from "The Idler" No. 23. Saturday, 23 September 1758

Life has no pleasure higher or nobler than that of friendship. It is painful to consider that this sublime enjoyment may be impaired or destroyed by innumerable causes, and that there is no human possession of which the duration is less certain...
Those who would gladly pass their days together may be seperated by the different courses of their affairs; and the friendship, like love, is destroyed by long absence, though it may be increased by short intermissions. What we have missed long enough to want it we value more when it is regained; but that which has been lost till it is forgotten, will be found at las with little gladness, and with still less if a substitute has supplied the place...


i am so sad. this is how it is going to be during college. but this is how it is for me with some people right now. =(

i don’t care. i shall wear my heart on my sleeve. or my blog. whatever. i am tired of having feelings for someone when i know that it will and can never happen. you see them everyday and you know you shouldn’t be thinking certain things. but “some of us prefer illusion to despair.” (i like referring to bryan’s blog.) i have to stop myself from thinking that it could, might, will. NO! it won’t! i really need a slap on the face (and not from megan) so i can just stop. i know it will NEVER happen. i just want it to stop COMPLETELY. i am tired. i can’t take it anymore. i do not want to worry anymore. hearts heal, don’t they? four months of school left. maybe then... i can’t believe i am actually considering going to PUC. when i went up there i felt really comfortable. i am not usually like that. maybe i am just “coming out of my shell.” but it was so much fun! especially when it was just me and megan at the dorm. if we roomed together it would be so fun! but i do not know. day after day i am considering it more and more. i wish that i could take LSU’s nursing program and put it at PUC. then i would go there for sure! but the chance of that happening is zero. =( i will just have to choose then. this is so hard! i have a roommate for LSU already. but i love PUC. I LOVE YOU ANGWIN! haha. it is so beautiful up there. if i go to LSU i can visit bryan at PUC and we can eat at giunis. he promised. this is so hard! i really do not know what school to go to. i went to PUC college days so i could miss school. i never thought i would actually like it up there! waa! i am in a pickle. i don’t want to grow up. PUC? LSU? help.

partyboybryan87: i'm watching scrubs
xxji2z3n1ferxx: gay!
partyboybryan87: and turk and carla picked a date for their wedding
partyboybryan87: april 24th

oh yeah. we are leaving on april 24, 2005 for northern. great.

everything reminds me...

yay! i am at puc.. i am not going here for college though. but bob and ivy are. and megan might. bryan is so happy. megan's a maybe!!! jennifer's not. FISHES! CHICKEN! i felt pretty comfortable when i got here. that is pretty weird because i have never really been here for a whole 24 hours. but it was realy comfortable. bryan was scared for a while but then he was with his people (haha) he got really comfortable. it is his home. anyways... classes were really boring. i knocked out because we only got a few hours of sleep. we had to switch rooms last night. we are staying with brig's cousin and pastor chung's cousin. they are so nice! they have so much food! i love it! we went to the jelly belly factory. bryan passed on his arm pain to me while we were on the bus. we both got kind of pissed off because the people were being such big asses! damn! the tour was so boring. we were going to get ice cream but we decided to wait until northern. i do not think i am going on the tour when we go to northern. i am just going to get ice cream and hang out at the cafe. the bus ride back was better. jelly bean fights! haha... today was interesting. i never go to breakfast. but i think tomorrow we actually will. stacey knocked out durning church. my cousin came. it is his birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC! well i guess it was yesterday because it is 2 am at the moment. whee! but the highlight of my trip, so far, was the dating game! bryan and megan were one of the contestants! bryan won! he won a date with adrin.. i think that is how you spell her name. megan did not win though. it was so great! =) the tsunami releaf concert was good. there was rapping and hip hop dancing which was surprising to bryan. and now i am at the dorm. our hosts are not here. they are par-taying. haha! megan, bob, ashley, and brig are knocked out. ivy left already. i do not really know what to say now. oh! i learned some korean! i can carry a short, and i emphasize the word SHORT, conversation with bryan. yay for me! well that is all for me. peace out! =)