so awkward... i thought you would never hurt me... i guess i was wrong... you don't feel the same as i do... but you fooled me into believing that you did... we are still friends... but it won't be the same... i know you meant well... but do me a favor... just say what's true instead of lying to my face... i still love you... but i know you will probably never love me... but that's ok... because out friendship will see us through...

quote: an ideal friend is someone who is there for you no matter what. but none of us have those types of friends because no one is that unselfish.

yeah. i like that quote. i made it! yay for me! today was ok. i hung out with the guys a lot! yay! it's better than some other things. damn it! i just hate how some people are! seriously. it's like they are trying to seclude you but you try so hard to believe that they are not and that they have a reason behind all that stuff. people can be maarte sometimes. i know I can be A LOT of times. but whatever. it's not all my fault. ok. i am just being maarte because what if the other people are talking about something and i don't want to bother. it's not like i need the attention. i am not maarte for the attention. i am sometimes but not all the time. i CAN be considerate too. geez. fuck! what the hell man! my mom was right! friends aren't always going to be there for you when you need them but family always will. another thing i learned was that maybe the people that you don't think are your friends are actually better friends than the ones that you have been hanging out with. whatever man! all i can do is move on with life... even if it is without those friends.

quote: confusion sucks.

i failed both the biology and geometry tests! =( i'm sad. i was so stressed. i hate being stressed. grr. i was thinking about stuff. i don't know what is happening. i feel like they are not into it. it's weird. i don't want things to "split" or anything. i just want it to be somewhat like last year. i know it won't be because we have "all" changed. it's hard though. it gets me kind of depressed to think about it. it's scary too. what am i supposed to do? am i supposed to say something? but if i do then what do i say? see! this is crap! and school isn't helping either. i think "people" would rather not be around "me" as much. and friends. i don't know anymore. it's all a big blur. BLUR! i don't get to spend much time with "anyone." it sucks because i try to but when i do i am so maarte. grr. i hate that trait! why do i have to be so damn maarte! there is something wrong with me. i swear! maybe tomorrow will be a little bit better...

quote: i ask one thing from you.. please don't take me for granted.

boo! i can't sleep over kevin's house. the weird thing is that i really don't care. i mean i want to be there and all that stuff.. but it's not a big priority of mine at the moment. but it sucks that i can't sleep over. i wanted to watch fear dot com. and those other movies. it's ok. i will just watch it some other time. dudes! i never have anything to talk about in this stupid blog! nothing good or bad ever happens to me that i actually want to write about. dang it! why do people have to be so stupid! others aren't doing anything to them but yet they do all this other stuff to piss that other person off. do you follow? eh. i don't care if you do or not. i know what i am talking about and that is all that matters to me. dang! i got mean over the summer! i have to try to be nice! GET NICER! aahh! it's so hard though! how come everyone else has stuff in their life but my life just seems to... normal. well no one's life is normal but my life just has nothing in it. i have stress. does that count? you know what really gets to me? when people say something and you can't understand it and you ask them to repeat it but then they say "oh it was nothing." that really pisses me off! i mean i do it too. i know i am a hypocrite for saying what i said but it just pisses me off to the extent to where i want to cuss them out! sorry but that is just how i feel. if you feel the same way then just tell me and i will try not to do it to you. i have no patience! seriously. people take too damn long to decide on where to eat or what to do. it is so annoying! gosh. whatever. i hide my feelings and i am pretty good at it. i don't know why. i guess i am just scared of getting hurt. it's hard to trust people. it's hard to let them get close to you. not physically but emotionally and mentally. well it is for me. i can't let people get close to me in that way. it's just to hard. but i have to learn to do that because i will have to one day. but that day hasn't come yet. at least i don't think it has. or has it? crap.

quote: there is a difference between friends and TRUE friends.

it's so boring today! i hate it! there is never anything to do during the weekends. oh well. i don't care. actually, yes i do. SOMEONE TAKE ME OUT SOMEWHERE! grr. i hate being at home and being bored! it is so annoying! grr.. that's all the crap that i have to put. peace out.

quote: somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while, so when you're alone, remember it's true: somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.

YAY! HAPPY 4 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! yeah. i got him something. (you're not a jerk.) it's so cheesy! but whatever. kevin's house was interesting. ghost of mars is such a dumb movie! swordfish is good though. but i didn't get all of it because all these people kept calling me. wtf? since when do people call me? odd. crud! i still have geometry and biology homework! grr. i don't like school. whoever invented school is ghetto. are we sleeping over kristina's house next week? hey man! my name can fit on dog tags! it's 16 including the space! geez. that's so perfect. gosh. achibooboo! tyler is so cute! awww! someone take me to morning glory! that store is tight! i bought all this stuff there. there are a lot of BLUE stuff there. ((yeah erin! BLUE! woohoo!)) oh yeah! freeway entrance makes sense now. because when you are conforming to something, you enter into a place where everyone is.. like the FREEWAY. or something like that. it's hard to explain. but yeah! but you know what got me mad? it didn't get me mad like "karla mad" but it got me mad.. how they didn't even tell me anything about the vespers that was coming up and i found out when they were already passing out the flyers. that's cheap! i am supposed to be religious-vice and i plan out stuff. but no! they didn't even ask for my help. geez. they gave me less than 24 hours to think of something. that's not cool man! but ading roach really got mad. don't mess with that chick meng. but to be honest, vespers sucked. sorry but it did. i didn't get much out of it. maybe my heart wasn't in it but whatever. i don't know.

quote: take in all the bitter and all the sweet that life has to offer.. and in the end, you will end up with more sweet.

finally! this week is almost over! yay! i get to do HTML. woohoo! what should i take next: javascript of flash? hmm. choices choices choices. crudders meng! what are we supposed to sing for vespers tomorrow? aiya. i don't even know what i am supposed to be doing for vespers tomorrow. some religious-vice i turned out to be. eh. oh dear! i have to do all this other stuff. crap! i forgot! i still have to make a poster/banner for the filipino club to present to the people in chapel tomorrow. aiya! all this stress. at least i don't have a lot of homework today. i hope that i don't have a lot of homework on friday, either. weekends are supposed to be kick back and relax time, not do homework and stress time. but i bet that we are going to have something for honors bio. geez. that class is so confusing. at least veronica knows what is going on. i feel so lost in that class.

a little bit of this and that:
naku! hindi ko alam ang ginagawa ko. walang horas na puede ako mag usap sa yong lalaki na nandoun. ang hirap naman ito. iba na. hindi ko alam kong maganda oh masama. na kakainis naman! wala naman akong horas na mag usap sa kanya. masama ba ako kasi busy ako? aiya! hindi ko na alam. parang.. ang pakiramdam ko ay... guilty.

quote: advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take. -l. kaul

today was so much better than yesterday. geez. i am totally clueless during bio. wth is he talking about? i got my cell phone today. i mean i ACTUALLY got it. yay! it's bbbbbbbbbbblllllllllllllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeee! bio is ok. i guess. i don't know what to think of it right now. i really hate being a sophomore and having to practice piano at the same time. it's a pain in the butt! i need a vacation. i had almost three months of vacation and i didn't get any time off. geez. i feel like a loser. JOIN THE FILIPINO CLUB! yay! i am PR so i have to promote this thing to the school. grr. whatever. oh dear! vespers is on friday. hmm. when is the SA beach vespers? oh yeah. september 6. yes! the beach is the best place ever! woohoo!

quote: i hate all of this!

it's the first day of school. to tell you the truth.. it sucked. well for me it did. i did not have much fun. i thought that i would have a great time seeing all of my friends and all that but no. it's not happening. but there is a good thing about this day.. I GOT A CELL PHONE! woohoo! i am soo happy! i finally get one. kristina is so happy. today was cheap. and i have lab and an officer's meeting tomorrow and all this other crap. CRAP CRAP CRAP. that is all that school is... CRAP! i never thought i would say this, but i think that my favorite class, as of now, is PE. ((i shutter to think.)) isn't that so weird. ok. i'm sick and tired of writing in this today. screw it. aren't i so positive?

quote: don't be afraid to get hurt.. because when you get hurt, that's when you experience true happiness.

i had the weirdest dream. i had a dream that i was a glendale filipino church and satan gave me a bucket of chips. he said that he never saw my heart beat so much. iw as like "wth." and all of a sudden i saw my heart appear on my chest and it was beating really hard. odd. omg! karla is a little b****. she pisses me off. i threw a tantrum because of her! she isn't doing her job at all! i had a talk with her before the play. i just told her that over the past week, i felt like she hasn't been doing her job. she told me that the kids will behave. but still! she still has to do her job. shoot! that's what i told her! and guess what? she didn't do her job! freakin A! if she told me that i wasn't doing my job, i would have said that she doesn't even know what i do and what my responsibilities are so she better not be talking. and i am doing my job and her job too. all she does is play with the kids. there is nothing wrong with that but there is a time to be serious and a time to play. geez. i seriously don't like her at all! at least now i know that i can confront someone and not just be all talk.

quote: have a raging day!

haha. today was so fun! i miss rene! he's my favorite now. he's so cute! aww. achibooboo! i got hurt in the amazon river thing. the stupid floor hurts! the kids were so good! me gusta! =) S.O.S. (save our ship). omg. that was so funny! shark shark shark! omg. all these inside jokes with those weird people. ha! dudes! what are kris and i supposed to wear for twin day? aiya!

quote: stupidity should be painful.

geez. all i wanted to do was finish my class art thingy. that's all! how am i supposed to know what to do with my craft. i don't go to crafts! grr. oh well. i can just finish it some other time.. i hope. =) rene is with group 11 and 12. i kind of miss him but not really since we don't have rotation and stuff like that. dang it! the kids piss me off! all i want them to do is pay attention to me. is that so hard to ask?!?! well maybe it is, for them, since they are little kids and their attention span isn't that big. but i don't care. PAY ATTENTION TO ME! ALL EYES ON ME! argh. but only 3 more days of practice. so it's cool.

quote: life is short-- eat the frosting first.

omg. strawberry shortcake is the coolest! i'm going to CRY! abercrombie. sheez. i spent $55 on 3 friggin abercrombie and fitch shirts. SO MUCH! it's ok kristina.. we still have abercrombie shirts. it's all good. i spent like $85 on all the stuff i bought today! so much! geez. the boba at seoul grindz is yummy! i got passion fruit. heh²! i spent so much money! i can't spend anymore money! stop me from spending money! i can't ever go shopping ever again! oh! but i have to buy AE stuff and black pants and a white shirt. haha! i am such a loser. aiite. peace out!