quote: SLUT!

last night was really weird. i was watching the movie boys and girls and i was thinking... what if chris and i broke up after high school because of distance or we are going in different directions. it sucks but i can't help thinking about it. man! this sucks! moving on.. today was a long day! i spent my whole day with kristina, mark, erin, and some with jenelyn. kristina called me today and woke me up. she told me that we were going to take pictures so i better get ready. that was so gay! we didn't even plan anything. freaking a! kristina came to my house and took a shower and we went to pick up mark and erin. we went to glendale galleria for like two hours trying to find something to wear for the pictures. it was so stupid though because what we ended up buying was at the first store that we went to. so we practically wasted an hour and a half. grr! jen was taking forever. we all got pissed off a lot. i didn't even want to wear the skirt that we were going to wear but i had no say in it since i was out numbered. oh well. we were taking pictures because it was a favor for mark. he wanted to take pictures with the girls so we went. he wanted to look like a pimp or whatever. so stupid! out outfits were so slutty! we wore wife beaters and black catholic school girl skirts. they were so short! they reminded me of the grouP ta-tu. eeww! the skirt was so short on me. if i bent over even just little you can see my underwear. yup. great day for wearing pink underwear. and i wore a blue bra so i had to wear two wife beaters so that you couldn't see it. gah! we saw a shirt at windsors that said "frankie says relax" just like in friends. cool! we got to expose. it was so hot in kristina's car because her AC doesn't work. it was literally 108 degrees in her car! so hot! we took the pictures. some of the poses that i had were hard and made my hand or foot fall asleep. nice. i felt like such a slut. i had to sag the skirt a little so my underwear wouldn't show as much. but then you could see part of my underwear at the top. kristina took a picture. gah! but we are going to return the skirts that we got because it's $20 for that little skirt and we only bought it for the pictures. haha! we are so gay! that's ok. we are cool like that. they made fun of my boobs and butt! not nice. we finally got the pictures over with! we got subway! woohoo! yummy! i got steak and cheese. =) we went to alhambra for some reason and back to my house and played scrabble for like two hours. yup. i was out all day! yay! chris is back from PUC! ok. that was my day. it was freaking long! maybe because it was hot and we all pissed each other off. haha! i love my friends. =)

quote: packing is fun!

yay! i got to see megan today.. hi megan! yeah. she came to my church. she goes to my church like every summer. why? i don't know. today i got something in the mail. it was quite interesting. i have to apply for this thing and write a biography about myself. then i might get a scholarship ranging from $1000 to $16000. wow! that's so cool! i hope i get it so that my parents get some help paying for my college. man! freaking A! i want to go to a non-christian college. if you can't accept that then forget you! i just won't go to college. and if you think that sending me off to the philippines to go to college is going to work, then forget about it! it's my life! i have already made my decision! no fuck off and leave me the hell alone! i made my choice. if i have to pay for the college that i want to go to myself, so be it. but i am not going to some damn in the middle of nowhere school like la sierra, PUC or walla walla. i won't even go to stupid loma linda! screw those colleges. i know what i want and i don't care if you support me or not. so just FUCK OFF!

quote: it's happening as expected...

it's been a pretty boring week. i am going to school to register for school tomorrow. i hope i get the classes and the locker that i want. i finally made up my mind. i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin during 6th period instead of TAing for pastor chung during 7th period.. i think. this is so hard! i don't really know why. it just is for me. but i am pretty sure i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin. it just seems better. aah! junior year is going to be cool! but then again, other parts of junior year may not be as grand. it's happening. right now. it is starting. it has begun. more fights. more arguments. more disagreements. aaah.. great times. by the end of junior year we will be so different. we are going to drift. DRIFT I TELL YOU! it is going to be bitter. we won't talk a lot. the only times that we are going to talk are at lunch and maybe after school. and on the phone... but not every day. i know it's not going to be every day. there is just no way. but whatever. i must prepare myself for how things are going to be. but no amount of preperation will ever prepare me for what is going to happen. if it doesn't turn out this way, i will be very surprised. we aren't going to be as close as we are. i don't think we will be getting any closer. the fights are going to be horrible! i will cry. he will cry. we will both cry. we will never go out because i can't or he can't. but then again, that's how it is now. but i am fine with that. i don't really care much about going out. but i care a lot about talking. at most we will talk for two hours. but that's only on occasion. it's really sad. but i guess it had to happen some time. moving on... briggitte found this pretty place for junior senior! omg! i was going to cry when i saw it! it's so pretty! i am so excited to plan the banquet. it will be so cool! haha! we have an officers meeting on friday. great. at least i get to get out of the house for a few hours. it's better than staying at home. that's all for now.. bye.

quote: i am so bored.

i think i have a sleeping problem. i can never go to sleep. well i can but it's really hard. is it because i sleep too much? i don't know. i go to sleep at around 4 am or something like that. but i want to sleep earlier but i can't. i want to go to school so that i can sleep normally. i got to see chris on friday. that's so cool! he's back from san diego! yay! i am going to cancun after graduation. we are going on a cruise. that's so cool! it is going to be a graduation present from my parents. i am going with some of my friends. but they are paying for themselves. i am not paying for them. yeah right. wow! i know the answer to the riddle: "Angry and hungry are two words that end in '-gry'. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it everyday. Look closely and I have already given you the third word." but it's so gay! but whatever. not many people get it. well at least i don't think so. i watched the fireworks from the rose bowl on friday. we went up to a friends house. they are still building their house though. $700,000 for the land and $1.3 million for the house. that's so crazy! but it's so hard to get up to their house! it's like you're going to fall. haha! well it was fun there. that's all i have to say for now. see yah! bye!

quote: i blog. do you?

my bad. i haven't blogged in a while, wouldn't you say so? but that's fine. no one needs to know about my daily life. it's none of your business anyway. haha! i'm just kidding. my family from florida came this week. it has been no stop laughter! my cousins are so funny! my ate sharon showed us this really funny website. i would tell you what it is but i want to keep it all to myself. but it's really funny! it's with flash and it's so cool! but anyway... i went to loma linda yesterday. it was freaking hot!!! geez. how do people live there? it's in the middle of nowhere and the weather is insane!! oh well. never eat at a place called bamboo garden. it's not very good. yah. i was watching that one TV show called "meet my folks" and it was really funny. guys are so stupid! but that's fine. i just hope that i will never fall for a guy like that. haha! ok. i don't know what else to tell you guys. my summer has been very boring except for the last week. ok. peace out. =P

quote: dedicated to RaCheL DaWa! =)

look rachel! i'm blogging! just for you! don't you feel so special?!?! huh! huh! don't ya?! yeah. my day was good. but we have a biology test tomorrow and a spanish test. crap.. oh well. i am going to try not to stress out about it too much. i mean, it's the end of the year. it's about time that i do. i can't believe that sophomore year is almost over. only 7 more school days left. wow! that's a week. and three of those days are only finals. NOOOOOOO! and the seniors are going to graduate. it's going to be weird without them. and we are going to be UPPER CLASSMEN! aaaaahhhh! that's so cool. we can acutally beat people up now... not that i would. i'm nice to the freshmen. really. i won't be missing school too much during the summer. at least i can see chris since he can drive and all. yay-a! mojo can drive! yep yep! i hope that i can see the girls during the summer though. LET'S TAKE PICTURES! yah! for sure this time. no of that "i can't come" or "tkt is closed" or "i have no ride" crap. it's the summer meng! you gotta take pictures with the ladieeez! it's only right. anyway.. moving on.. OPEN YOUR EYES! damn it. even though it's not my problem.. OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES! spend time with her and not it... and spend time with him and not them. omg! is that so hard to follow? honestly! putang ina! ok. that's all rachel. i think i will go now, k. peace out.

quote: one word: AMAZING!

BEACH DAY! woot woot! it was SA's beach picnic thing. i got to spend time with chris! yay! freaking briggitte, sheila, and jina threw me in the water and chris didn't even help me! i swallowed some water though. it was acutally very funny! chris is the hardest person to throw in the water. people should really spend time with their special someone if they are going to be with them. if you choose an object over them then maybe you aren't ready to have a special someone. and i do believe that people need and want attention from their special someone. you can't have a relationship if you don't spend time together. even just talking. is that so hard to do? seriously! but aside from that, today was great! i can't believe i lost in big two. that's crap! so i will lose next time. but it will is all worked out. we have a plan to even it out. ok. i think i will go now. peace out.

quote: i'm a campaign manager.. wow!

jed has a blog? since when? hmm... quite intersting. omg. jed makes me so confused! strongbad? star runner? what is this? yay! i got PR! i am happy. but i feel so bad for winning. ok. i don't want to be like jed and write a buttload on my blog. so long! =)

quote: lizards are scary!

jed is stupid! he tried to hit me with paper. squirt smells like andrew.. or andrew smells like squirt. lizards are weird. ok.

quote: you are an idiot! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

i'm blogging because chris needs something to read. haha! i love you babe! i can't spell hassle. so what?!? andrew is the stupidest guy i know. seriously. he tried to serenade me with an eminem song. but it was the nice part. haha! ok. maybe you had to be there. but whatever. today kind of sucked. but it relieved my mind off of the speaker for the vespers! thank you so much jed! seriously! i couldn't do it without you! but still. today sucked! foshizo! MY KIZZER! i didn't get to do something that i really wanted to do today. stupid coach! it was planned and everything. piece of crap! squirt is so cute! i don't understand why chris doesn't want to kiss him. but that's ok. we had a stpid officers meeting today. i really hate those. i am not sure if i want to run for an office next year. it's kind of yeah. but i think that i will. if i make it then that's great. if i don't then i'm cool with that. ok. sorry chris! i can't think of anything else to write. oh! christopher sungtae ha is the hottest and sexiest person ever! bye! =)

quote: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

first, BIG SUR WAS FUN! ok. that's all i'm going to say. now... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? oh my gosh! what is going on? if you are going to have a relationship with someone, make sure it's ONLY WITH THAT ONE PERSON! don't make it seem like you like someone else. i understand that people like to spend time with other people. but you don't have to be all up on them and touchy feely. tsk tsk! why are people like that?
geez. friends are so complicated. MY KIZZER! why you gotta have competition, huh? it's just seems so wrong. oh well! they can't work it out themselves.
what is the point of long term relationships while you are still in high school? isn't it the time in our lives where we should have a lot of bFs/gFs so that we know what we want in a guy. i know that if you have someone and are pretty sure you are satisfied with them then you want to stay with them. but what if you leave that person and go "explore" other things and you find something better? then what? see. i don't know anymore. i'm not saying i want to stop the relationship that i have but i just want someone to answer my question. no one seems to know that answer and it really bugs. aren't we supposed to be exploring new things and not just settle for what you have now? it's so complicated! does anyone know what the point of long term relationships are? anyone?

quote: i think we're going to break up soon.

I'M GETTING FISH! i think that i will name them boba and bubbles. yah. that sounds about right. ok. back to my day. it was crap! i went to the mall and my mom just pissed me off so bad! i hate going shopping with her. i saw the panda and koala shirts at american eagle but she wouldn't let me get it! that's so gay! they are like the coolest shirts ever! UGH! anyway. back to the real reason to why i am blogging. i think that chris and i are going to break up some time soon. i can't take it anymore! we fight so much and it's not just one thing. it is a collection of all these different things that have collected over time. i just can't take all this getting mad. but then again that part is my fault. i don't understand why he puts up with it. he says it's because he loves me and he cares and he doesn't know how he could live without me. but i think that we are better off seperated. i just want to give up! i'm so tired of feeling like my heart is being torn. if we broke up we would eventually get over each other even if it took a long time. i don't want to give up the best thing that happened to me. but now, it's just getting to be so horrible. we have drifted apart so much. and with summer coming we are going to drift apart even more. I HATE THIS!

quote: eeewwww. gross!

superficial people are so gay! i was watching that one show "are you hot?" oh my goodness. it's so stupid! it's a bunch of people that are judging you by the way they look. it's so stupid! ugh. whatever. i don't care anymore! T.A.T.U. is a weird band. they are lesbians! why do they have to make out in their music video. i hate it when people are shooting a video and they are making out and they go in for a close up. i mean come on! we don't need to see what's going on up in there!!! their tongues are everywhere! it's so gross! is it really necessary for them to do that? honestly! hey! junior senior banquet is tomorrow. i get to serve stuff. heh! BLAH!

quote: we're on a break.

i would have to say that the past week was the crappiest week ever! i caused so much trouble between chris and i. i must be the most stupid person ever. look where we are now. it sucks so much! i can't even describe how i feel right now. why am i so retarded? i feel like crap! CRAP! this spring break is going to suck. wow! i has been a year since i told him that i liked him. i can't believe it! last spring break i talked to him like everyday of the week. this spring break when we are acutally together, we aren't even talking. this sucks.

quote: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I'M SO SCREWED!

the past to days were crap! yesterday, my parents got my grades. i got a bad grade in spanish because stupid ms. gordon only put on 3 entries for our grades. so it looks like im stupid. man! i cried so much! this morning, my eyes were all puffy and stuff. school was ok. we had the surprise thing for joanna today. it went well. everything was going ok. i was going to get shaved ice and everything.. then chris called. he tells me that snyder just got off the phone with my mom because she asked about my grade. he told her that there might me a distraction and that i have a boyfriend. crap. and it all went south from there. i asked teo if he could run me over with his car. i would rather die than face my parents. but eventually i had to. i walked in and my dad was like, "hey! how's the boyfriends?" geez. they gave me a lecture and all that gibberish. i cried like a mother! oh well! they want me to sit away from chris and break up with him. the sit away part i will do. but i'm not breaking up with him. screw that!

quote: kick away the need... DANG IT! kick it away!

it is such a sad yet joyous day for me. today, my "baby" commit suicide. rachel was throwing it to me. but i was not aware. it was all so sudden. i saw something fly. i asked rachel if it was my beloved "baby," my eraser. she nodded. i tried to look for it under the tables during biology. no where. yes. no where to be found. i thought it was under the front table. i was mistakened. the last time i saw my beloved was when it jumped off of my backpack. i ask, "why? why leave me now?" yes i knew that it was bound to happen some day. but i was hoping that it would die and not commit suicide or get kidnapped or lost. i hoped that it would die like a normal and natural death, by being used up by all the erasing that it has to do. but no. it died a tragic death. i mourn for the loss of my beloved eraser by being hyper and happy on the outside. but truely, on the inside, i am in pain. in pain because my "baby" is gone. forever. but wait. it may not be. it may still be alive. it may still be in mr snyder's room. there, on the floor, waiting for me to come and bring it home. but that is just a maybe. a small maybe. it is a maybe hanging by a small thread. after a while, if i do not find "my baby" i will eventually end my mourning. but do not fret. i have a new eraser in my life. rachel gave it to me for my birthday. i was planning on using it when "my baby" was gone. and i guess, i guess now is the time for me to use it. i did not name "my baby" before. but i will now. my new one is called DAVE. yes. DAVE. i plan to have many joyous times with dave. he is good to me. people say he is better than "my baby," but i beg to differ. "my baby" was with me ever since third grade. we have been through so much. i will keep those memories in my heart forever. "my baby" R.I.P. remember, i bought you in chinatown for $1. i hope you are happy in your "eraser heaven." it is a good place. no more rubbing on paper or desks. just a calm and peaceful environment. GOOD-BYE "MY BABY"... HELLO DAVE.

quote: *sigh* the bitter and the sweet... what can i say... i just have more sweet.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! my valentines day was excellent and dee-lite-fool. woot woot! i have a valentine and YOU don't. it's ok. don't fret. it's all good. i got two message in a balloon. not one. but TWO! but chris only meant to get me one. they accidentally gave me two. oh well. more candy for me! heeh! ok. i can't tell you much or else you guys will hit me or something. but i will tell you this.. I HAVE SPIDE SENSE!

quote: woohoo! it's my birthday! sweet 16!

today was acutally more than just ok. it was excellent! yah! i was pretty mad at first because i didn't want people knowing about my birthday. but oh well. freaking michelle, chris, rachel, and veronica! man! piss me off! it got better as the day went by. i was so hyper today! yeah! LET'S DANCE! ha ha ha! poor chris. he seemed so sad/mad today. but that all went away. stupid ms. gordon. but thanks to her trusty helpers in the balloon committee, i got my balloons from chris. wow! i actually got balloons! it was so embarrassing getting them at LAB though. that was the last class that i would think they would sing happy birthday to me. no seriously. even snyder sang. hmm... weird. the rest of the day went by great! chris got my flowers! OMG! that is sooo sweet! i can't believe that he actually got that for me! awww! i went to japanese village with jen and mark. we ate mexican food. WOW! soo YUMMY! i ate mango mochi and kona coffee mochi! yay! i got stars to make for "people." tee hee! we had this complicated plan on how to get the flowers into my house. haha! A HOOT! ok. that's all. happy birthday to me! wee!

quote: chicago!

yay! i gotto see him 3 times! woot woot! 3 times is a lot compared to other times. hahaha! we're funny. crack me up funny! i can't wait until tuesday. actually, i can't wait until friday because i get my frap ad nM&Ms! YAY! food. i'm going to win a bet and i'm happy. vacation is crap. i'm bored! someone take me somewhere! i'm mad a vince! he took erin to the loft but he didn't take me. i get to go there twice now! TWICE! sucka! hey! we should have a joint party! come on! we are going to turn 16 and we should have lots and lots of fun! yeah! we can go to todai and then have a party at kevin's. because of course we can't have it at my house or at erin's house. yah kevin's house! woot squared!

quote: megan is in the philippines. i'm so jealous!

aiya! i was so bored today! i didn't even want to go to that 50th anniversary thing. i don't even know those people! they seem so stuck up. eh. stupid high class filipinos. anyway. it was boring. do people expect for me to go with them somewhere when they don't even tell me? i mean seriously. do you people think that i know what's going on when you don't tell me crap!?!? my gosh! you know what, you guys can just do whatever you want. i will just stay here and do my own thing because what you guys are doing is really pissing me off. it may be a stupid thing to be upset about but that's how it is for me. damn it. i give up. it doesn't really matter to me anymore. i don't want to be a part of this whole thing anymore. it just gets me more and more angry. ::subject warp:: megan is gone! nooo! this sucks. i don't get to talk to her for like forever! at least i get some stuff from the philippines that i actually like. the only things that i get from the philippines is that mango/tamarind stuff. it's pretty good though but i keep getting those stuff. and all the other stuff is getting old. yay! i get stuff. oh crap! i have to go christmas shopping. eh. there's aren't many people to buy for so it's ok. feelings: sad, mad, upset, blah, happy, bored.