quote: megan is in the philippines. i'm so jealous!

aiya! i was so bored today! i didn't even want to go to that 50th anniversary thing. i don't even know those people! they seem so stuck up. eh. stupid high class filipinos. anyway. it was boring. do people expect for me to go with them somewhere when they don't even tell me? i mean seriously. do you people think that i know what's going on when you don't tell me crap!?!? my gosh! you know what, you guys can just do whatever you want. i will just stay here and do my own thing because what you guys are doing is really pissing me off. it may be a stupid thing to be upset about but that's how it is for me. damn it. i give up. it doesn't really matter to me anymore. i don't want to be a part of this whole thing anymore. it just gets me more and more angry. ::subject warp:: megan is gone! nooo! this sucks. i don't get to talk to her for like forever! at least i get some stuff from the philippines that i actually like. the only things that i get from the philippines is that mango/tamarind stuff. it's pretty good though but i keep getting those stuff. and all the other stuff is getting old. yay! i get stuff. oh crap! i have to go christmas shopping. eh. there's aren't many people to buy for so it's ok. feelings: sad, mad, upset, blah, happy, bored.

quote: omg. who cares about cliques!

omg! it pisses me off. people think that they are the only ones that do anything. well guess what... YOU'RE NOT! geez. people do things too. and you know what? i don't like you in that position! grr. i never wanted you there! and stop talking about cliques. GET OVER IT! it's not loke you're not in one. and it's not like you are doing anything about it anyway. so don't be a hypocrite and tell us what to do when you aren't doing it either. stupid person! piss me off...

quote: bible videos... sigh.

wow mama! i haven't blogged in a while. sorry megan. the banquet was fun! =) i had tons of fun. the bus ride was the best. it always is. but this year was special... hehe. i LOVED sunday night. it was the best! for real. i think that we sang pretty well. don't you agree? well that's just my opinion so you don't have to take it. lilo & stitch was so cool! freakin chris! he practically memorizes the whole movie. loser butt! but i still love you. omg. the christmas banquet was a wonderful night. or should i say excellent and delightful. ha ha ha! i crack myself up. gee gosh! they didn't even have any stupid cockroaches at that stupid yacht club or however you spell it. ergh. people have to start appreciating cockraoches. hmm yes. anyway, off the topic of the banquet... THE BIBLE PROJECT!!! so much work to do. i mean we are already done but it was just so stressful. my goodness. i will never do that again this sophomore year. seriously. i won't. i will just stick with book reports and some of the other things that we can do for bible projects. i am not up for the type of stress in the near future. but it was really funny when we were filming. freaking bob! it took him forever just to get the one line down. but it was funny. this week pooped me out. ha ha ha! funny word. but at least i got to have some fun today. so it's ok. i'm tired. time for ZzZzz. payce... (funny work)

quote: megan hates me... well she used to. wow! everyone hates everyone. what a lovely world.

DAMN YOU, SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE!

yo! what's up g dawg? erh? holy mother... i haven't blogged in a long time. eh. it's not like anyone reads this. except for danny. geez. people are bored... hahaha! it's so cold in my house. it is usually normal temp. hmm.... in-ter-es-ting. we are never going to go to SANTA MONICA. sorry. that was probably my bad. YAY! christmas banquet is going to be so cool! i am so happy! it will be fun! only four more days until the big day. dang. it sounds like i'm getting married.. "the big day..." but that won't be happening in another ten years or so. so it's ok. i finally got shoes to go with my dress. they are ok shoes, i guess. but they make me four to five inches taller. woow! at least i can be closer to chris' height than i am now. i mean the difference between us is ten to eleven inches. TEN TO ELEVEN FREAKING INCHES! that's almost oen whole foot! that's what i get for being short and going out with a tall korean boy. it's ok. by then end of this whole banquet thing, i will have spent about $120. that's not bad. i guess. shoes were more expensive than i wanted them to be. but it's ok. i can live with it. oh my freaking gosh! what happened to me today was weird. i was walking with my dad at santa anita mall. we were done buying my shoes and we were going to leave. this lady stops us and tells my dad that she was looking at me and thinks that i'm "so cute." ok...? then she starts talking to me about acting, commercials, modeling, and pictures. i was like, "what the...?" i tried making up excuses to get out of it but she would turn the tables on me. like for instance, i said that i was shy. (LIES!) and she said that they are doing this so they could get rid of my shyness. damn it. my dad said that it was up to me. i really didn't want to do it so i just turned her down. it was so weird. i find it funny. i am not into that modeling stuff. and besides, why do i have to do it? i already have people that care about me and love me just the way i am. sorry. but i am not superficial. i'm not like some people. geez. and when she was talking about all that stuff that she had to offer i was thinking, "you MUST be those fake people that try to rip people off by telling them that they are meant to be all that stuff because why would you pick ME out of all the people in the mall?" seroiusly. but eh, whatever. i bet she just picked random people and stopped them when they passed by. she even made me smile and turn my head to a certain angle. weirdo. ok. it was a funny experience though.

quote:i don't have one. eh...

i'm so bored. stupid vacation. as of now, i have absolutely no feelings for anything or anyone. i am totally numb. maybe it's because i am really tired. hmm. i don't know. whatever. it kind of sucks to feel this way. it's like i don't care about anyone or anything. ha! funny. carefree! woop ti woop. but theh, once in a while, i feel fear. eh. too lazy to type. peace out.

quote: I HATE JED DE LA PAZ! (piss me off, man! piss me off!)

it was such a fun day! yeah! filipino club outing! omg. the flip side cracked me up! seriously! you're a coconut! or are you a rotten banana? hmm... omg. it was so funny! omg! max made my day. no. max is not a person. it is a restaurant. it has really good food! i got tapsilog! YUMMY! man. megan should have gotten something to eat. i could tell that she really wanted some of my delicious food. the restroom incident: we went into the restroom and i need to go really bad. i tried to open one of the doors but something seemed to be pushing on it really hard. i was like "what the..." and i pushed harder. then i saw part of a ladies shirt in there. i was like "oh crap!" i ran in the other restroom. megan and i were laughing so hard! i couldn't go to the restroom because i was laughing so hard and i was standing. and it i tried to, i would pee in my pants. if that's too much info for you, then that's too bad! ok. omg. then, i was washing my hands, then the lady was going to come out of the restroom. i was so scared! megan told me to go. so i ran out if the restroom. oh man! scary stuff! ok. it was really funny! i couldn't stop laughing. HAHAHA! that made my day! it was just so funny! man! why do we have to give tip to people. geez. food is good. ooh. eeeww! vince kissed me on the cheek! GROSS! it was a friendly kiss but still GROSS! stupid dork! but i guess that we are even now. oh! i bought two AE shirts! yay! i like them both. but jed and megan like the fish one better. hmm. IT'S A SIGN! haha! omg! freaking jed! he was messing with my mind for one hour and twenty five minutes! geez. ok. for the first few minutes it's ok. it's not so bad. but after about an hour and twenty five minutes of it, you start to get a little agitated. just a little. OMG! i was so pissed off! he lied about how he was soo much! half filipino half hawaiian. wtf is that?!?! 9th grader that chris doesn't know. wtf! i hate you jed! seriously. i was getting so mad! stupid dork!

quote: stay what you are.

meng! parents piss me off! i hate living up to their stupid expectations and their stupid crap. lectures... lectures... and more lectures. aiya. whatever. i think that we did well today. but we only had one stupid mike and we weren't loud enough. GRRR! oh well. it's over now so we can't do anything about it. hindi bali. yay! filipino club outing! i am so happy. oh man! i have to take a flyer for it. crazy! i am going to have so much fun there! yeah! go FLIP SIDE! i really want to watch that movie. it seems really good and funny and all that other stuff that goes witha filipino movie. haha! man! i screwed up so much! i am so sorry! i shouldn't have even done what i did. it was so stupid! I AM SOOOO SUPER SORRY!!! i am the worst person ever. I LOVE YOU! crap! i still have to buy a banquet dress. i need to LOOK for one. geez. i am such a dork. i have one in mind but i know that i am not going to get it. freakin $129. crud! so much stupid money just for one WINDSOR dress. stupid windsor! they are so expensive. i am just going to go to the one on vally. seriously. it seems so much cheaper. well most places are cheaper than windsor. i don't understand why windsor is so expensive. it's just the brand. aiya! who cares about the stupid brand. MONEY! hello! are people that shallow? i'm not saying that if you buy a dress at windsor, then you are shallow. i have gotten a dress from there before. but i mean, people that but things for the brand. that's who is shallow. i mean seriously. expensive stuff isn't always the best. but sometimes i can be impulsive and go against what i am saying right now. but everyone is guilty of that. so eyah. ok. what do i have to spend for the banquet? dress, shoes, hair, boutonniere, and half of pictures. that's not too bad. it's still more than $100. but if it's $100 or less, i will be soo happy! you don't even understand. i am so low on cash. and i still have to think of where i am going to go for A.A.W. mother humper! chorale people don't have to go through this! aiya! but at least we have a choice of where we want to go. haha! suckers. but we are all suckers, so whatever. awww. *SUCKERS FOREVER*

quote: come what may...

today was eh. omg. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE CHRISTMAS BANQUET ANYMORE! so much freakin money for one freakin event! geez. i say that we just all go in jeans and a shirt and that's it. seriously meng! my maximum spending for a dress it $70. remember that! please do. and i am going to buy shoes at payless. hey man! they have nice shoes there for a really cheap price. and no one will ever know that they are from there... unless you are reading this. hehe. so that's like $10-20. my hair can be done by that lady be jenelyn's house and she's pretty good and her prices are low. or i can get someone else to do it like jenelyn or sarah or someone. chris' boutonniere is not that expensive. like $10. and there's pictures! oh super! how much is that going to be? dude! i'm spending so much money! it's not like last year. my dress was $50, my hair was free, tickets were $40 and no boutonniere. pictures were like $20. that's only like $110. geez. i am spending like so much more this year. crap! i think that i am going to CRY! i am so glad that there are only one of these events per year. if there were two, i think i would die. but next year there will be two. at least i have some time to save up. ha! right. like i am really going to save up. my butt! funny stuff. this banquet better be good! if not.. HAL-LA! putang ina! but i think that it will be fun. i will make it fun. like last year. but not like last year. different fun. eyah. i'm satarassing!

quote: one. two. three. BANG!

CONGRATULATIONS PHILIP AND MICHELLE! awwww! i am so happy! i can't believe that they are together. man! they are so meant for each other. seriously. omg! i am so happy! i can't stop smiling. it was so sweet when he asked her out. omg! today was the sweetest day! man! ok. moving on. yes. i "banged" today. no. bang is not what you think it means. let's just say it has something to do with kissing. yeah. that's it. i guess. freakin! so many people were pressuring me into it. i mean it's not like i didn't want to. i just don't want to be so pressured about it. let me do it on my own. haha! but we both "made the first move" so it's ok. enough of that topic. ha! so many people think it's weird. so many people like jina and bryan. hahaha! sorry guys. try not to think about it guys. ha! well, this day is just pleasant. yes! no school tomorrow! woohoo! i am so happy! free day! peace.

quote: many things come as surprises.

HAPPY SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY! awww. thanks for the cd and the flowers. you're so sweet. (thank you for delivering them to me jenelyn.) today was surprisingly very good. i smiled a lot! =) i think we are all better now. but i still think that he is still beating himself up about it. it's not all his fault. i am to blame also. i feel bad for him. he has been having a bad week. i wish i can do something to make it all better. but i don't think that i can. boo! you know, half a year sounds longer than six months. hmm. that is interesting. well that is just my opinion. i didn't expect flowers. surprise surprise! today was probably the best day of the week. but it didn't start off so great. i feel bad. i made him sad and all worried. but i hope that he realizes what i am trying to get through to him. i really want him to open up to me. i am his girlfriend. he should be able to. seriously. ok. new subject. that "data match" that SA is doing is really odd. i want to know who i will be matched best with but i don't want to pay. that is gay! and it would suck even more if i paid and i ended up with some weird guy. haha! erin... jack. funny stuff. i bet that i won't be matched up with chris. seriously. it just doesn't work that way. this whole thing is to introduce the whole banquet thing. i hope that chris doesn't assume that i am going to go with him. i mean i want to but he has to ask. he can't just automatically assume that i am going with him just because i am his girlfriend. maybe some would disagree. but i am not his "property." i would like to be asked if it is alright with you, thank you very much! i happen to feel very stongly on this opinion of mine. i would ask him if i was the person who was asking. i mean what if they didn't want to go? what if they wanted to be asked? then what, huh? the banquet is in a little more than a month. interesting. crap! i still have to buy a dress! if i am not going with anyone, i would still go... just as long as someone with no date went with me. i mean like one of my friends. like last year. yah megan! woohoo! it was soo fun! aiya! i am going to fail the biology test. serious. i have not studied. grr. aww! chris sounds so cute when he sings "come what may." it's so adorable! achibooboo! patrick doesn't believe in love when you're in high school. i do. i mean why not? i think that real live is when you can love someone for both their good and bad traits. you accept that they are human and make mistakes and aren't perfect and they have flaws. but you still love them. you forget about those bad things and focus on the good things. because in the end, all the good things outweigh all the bad things by so much.

quote: complications arise when things seem so perfect.

aiya! so hard. today was the hardest day of my life. it was killing me not being able to talk to him. i mean i could, but it hurt to even lookt at him or even stand near him. my friends are my protection from things. after school was crap. it was not cool. i talked to him and told him what was on my mind. i told him that it was up to him now whether or not he wanted to continue this relationship. i was going to cry. i did. but i stopped while in the car. it was a good thing that i got to go out with jen, erin, and mark. thanks guys!

quote: as long as my face is face to face with your face, i can face anything. =)

i am still worrying about it! oh crap! i have to make his stupid card! well i mean it's not stupid but i don't want to make it. but i will because i care. i wish that he would just stop being negative and be more open to me. i mean i start a conversation and he only says like one or two things about it. what's wrong? does he not want to open up to me? does he think that if he does that i will not like him anymore. it's going to be six months already. shouldn't we be able to talk to each other about anything? i mean i love him and all but if he isn't going to communicate with me then what's the point of this relationship. relationships are about communication. we can't just be holding hands and hugging and that's all. you know what i mean? i can kind of empathize with rachel. soory bud about what's happening to you. but if you aren't happy with someone then you should know what to do. follow your heart. how am i going to say it? i think that i am just going to say it straight out and then get into the "details." i am just going to let him sleep on it. yeah. that's what i will do. i think that it's best for me to do that. but i am still so confused. i want to know why he doesn't open up to me. he doesn't tell me anything. he tells me some things but ergh. i can't explain. i want him to know that i am here for him and i can listen to him. he listens to me. but now it's MY turn to listen. i WANT to. only if he would let me... i really don't mind. six months and nothing. well, not all. nothing=no communication. does he even need a girlfriend right now? it's like we both have no time for each other. last year we talked soo much. we talked for like two hours whenever he called me. but now we don't even talk for 15 minutes. it's so hard! having a relationship during sophomore year is a difficult task. but i'm not saying that it is not possible. i have survived one quarter and i have managed to keep my grades up pretty high. i don't know anymore. i want it to last but that's only if he wants it to.

quote: i think i can make you happy, but only if you let me.

omg! i don't know what to do anymore! geez. i have to talk to them. it's so hard for me. seriously. i am so scared. oh! i am going to tell him on thursday. how am i supposed to do it? any suggestions? ergh! jed is annoying! but eyah! he has tape on his glasses. but whatever. it's all good. heh! but dude! ergh.

quote: yes. i like boys.

wow mommy! i haven't been on this thing for a while. yay! i did it! i am so proud of myself. grr. i was scared out of my mind! life is so freakin hard! it sucks so much! i hate biology and english. grr! bad stuff. meng! i am going to fail the stupud english test! seriously! i don't know how to study for that stupid test. i mean, how do you? is there some secret thing that you have to do to get an A in that class? oh! but i got a pretty good grade for geometry. my grade went up! i am so happy! i hope that i can get it up to at least an A-. I do, then it will be soooooo cool! i need to work harder man! ok. i hate being lied to. it really sucks. it hurts even more when you get lied to by someone that you trust and care about and you think that they would never lie to you. it's hard! man! it still hurts when its just a small thing too. it can be a little thing but still, it hurts. so please, don't lie to me. i don't want to get hurt. TV is a bad thing. it's BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD! oh well. i still like it. hey! i am getting there! i am so happy right now! i mean i am happy with him! really. i am. omg. i am getting there. really. i can't wait until i get there. i think that they are there already. briggitte said that they were OR they think that they are. but that's still closer than where i am.

quote: if i don't say that i love you, don't think that i don't love you... i'm just not ready to tell you that i do.

briggitte's quineanera was pretty fun. BRIGGITTE LOOKED SOOO BEAUTIFUL!!! omg. all of them looked pretty. yay! it was pretty cool. there was so much food. man! i got full! STRAWBERRIES! haha! funny stuff. omg. when other people were walking down the aisle and all of that other stuff, i got worried again. geez. i am such a retarded little person! it is not even funny. i can't help it. argh! i hate piano! it pisses me off! i thought that it was supposed to be fun. but my mom isn't helping! grr. i'm mad!

quote: irony can be deceiving.

ay naku! this isn't supposed to be getting to me. why is it getting to me? there is something wrong with me! i swear! it was back then. what do i have to worry about. it's just that what he said to her. i mean wow! what if that person still does. and what if that person is going to say the same thing to me as the other other person? omg! i'm stressing about this stupid thing! when she told me those things, they were funny... but it just made me think. i'm not the first. and i guess that it kind of bugs. but why? i mean ugh! am i getting jealous? wtf. aww crap. i need time to think. i need space to breathe. omg. i'm going to cry! what am i supposed to think? i mean what the other person said to the other other person before "they left from each other" is really scary. i mean the other other person has another person and so does the other person. but it's just too scary. i need a break. wait. breaks are bad. i need a break but not a real break. just a break all by myself.

quote: all guys are dogs.. just some more than others. all girls are bitches.. just some more than others.

HAPPY 5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! i really don't know what i am supposed to write. chris wrote me a letter. that is so weird! the commercials for ikea are so funny! that one with the old people who are trying to talk all ghetto and "gettin their groove on." but it's so nasty when there is this old lady and two old men are all up on her and dancing. EEEWWW! so sick! i swear! and the ikea commercials are funny! that old guy cracks me up like a cracker! heh! some guys can be real DICKS! seriously. grr. whatever. i won't let it piss me off too much today. crud! i still have to make posters! i don't want to! boo! yugi-oh is and odd show. i think that is how you spell it. isn't it? well i still watch it. hah stephanie is funny. i don't have much to write about. oh! my irony story is so funny! i have something for six months now! woohoo! since i can't buy something, then i have to make something. and i know the perfect thing. hah! sucks for chris. heh! okies. peace out.

quote: "...why do i allow myself to cry? why do i allow myself to lie? maybe i should just give up and finally say goodbye..." -say goodbye by LyTHiUM

wow! i haven't written in my blog for a while. heh. today was fun! but i am so tired. i took a nap! yay! i'm happy. dudes! i want to sleep over kris' house. grr. but i have other crap. darn it. veggie swear words are funny. lucky mark and them! they got to see joe legaspi! lucky little punks! i wanted to see him. he's so hot! haha! but eyah. you know what i think is the stupidest quote ever? "you laugh because i'm different. i laugh because you're all the same." that quote seriously pisses me off. i mean no one is totally different so don't BS with that crap. ok. that probably made no sense at all. but still. so what. i know what i'm talking about. i don't care if you don't. ha. sucks for you! yay! i get to see a hot guy on sunday!!! guess who it is. it's LANCE! woohoo! omg! i'm happy. recitals are always fun just for that reason. ha! i suck so much. i have a bF and i check out other guys. i know he checks out girls too. eh. YOGURT IS THE BEST! i love YOGURT! yummy yummy stuff. GO YOGURT! jajaja. i know i'm an odd person. crap. i have to play for the little kids on saturday. i don't even know the songs. i am so screwed! grr. playing with ice is fun! my stupid boyfriend put a crap load of ice down my back and down the front of my shirt! heh! it's getting cold. *wink* a girl should know what i'm talking about. it's pretty funny. funny funny stuff.

quote: you're hat is cute, but you're beautiful. -some 30-40 year old guy that was talking to megan. (*molester/rapist*)

911. interesting day. hot day! i can't believe that it has already been a year it doesn't seem like a year. it seems like it just happened a few months ago. but that's just how i feel. TAP testing is finally over! it kind of sucks though because i like how the schedule is. hini bale. but yeah.that was so sick what happened to megan today! that guy was checking her out! go megan! but it is pretty sick just for the fact that the guy was pretty old. if he was our age or something then it would be a compliment. it would be even better if the guy was HOT! i mean hot and our age. yah. that's what i mean. i have been so tired lately. yes! i got jed a present! i should buy that one card that i got for him for myself. yeah! i should. i will! noooo! the hallmark near school is closing! that's not cool man! where am i going to buy my cards? aiya! it's ok. i am going to start my own card company... panda productions. yay!

quote: you cannot have sexual relations with a porcupine. -some stupid law in florida

grr. TAP! i hate it so much! the only things that are good about it are that you get breaks all the time and you get to get out of class early and you don't have to go to all of your regular classes and you get an hour and ten minutes for lunch. woohoo! it's not so bad though. at least it doesn't count for a grade. omg. grand theft auto 3 is so fun! beating up people and stealing their money in that game is so fun! seriously! i just need to learn the controls. ha! i'm a weird person. there is also one other thing that is cool about TAP is that i get to spend time with "my friend." so it's all good and gravy. i need to do lab. crap! oh well. it's ok. i can do it some other time this week. i have 3 more days... i think. he said it was due by the end of this week.. i always have rachel. so yeah. i hate going to school early! there is never anything to do there. grr. i think that is all that i have to say. FILIPINO FESTIVAL WAS SO FUNNY! karate chop a guy... on the NECK! yah! too bad there were no hot guys there. but ace is cute! buy hotnsexykoala is the HOTTEST! hehe! how come the korean people don't know what the friendship bell is? it was were they filmed VR troopers. people have to remember that show! meng! whateverz. i get it now! i know why they call it a quincenera! because QUINCE! 15! yah! get it? get it? yah! i got it! woohoo!