it's my last night at home. well, kind of. haha! i went to visit school. i didn't get to see as many people as i wanted. oh well. i finished packing. sort of. i still need to pack the little things. but overall i'm done. i think i am going to start journaling again. i bought a journal so i should use it. yeah, i don't have much to say for my last night at home. it feels good to get out. haha! i'm a horrible child.

my room is extremely messy and extremely turquoise. i am "pre-packing" or putting all the things i am going to bring to my dorm on my floor. but i do love the turquoiseness of the room. it's a break from all the white in my room. after a little pre-packing i started playing some games on orisinal.com. there is this one game in particular. it is called "the way home" and the object of the game is to jump from roof/window sill to roof/window sill and get apples while trying to get the little squirrel(?) home. i have not yet been able to bring him home safely, but i am determined!

i found myself sitting in front of my laptop and staring out of my window and at the moon. sounds kind of cliche. it seems like something that only happens in movies or books. but as i was doing that i thought about me. not in the conceited "all about me" way, but in the "finding myself" way. you know how when you take surveys and they ask things about yourself? i had a really hard time answering those questions. i never knew what to put down and even when i wrotet something down i felt like i was bsing my way through it. but in the past eight or nine months i have discovered a lot of things about myself. but along with this new found discovery i also found even more questions that i can't answer about myself. college is supposed to be the place where you find youself and make yourself an individual. am i the only one that feels like other people know me better than i know myself? it's probably because they can see how i act and they experience first hand the type of things i can do. i am lost. i want to find myself. right now i know i want to be a nurse. but what about when i actually get out there and start working? will i still want to be a nurse? i have never had the experience of actually being one and doing a nurse's job. how do i know if this is what i am meant to do? i am not sure if i want to get married or have a family of my own. most women have that maternal thing about them, but i am just not feeling it right now. am i too selfish to ever get married and have a family? can i handle all the sacrifices i have to make in order for me to have the things i want in life? i have so many questions about my future but i know that no one can answer them except for me. but i am not really scared. maybe it's because of the excitement of starting college and being independent. but will i start to freak out after all that excitement has gone away? self discovery, i'll take it as a blessing.

i miss having that funny little feeling. know what i mean? =/

don't expect me to be nice if you do something stupid. haha! =)

i'm thinking about adopting a panda. =D

sadly..

five days and counting..

i went dorm shopping with briggitte on friday. it was so much fun! we got a lot of things accomplished. our room is going to be so turquoise! we have a color scheme and everything. haha! i am really excited to move in on friday. i can finally get away from home. waah!

saturday. briggitte had her 18th birthday party. we all met up at the rainforest cafe in anaheim. byron, khaing, rachel and i were the first ones there so we made the reservations. we could not reserve tables ahead of time so we had to go early. everyone came within the one hour and thirty minutes it took us to get a table. briggitte and i wore the same shirt! it was pretty funny. we finally got to go in. i sat with brig, rachel, khaing, and sheila, and then caitlyn came later. the food was sooo good! sheila can eat! us six ordered a VOLCANO. when they came out to serve it to you, they would yell "VOL-CA-NO!" after we finished eating we headed over to the boogie. the line to just park was extremely long so we ended up going to the hotel. we were driving 60 mph and jina had about three smirnoffs. all of a sudden she sticks half of hour body out of the window. we all freaked out! she could have fallen out. it was so scary. at the hotel the security was all over us because they suspected that there were more people in the room than there should be. yeah, we had three times the maximum amount. but we pulled it off. people were giving each other butt masages. so weird. everyone hogged the bed and knocked out. khaing, sheila, briggitte, and i stayed up and talked. steph was talking in her sleep and said jina's name. then jason talked in his sleep and said steph's name. everyone was just dreaming about everyone else. jina was sleeping and all of a sudden she gets up and puts her head to the wall. it was so scary because she was not answering us. then she woke up. we talked for a while and ended up sleeping at 5 am and woke up at 8 am. we got ready to go and some of us went to eat at denny's. all of us were so tired. i got to khaing'g house and slept for two hours. then she took me home and i knocked out for another five hours. so tiring.


"rachel's mom will sue!"
jina as she sticks her chest out: look guys, i grew! [too bad she was talking about her height]
VOL-CA-NO!!
sheila: are you going to eat that?
q going clubbing
mike and the malibu
jacuzzi.
"market"
roomies/twins
why is your fly down?
pineapple and cherry seductiveness
butt masages
"emily rose"
free boobing
"HOW IS HE A BAD BOYFRIEND?!?!"
preeda
little nicky
^good times.