It has been some time since I've blogged anything, but I have things on my mind that I feel I need to express.
I recently lost someone who meant a great deal to me.
Auntie Connie has always been a constant in my life, and we have gone closer over the years. Unfortunately, we lost her to her battle to cancer. During the funeral I was the only cousin who did not say anything. She did not have any kids of her own, but we all felt like we were one of hers. I didn't want to say anything during the funeral because I am generally bad with expressing my feelings, especially when dealing with loss. Through my mourning period, I have had time to think of what I would have said if I were to have gone up there.
"Over the last several years Auntie Connie and I developed a special bond. When Auntie was sick, there were always a lot of visitors around. I would usually be there in the background trying to blend in. But the day before she passed away I went to visit her. My mom, Auntie Fel or one of Auntie Connie's friends would usually be there keeping her company. But on this day it was just her and me. I always found it easier to talk to her when it was just us two. She was very tired and would fall in and out of sleep as I sat there holding her hand. Before I left, she woke up just long enough for me to tell her "I love you." She whispered, "I love you too, Naning." I asked her if she was tired, and she said yes. I told her to get some sleep and that I'd see her tomorrow. Unfortunately that was the last time I talked to her. But I thank God everyday that those were the last words I got to say to her, and that we were able to have that time alone together. I'll miss you, Auntie Connie. We'll see you in the morning."
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