GIRL'S NIGHT OUT! WOOHOO!

i am at jenelyn's house right now. i did not want to go home so i slept over. well it is not like that... we had a girl's night out and i knew that we would be getting home late. so i asked jen if i could sleep over so that i would not have to go home and face my parents calling me all night and asking me when i would get home. it was easier this way. well since i am already blogging i might as well tell you about my day.

saturday. i actually went to church! holy crap! but i did not get to enjoy it much because my neck and my back were bothering me. i should really go to a chiropractor and get my back looked at. i do not want to be like phil.. haha! love you phil! anyways, i was with jenelyn. we were looking for the guys but none of them picked up their cell phones. stupid boys! so jen convinced me to come with her and her family to eat out at cocary. on our way out of the parking lot we saw the guys coming out of the hospital. that was the last we saw of them.

jen and i got to her cousin's house. starleth does not look pregnant at all. maybe a little. but she looks more fat than pregnant. everyone thinks so, so do not think i am this horrible person. even she says so. we rode with katherine's boyfriend, eddie. he drives pretty crazy. we got to cocary in alhambra. as we were looking for a space to park, one opened up. but there was this other car, a benz, that was trying to go after it as well. it was pretty stupid considering that we were there first and had the right of way. but they still tried to get it. it is a good thing that eddie has a small car because as soon as the car pulled out of the parking space, eddie just went for it. we were so scared that we were going to get into a fight or that when we got back to the car it would be all scratched up.

cocary was good. jen and i both said that we were not going to eat anything but we ended up eating something. their chicken was pretty good. i was new to the whole "cooking it yourself" thing since the last time i did that jessica did it for me. but it was pretty fun. we went back to jen's cousin's house and jen took me home. i had to kill about four hours so i did not know what to do. i eventually just fell asleep. i woke up and got ready to go out.

jen came a little early since she was pretty bored. we went to paseo where khaing works.  khaing has a job! she sells himalayan salt crystal lamps on a cart at paseo. nice. the lamps are so freaking expensive. no offense khaing. but they are! $50 is the cheapest that they have. when we got to paseo jen and i looked around at some of the stores. then we went to see khaing. khaing told us to make reservations at islands so that we would not have to wait when she got off work. i had the hardest time going up the stairs. stupid exercises! after making the reservations at islands we ran into javier and patrick. WEIRD! we talked to them for a little bit and went back down to khaing. it was good seeing school people! jen and i looked at odd sunglasses. they had ones that were shaped as swans. nice. shephora has this really good lip gloss. it is really thick and only $10. it may sound expensive but once you try it you will think that it is a bargain. moving on... after khaing got off work we went to islands. erin met up with us there. we ordered our food and talked. jen actually finished her burger! that is amazing! we paid the bill.

jen and i went to khaing's house. for some reason i was really hyper on the way there. we were going to watch "anchorman" at khaing's house since she has the dvd but jen was too tired so we went back to her house. she showed me some of her old baby pictures. it's a boy! haha! just kidding. then we read some of the things that i wrote in her scrapbook. i cussed a lot! actually i only said s***. i do not know why. well now i am here, online, since jen is sleeping. i was reading people's blogs and xangas. very interesting. bryan's was probably the most interesting to me. he goes shopping quite a bit and buys CLOTHES and NECKLACES. WTF is that! i am telling you, he is becoming more and more feminine everyday. it scares me a little. but i saw it coming. and bryan, i still love you, no matter what choice you make. hahaha!

well i am going to go now because it is getting late and i am getting sleepy. good night everybody! or to the three or four people that actually read my blog. =( pieces!

 

hmmm... i thought that things were different. but all of a sudden it changed. it was so familiar and comfortable. we were both laughing and talking about the weirdest things. that lasted for about two days. then it went back to the same thing. maybe it was too soon to start talking again. or maybe this is just how it is going to be from now on. after a long time of not talking at all we talk online for a little bit. then it all fades away and they just stop talking to me. but i like the familiarity of our conversations. so comfortable and fun. we actually laughed. and they were geniun laughs. i thought things were different. i guess not.

i have gone back to my old routine of blogging... every once a month or so. and it is time for me to blog once again. how is everyone doing? summer treating you well? it is hard to believe that it is more than half way through. july seems like a really boring and hot month for me. but i went to the getty museum last friday. it was beautiful! the garden is a really nice place to sit. if i could i would just sit there for hours. i do not have much to say so i am going to cut this short. bYe!

i have to get my camera sent! boo! stupid LDC screen! anyway, friday was ok. i was supposed to go to the beach with erin, khaing, jen, kristina, and other people but i could not. oh well. my day accomplished a lot. my dad and i went to glendale. i rushed to american eagle and got a bag that i have been eyeing for a while. it went on sale so i bought it. then my dad and i went to circuit city and bought my stereo since my old one cannot read cd's anymore. my dad had to drop off something to one of his patients. then we went to kmart since i had to buy a disposable camera since i have to get my digital camera fixed. good thing the cameras were on sale. then i went home and cleaned. my mom and i had a fight. whatever. i do not care anymore.

my saturday was boring! i went to church and then to the cafe. my family came over to celebrate my mom's birthday and my uncle's birthday. but to be honest, it seemed like it was mostly for my mom. i talked to my cousins. eric drew a panda for me. i am going to make it my background. for the rest of the night my family karaoked. yep. it is a typical filipino get together.

i went out with steph today. we spent our time at japanese village. we ate at some restaurant. the sushi was only $3.50. that is not bad. but if you think about it, it is about $.60 per roll. that is a lot! steph and i went to this book store and she got some cool japanese stickers. she gave me the one that had pandas on it so i could put it on my phone. yay! we went to the block that had japanese village on it. we went to a bunch of different stores. steph bought be a chocolate cream puff. yum. steph was going to get these cute little slippers. i liked the pink ones and the turquiose ones. then we went to this anime store that had toys and posters and all this other stuff. steph and i found a box that had 5 items for $5. so we were looking for a bunch of items that we wanted to buy. i got a pencil and keychain and steph got a pen and some other thing. then we split pins. we went to this market where we got wash clothes that we were going to make into bags. it is cool! i also got those melon gummy candies. those are so good! after that, we went to this other place. it was small and did not have that many things in it. steph liked this cute little wallet. i told her to get it. then i saw this little hello kitty bag that was shaped as a hamburger. it was so cute! and it was only around $3. steph and i decided to come back and get them. but steph did not get the wallet because she did not have enough money but i got the bag. yay! i am happy! today was a fun day! i got to hang out with steph. woot! peace out.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JENELYN JOY RAMOS!

today was pretty good. i did not really do anything during the early afternoon hours but i did later on.

jen came to my house around 4:30 pm and we left for west covina mall. we got there and i returned some things from american eagle. then we looked around more. forever 21 had a 2 for $9 sale on camis so jen and i got some. express had a big sale. there was a turquiose polo there for only $10. nice. but they did not have my size. oh well. kristina met up with us there. then jen got cheese on a stick from hot dog on a stick. (that sounds funny.) i bought two camis and a shirt from ae for only $7. nice.

kristina, jen, and i left to get starbucks. kris and i split a venti. they gave us two grandes. that is a lot! but i am not complaining. kris was telling jen the wrong directions to chili's because they were not ready yet. by the way this was a surprise party for jen. she thought it was only going to be laura, khaing, erin, kris, me, and her. but then a bunch of other people were there. jen was getting annoyed. but then we got there. she was so surprised. jen is the easiest person to surprise because she is kind of slow. (i love you jen!)

we got inside and said hi to people. rachel and i matched like crazy! we were both wearing jeans, pink polos with a white tank top under, and heart necklaces. cool! we took pictures. then we ate. it was fun! i laughed for the stupidest things. we were there for a long time! after we took pictures and got the check all done, we stayed outside for like thirty minutes just talking. i was trying to get ryan jealous by hugging rachel and all this stuff. we took weird pictures. it was so fun! so many people were there! i missed all of them and i got to see them today! yay! well all said our good-bye's and we our seperate ways. today was so fun! aww yay!

*WARNING! to those who have not watch and are planning to watch the notebook you may not want to read part of this entry.

good weekend. i ditched church. oh well. the guys made this new game with the cards in their wallets. it was pretty stupid!

at around 7 pm jen came to pick me up. then we got khaing at her house. jen drove us to erin's house at riverside. we were all so loud! oh well. we got to erin's house. i rang the door bell and i see a man's legs. i could not figure out who it could have been. then the door opens wider and it was masaki! khaing's face was hilarious! we went inside and ate. then we went to the theaters to watch the notebook. wow! that was a good movie!

*i started to cry when allie's mom was saying that noah and allie were not meant to be together because they were different. i totally knew what they were feeling! then the end was so sad but sweet at the same time. they died together. aww!

after the movie ended you could hear people snuffling or whatever you call it. it was funny! khaing, erin, jen, kris, and i went to tgif's. i felt so weird because it was happy hour and everyone else that was there was 21 or over. it took forever for them to give us our food. the stawberry lemonade was good! we told the waitress that it was jen's birthday. well it is! or at least it will be. haha! we got this ice cream cookie sundae. yum!

we went back to erin's house. erin's hair is scary! it is just sitting in her closet and seems like it is going to jump on you and eat you! we watched down with love. it is a pretty good movie! i liked it. the twists were unprobable but funny. we all went back up to erin's room but we did not sleep. i hate sleeping in between jen and khaing! they hit each other and i am in the middle. and khaing pokes me and jen uses me as a tandayan. we started talking about gay marriage and cloning and stuff. it was pretty interesting.

we all woke up late. but that is ok. we had to leave because erin had to go somewhere. jen, khaing, and i took kristina home. we stayed at her house for a while. i waded in the pool for a while. then khaing, jen, and i went to ikea. there are so many things i want to get there! yay! i am so excited that i get to redecorate my room this summer! woohoo!

i'm not mean. i'm just brutally honest.

when i drive i want to buy or make a shirt that says:
"i brake for pandas."

i found my new song:
half crazy by musiq

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la lala la

Never thought that we would ever be more than friends
Now I'm all confused cause for you I have deeper feelings
We both thought it was cool to cross the line
And I was convinced it would be alright
Now things are strange, nothings the same
And really I just want my friend back

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on

I'd hate walk away from you as if this never existed
Cause when we kissed the moment after I looked at you different
Lately I gotta watch what I say
Cause you take things personally nowadays
You used to laugh now you get mad
Damn I just want my friend back

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
(can't get you out of my system)
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on

oh oh oh oh oh yeah
What happened to the one I used to know
The one I used to laugh and joke with
The one I used to tell all my secrets
We used to chill and be down for whatever whenever together

And my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
Said my mind's gone half crazy cause I can't leave you alone
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on
we used to chill we used to hang
we used to do some many things together

here you go bryan! i blogged! it is short!

yay! miss saigon tomorrow! and then sleepover!

bryan hit on me! no! no! no! I am supposed to hit on HIM! this is not normal. ::shudder::

oh no! i am turning into one of those people that feel like they need to blog everyday! crap.

senior year is supposed to be fun. but i was thinking about it and i do not think it will be that fun for me. i mean the rest of the year will be good except for the major events where you ask people or people ask you to go with them. i do not know who to ask to sadies. and no one is going to ask me to the christmas banquet and jr/sr. man. i am depressed now. =/

it seems like i look at people's blogs just to see if they have anything interesting i can do on it, like quizzes or games. haha!

i feel like i have a lot to say. well, this weekend was pretty good. i had a lot of fun with my friends.

saturday. i did not go to church. i went to the cafe instead. oh well. we talked about daryl's party. it is coming up so soon! jonathan sy was there. i have a feeling he is going to be hanging around with us a lot. it is pretty strange for some of us because jonathan and teo had major differences before and now they are the best of friends.

after the cafe kristina and i went to my house to change. i did not know what to wear so vince and daryl had to wait for us for thirty minutes. vince thought that it was weird because kris and i were switched. i was wearing pink and she was wearing turquiose. nice.

we had to go to daryl's house so he could change. that was the first time i have been to his house. it is pretty nice. his room is a typical boy's room. i should have figured.

kris and i wanted to go shopping so we went to glendale galleria. did some shopping but decided to wait until later when we would go back. all of us were really hungry so we got animal style fries and in-n-out. yummy! i bought it for kris and me. but kris bought me a strawberry shortcake scone at starbucks. yay! i got a caramel frap.

then we walked to the exchange to watch "harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban." as we were walking daryl had his arm around my neck. then we started talking about "spots" and he starts moving down my back. it was so scary but at the same time funny. we bought our tickets and snuck in our food. the movie was scary! i liked it.

we walked back to american eagle and bought some stuff. i got two shirts and a polo. but i think i am going to return one of the shirts. we went to mark's house for the party.

i felt bad because we were supposed to be there at 1 pm to help set up and prepare but we got there at 7 pm. that is way passed filipino time! i had to be searched in order to get in. it was pretty weird. but i never had to get searched again.

at first the party was, well, crap. but then more people came and it got started! bryan, jessie, chris, and this girl were there for jina because she had someone's keys. briggitte, jina, steph, jo, and luong came. chris and i did not talk. not even eye contact. awkward. more people came. i hung out with kris most of the night. kristopher's mom made her famous salad. she makes the best salad ever! the dj had been playing for a while and i started getting into it. jen was crazy! her dancing makes me laugh so much! she grabbed kris and i so we danced. after that we only stopped to rest for a little bit then went back to dance. briggitte and them saw me dancing. it was funny. i got steph to dance. we did the robot.

byron stepped on my toe. at first i thought nothing of it. then i felt something wet on my slippers. i was bleeding. it was on the middle toe of my right foot. kris was freaking out more than me. and teo was getting so grossed out. it was not even that bad!

i danced more. there was this one time i was dancing with daryl. then this guy comes up behind me and dances. i did not even know him. he left and the other guy came. it was the weirdest thing ever! i tried to get jonathan to dance but he just would not. i danced with megan. it was pretty funny! masaki was dancing dirty with khaing. shame shame shame! the party ended at 12 am. i danced for three hours at the party. sheesh! i talked to people and said bye to everyeone. teo and erin took me home. i still think it is weird how they are a couple now. i do not know. i am just not used to it.

sunday. i had a recital today. i actually got a big trophy this year! yay! i am happy. but i still got 2nd place. brian is so good! geez!

jonathan's party was today. i feel bad that i could not got. i wanted to. we were going to play tic tac toe and badminton. i think i would have had fun. but it is not my fault i did not have a ride home. so jonathan cannot get mad at me. haha!

this weekend was so good! i find myself wanting to dance when i get a chance to. but i need to get into the music first.

i am going to see ms. saigon on thursday with kristina, her mom, and maybe jen. yay! i am so excited! i have been wanting to see that for so long! my family went when they were at new york and lea salonga was still in it. i would prefer seeing it if lea salonga and gian's uncler were in it but they are not. oh well. wow! i blogged a lot! nice. =)

J	Jolly
E	Emotional
N	Natural
N	Nerdy
I	Insane
F	Fashionable
E	Exciting
R	Responsible

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

You are going to marry Brad Pitt. He is always
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Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
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you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
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which happy bunny are you?
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^it is funny because it is true. =)



Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
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your shit.


What swear word are you?
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Dragon:
Dragons are very mysterious creatures who often
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You are totally in love.You try to hide it but you
cant.You are nice and pritty in your own way
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please rate my quiz.


Are you in love?
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^i guess it is true.



Your half- angel. Not exactly human, but not quite
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have no wings, but tend to show some signs.
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OMG!!! Youre gonna die of cancer for using your
cell to much


Choose your Dramatic Death (Now w/pics!!)
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^i think the boobs match.. don't you think? hahaha!

vacation sucks ass! i have not done anything so far. but then again it is only the first week of vacation. last night i stayed up until 3:30 am to clean. do not judge me! cleaning calms my nerves. haha! then i cleaned somemore today and i am going to clean more tonight because there are stuff everywhere. i need to get out of the house! but there is a party tomorrow so i will probably go to that. i might to go the party on sunday but most likely not. we will see. i have a freaking recital on sunday! i cannot wait until i do not have to take piano anymore. one more year...

i was cleaing my room today and i realized that in one year i will not be living here anymore. this is my last year to live at home because i will be going off to college. i may come home during vacations and stuff but that is not my full time home. it scared me a little. it scares me now. after my last year here i will be moving out for good and living in my own apartment or some other type of home. I AM SO EXCITED!

on a different note, my dad walked into my room and asked me when i was going to learn how to drive. then he tells me that i am going to learn this summer. my parents really want me to drive. it is because of my dad and our little situation. when i get my license i know that i am going to have to drive myself everywhere. but that is fine with me. =)

LET'S GO OUT, PEOPLE! I AM SO FUCKING BORED!

things from people's aim profiles:

to do something totally crazy for someone because it hurts you inside that your not with that person. because you have that image in the back of your mind that one day you two will be together. to do everything humanly possible just to get noticed or to humiliate yourself just to get one glance and a smile. and that in the end you found out what you only believed, that the juice is worth the squeeze. that by doing the unthinkable you can achieve the unreachable and that is more perfect that love in itself, it is love with meaning. - bkxbawler


girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry? and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough . As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....You're not pretty you're beautiful. i dont want to be with you forever. i NEED to be with you forever, and i wouldnt cry if you walked away...i'd die - forbidden pinoi


There are these two twin old men that go into the same bar everyday. The bartender at the bar hates one of the twins, but the only way he could tell the difference between the one he hates and the one he likes is because the one that he hates drinks very slow, but the one that he likes drinks fast. So one day the bartender decides to kill the one that he hates. So when they came in that day he put the same amount of the drink in their cups, the same amount of ice, and the same amount of poison. The twin that he hates dies and the other lives. How can this be?


They come at night without being called and are lost in the day
without being stolen. What are they?

i blog? yes, i blog.

today sucked. i went to elac to take english and math assessment tests. the english test was a joke. it kind of felt like i was taking a esl test. but the precal one was not as easy. it is so stupid because they want you to pass a precal test to get into precal. what the hell. that is not how it is supposed to work. oh well. what can i do. i only drank milk before i went to go take the tests so after the three hours of annoying test taking my head started to hurt. we had orientation after and my brain was throbbing. but i got taco bell after. yay. i guess that is really all i can talk about.

graduation was fun. so many parties. there is another one for mark, jen, erin, and kris on saturday at mark's house. and there is a end of the year one on sunday night at jonathan sy's house in pasadena. everyone go! it will be fun! =)

why must you hate me?

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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this one so so true! -->

You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
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i am a bunch of chucks --->

Sneakers- funny, laid-back, and goofy, you love to
make people laugh and have a good time. You
enjoy comfort and don't care to much about what
people think of you. You like to hang out with
your buddies and just have a good time. [please
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What Kind of Shoe Are You?
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You have a Calm Soul! Being calm and cool is what
you do best. You collected thoughts and always
positive attitude make you very bright and
logical. When theres a problem, you know how to
approach it, and solve it. Your friends rely on
you on their problems, and your shoulder for
their crying. You are peaceful, and enjoy
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hardly scream, which makes you good with kids.
You seem to be in tune with the world and if
anything goes wrong, you always bounce back.


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Nerdslut


What's your sexual appeal?
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hOtNsExYpAnDa: have you ever kissed someone?
philx516: lol
philx516: like really?
hOtNsExYpAnDa: what?
hOtNsExYpAnDa: there is a not really?+

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.


Which kind of candy are you?
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You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
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this one is really stupid! -->


A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.

Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.

Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity..



You might like this game, but maybe it's not your
thing. Take a look anyway if you are
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www.life-blood.vze.com


What kind of girl are you?
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Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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well i appearantly was not a good enough girlfriend for her son!

I AM 20% EVIL GENIUS! I thwart evil. I am definitely the “Good guy” type. Evil runs from my aurora of all things good and right. Look out James Bond. Take the EVIL GENIUS test at Fuali.com

Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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Beauty, you are beautiful not only outside, but
inside as well. You have a kind heart and are
compassionate. You feel the pain of others and
you are a better person for it. You shine with
purity and wisdom and will expirience the love
you show.


What's your dominant personality trait?
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blah blah blah. this week was ok. not much to talk about but the beach. we are stupid. megan, bryan, and i sat three to a seat even though there were ten empty seats around us. it was pretty fun though. megan ate all of bryan's food. we played the abc game. i was behind by so much! oh well. but i still got second place. stupid bryan! we got to the beach. megan got thrown in during the first ten minutes. we just sat around and talked. that was kind of fun. then lunch came and everyone went to their potlucks. i was not asked so i just sat there. chris was with everyone so i did not want to go there. it would have been really weird. i guess i do not like being with my friends if he is there. it just gets me depressed. everyone looked like they were having fun so i went to jenelyn. she gave me food! =) but she also gave me this nasty chocolate thing. it was so gross! then i met up with bryan and megan again. we sat three to a seat on the way back home too. we fell asleep. some people played this slapping game. you could hear some veins pop. over all the beach was ok.

yesterday we had a vespers. (jed was really happy.) the speaker was talking about how he met his wife. it was so sweet! but then i just thought about me and chris and i just got depressed. but the message that he told us was really good.

i was listening to my northern mix cd. there are so many songs that i can relate to! there is one song in particular, "you and i both" by jason mraz. i love that song! i really like the part where it says "and it's okay if you have to go away. just remember the telephone works both ways. and if I never ever hear it ring if nothing else I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else and that's okay cause I'll remember everything you sang." i am so sad! then i started thinking about memories of chris and i. i was thinking about last february when he had a surprise party for me. it was so sweet! then i started thinking about all the other memories. and that reminded me of "one year, six months" by yellowcard. "All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you." grr! he seems so unphased. but i guess that i should not be surprised. he is fine. and he will be totally over me by the time summer vacation is over. i hate this...

sTaR sEaRcH wAs So MuCh FuN!

saturday. went to the hospital then to church then to the hospital again then home. kristina was going to pick me up to go to star search since jen could not. i called her cell and krystal answered. she said they could not pick me up because they got into an accident. she was crying. i was like "WTF! what happened?" but my relatives took me to school. i saw vince and then and i told them what happened. rj, sy, and collin were there. cool beans! i talked to them. vince and i have the same camera! woohoo! it was so weird. but i got mine for a cheaper price. during intermission i had to sell for our booth. we made maybe $100. that is not bad. chris put an ice cube down my shirt. i talked to old seniors and ronan. it was so good to see all those people! i missed them. mark and teo were doing this whip cream thing to people but teo was not going to do it to me because he is scared of me. i think that is pretty weird. i talked to danny about kristina. he told me that she was on the fast lane and this car was swerving towards her. so to prevent crashing into him kristina swerved left and hit the center divider. it is ironic because she is always so scared about crashing into them. "the wall is my friend..." kristina got burns on her face and arms because of the airbag dust or something and krystal got burns on her neck from the seat belt. bastard! i talked to more people after star search and said bye to everyone. jenelyn and i went to ralph's to buy my mom mother's day presents. i got her a card, balloon, and flowers. whee! i showed them to her when i got home. i am pretty sure she likes them. haha! peace out yo, homie g.

philx516: walk in confident and you will pass
hOtNsExYpAnDa: that is stupid
philx516: lol
philx516: damn
philx516: my plan is stupid
hOtNsExYpAnDa: hahaha
philx516: are you gonna study for it at all this week
hOtNsExYpAnDa: yeah
hOtNsExYpAnDa: probably
hOtNsExYpAnDa: maybe
hOtNsExYpAnDa: i dont know
hOtNsExYpAnDa: hahah
philx516: pshh nerd
hOtNsExYpAnDa: whatever
hOtNsExYpAnDa: you wont stupid and get a 3
philx516: You will get a ...... 5!!!!
hOtNsExYpAnDa: WHAT!?!?!
hOtNsExYpAnDa: whatever
philx516: I have foresight =-O
hOtNsExYpAnDa: i will be lucky if i even get a 2
hOtNsExYpAnDa: foresight my ass!
philx516: lol I wasn't planning to foresight your ass :-D

when you find someone that you love and that loves you back and then it ends, it is like you are more alone than how you were before you were with them.

BAA MOTTO: do it. do it now!

i miss northern. i am finally blogging considering that we got back two days ago. on sunday i had to go to La central at 6 am. i woke up at 5:33 am but that is ok since i live right next to it. we were all tired. we loaded the van and went on our way. i barely slept on the way up. we got to santa cruz. i hit on bryan. it was so funny! briggitte got thrown in by jason, byron, and eddie. so freaking hot! then we got to our hotel. it said "welcome san gabriel academy" at the front. nice. the five girls were in a suite. we went to safeway and bought groceries. 24/$2.40 ramen! us girls cooked our first dinner together. it was so cute! i dipped my feet in the jacuzzi. it was nice. but then my feet started to get prunny. yuck! good first day.

on monday we went to the jelly bell factory. the tour was kind of boring but it was a joy to see briggitte freaked out by the oompa-loompa's. we went to this spot with a nice view. but i got a little freaked out that i might fall over. there was this log that most of us signed. it had "i ate pussy right here" on it. how pleasant. we ate at emeryville. so expensive! i tried the thai tea and green tea gelato. i liked the green tea one better. we had a few hours to go around downtown sf. the girls went around the shopping center to see what we were going to get on thursday. we wanted to watch "13 going on 30" but it was too expensive. everyeon was playing games at the metreon so briggitte and i looked around the metreon. VAN HELSING! you know! we went to pac bell park. the game was ok. there is not much to say about that. i have a picture of bond's ass.

on tuesday i was high! we had two hours of unlimited play at portal 1 at the metreon. i played hyperbowl, a bunch of racing games, ddr, and the basketball game. so much fun! my hands got really sore the next day! we ate at blondie's. that was probably the best pizza i have ever had! we went to fisherman's warf and ghirardelli square via cable car. i laughed at everything! we went to sharper image. it was so good! we got massages on their chairs. we waited for the cable car. briggitte started speaking her mind about the michelle thing. it was crazy! i felt a little weird so i went into another conversation. we went to union square. we took this picture with this heart and steph looks like she is between a butt and looks very happy. =) we went to the ten story macy’s and to the cheesecake factory at the very top. then we went to get jamba juice. i got the small strawberry tsunami. the lady asked me if i wanted an original one for free. i got it and then she gave me my small one. nice! fun day!

wednesday. we went on the golden gate bridge and took pictures. then we went to telegraph and spent an hour at amoeba music. they have some great stuff! we ate at blondie’s again. we made bears at the basic brown bear factory. ozzie’s looks like him. we got to haight and ashbury. we did not find the store with the sexual stick figures. but we got bracelets for $0.25. then we had a bbq. ozzie made really good burgers! we were watching the laker game. BRYAN IS SUCH A GUY! it was weird. at night we went into the pool and jacuzzi. the security guard came since it was 11 pm and the pool was closed at 9 pm. the guys chilled at our room. we played blackjack. but every time we lost we had to drink a cup of water. there was this 7 up that tasted salty and steph really did not want to drink it so i did. it did not affect me. jason, mike, and eddie were dying! good times.

thursday. it was our last day. we got screwed over at the exploratorium. we went to the palace of fine arts. jessie jumped from this really high spot. on his way down he said “fuck you!” it was so funny! the houses in that area are so nice! we went to the metreon and had time to shop. i got shirts for $5. jon jon actually went into a&f. i got people’s presents. the strawberry creme frap is really good! we went to the hotel and had another bbq. yum! we watched the second to the last “friends.” i cried. it was crazy! then we watched “will & grace.” we went into the jacuzzi. i hit on bryan again. i tried to make a move on him. so funny! we talked about relationships and people’s problems. fun stuff. we have nicknames for the two different groups of guys there. the Ns are the nice guys: phil, bryan, jon, and jessie. the Bs are the bitches: jason, mike, eddie, and byron, but not so much. we were going to get pedicures there but it was either $20 or $25. guys up at northern are so horny!

aww friday. =/ we loaded the van. i slept most of the way. but after we ate i was alert. i miss northern. a lot.

northern quotes:

briggitte: i'm not racist, i just tell the truth!

byron: look, there's a gay guy
jason: look, another one
steph: WHERE, WHERE, WHERE ARE ALL THE GAYS?!

me: aww, you're chandler!
bryan: you know, i took like 5 online quizzes, and they all said chandler.
briggitte: he's funny though.
(bryan gets all sad)
briggitte: funny in a good way.

me: bryan has a "gay thing"!
phil: where?

bryan: have you read megan's away message where jimmy fallon talks about the guy who collected 1,000,000 pennies and was like, "i wonder how much that is...must be like 4 million dollars."
me: that's not bad

me: say yes or no.
phil: yo...nes
steph: no...wait

steph: all the guys are going to get a boner!

ozzie burps
someone: can you burp on command?
me: do it now!
ozzie: oh yeah. right after i burp.

sheila: press it long and hard

sheila: it's so beautiful i want to gag.

steph: (falling to her knees) NOOOOOO!

today i had a piano test. the guy said that my sight reading was the best he heard all day. nice. i told my mom and she said that my teacher told her that i am better at sight reading than brian. finally. something i am better at than brian.

YAY!

our northern problems are solved! we had a meeting at lunch today. (i got thai food for our algebra potluck! woot!) everyone was so nervous. we started talking. we tried to get new ideas and some people said they would try to get people. tomorrow after school is the deadline for people to be our drivers. but the only reason why we could not just take one fifteen seater was because there would be too much luggage. so since it was only the luggage was the only problem briggitte's dad would be able to drive up with us on sunday with all the luggage then come down. and on friday caitlyn's dad could take our luggage down. we were all so excited! we are so close! we are pretty sure that it is going to be that way. i am happy! the chorale people are gone today. they are on their way to hawaii. they are probably there already. chris i gone. =/ i did not even get to say good-bye. well i did on the phone but what kind of a good-bye is that!?!? oh well. i hope that everyone has fun! i know that i will up at northern! woohoo! party 24/7! but this saturday i am going to bryan's party dinner thing. no one is ever going to agree on a movie. 13 going on 30! i know the guys do not want to watch that. oh well. i guess we will see. NORTHERN HERE WE COME!

my "japanese" name is:

Jennifer Mariano,

from this day forward your
Ninja Burger ninja name will be

Rinsaku Chiaki -san

Use this name in all
future dealings with
Ninja Burger customers.

aslkdjfklsadjfs;dfklsafjasf;lasdjf;ksadjf

northern in two weeks! i need to make a northern mix for the ride up and the ride down. well that would only be one mix but i would listen to it on the ride up and the ride down. yeah. anyway. i just realized that there is no one to miss me anymore. wow. that sounds so conceited. but i mean there is no one that will say "aww! i missed you so much!" or "man! why do you have to go? i am going to miss you like crazy!" that just made me a little sad. just something else to get over.

i was watching EVERWOOD last night and it made me really sad. ephrim and i are like this! we are going though the same crap! but i have been through what he is going through right now. but i felt his pain! and watching it brought back all this other crap for me too.

well we did our debate today. we have to finish tomorrow. we are getting KILLED! oh well. at least we know that we tried and that we did our best. that is really all that matters. i like my team. we are a cool bunch!

life has been ok. chris and i are ok. we are not best friends but we are friends. so that is good. not being best friends like planned is just another thing to get over. ok. i am going to get going now. payce yo! =)

why didn't you fight for me?

"..now i think that moral fiber is about finding that one thing that you really care about.. that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. and when you find her.. you fight for her. you risk it all. you put her in frnot of everything.. your future, your life.. all of it..and maybe the stuff you do to hlep her isn't so clean.. but you know what? but it doesnt matter.. cus in your heart you know.. that the juice is worth the squeeze. thats what moral fiber is all about." - sean's profile

i do not know why i feel this way but i do. i feel bad but it is just how i feel. =/

well so much for being best friends.

i miss...

i miss playing cards in the hallway. i miss walking to school. i miss the convenience of things. i miss going to the cafe after school. i miss walking to school with kristina. i miss white memorial school. i miss everyone living in the high rise. i miss going to people's houses in the high rise. i miss summer day camp. i miss staff training. i miss raging waters. i miss swim day. i miss the funny feeling you get inside when you like someone. i miss holding hands. i miss kisses on the cheek. i miss kisses on the hand. i miss kisses in general. i miss rings. i miss hugs. i miss bear hugs. i miss having someone come up behind you and squeeze you. i miss being with someone. i miss the first time you hold someone's hand. i miss just sitting there with your significant other and not saying a word. i miss knowing that just sitting there spending time together without saying a word brings us closer together. i miss having a best friend. i miss being able to talk to someone about anything. i miss playing with hair. i miss someone playing with my hair. i miss being held. i miss i miss my friends. i miss too many damn things!

this song is dedicated to all of my friends whom i love so very much I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

When every moment gets too hard
The end of the road can feel so far
No matter how much time we'll part
I'm always near you
I'll be the shelter in your rain
Help you find your smile again
I'll make you laugh if you have a broken heart
Wherever you are

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

So many people come and go
Nothing can change the you I know
You'll never be just a face in the crowd
And time will show
Through the seasons and the years
I will always hold you dear
Never you fear

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

I'll be around when every candle burns down low
And I want you to know...

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

I Will Be Your Friend by Coco Lee

'til i get over you by michelle branch

everytime i feel alone
i can blame it on you
and i do, oh
you got me like a loaded gun
golden sun and sky so blue
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

sometimes i watch the world go by
i wonder what it's like
to wake up every single day
smile on your face
you never tried

we both know we can't change it
but we both know we'll just have to face it

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

if only i could give you up
but would i want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

we both know that i'm not over you
i'm not over you

*(chaque fois que to ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien)
everytime you walk away, i pretend that i'm okay

quote: why does it hurt so much? will it always hurt this much?

alright. i am being vulnerable. i am putting all of my emotions at the moment on the table. whenever i do this my mind always seems to go blank. after chris and i broke up of course i cried my eyes out. then after a while i stopped crying but everything just seemed so screwed up. chris and i did not even have a relationship anymore. we would not talk at all and when we did for some reason we would end up fighting. that is my fault. i was so anxious for spring break to come because maybe i could clear my head and start getting over him. but for some reason that is not the case. we talk online a little but i do not know. spring break has been crap for me. i cannot even spend time with my friends because my dad is in the philippines and no one can drive me anywhere. the last time i saw anyone from school was on saturday and that was jenelyn. i have only talked to about five people online this whole week and that sucks. i really just want high school to be over with. it seems like the pain just keeps coming back and it never goes away! i just want to feel better! and last night did not help at all. i was going to go to sleep but i ended up thinking of how much i missed him and all the things we have been through. then i started to think about how i handled this whole break up and how i drove him away. now he probably does not want to be my friend anymore. and even if we did get anther chance to be together i doubt that he would want to. i know that he deserves to be happy and i want him to be happy. but it hurts to see him so happy and realize that i am not the one that makes him happy anymore and never will be. i kind of envy him because it seems like he can just brush it off his shoulders and be happy. i wish that i could be happy. i do not know how he does it. how can he get over someone he has been with for about two years and be happy? i wish i knew his secret because i could use some of the joy right about now. i thought that my tears would be all gone by now. but they just keep coming! i just miss him. i miss how we used to talk on the phone for hours and never get tired of each other. we would talk about everything. have you ever been with someone that was also your best friend? (jed gets it.) and when you guys break up it is the hardest thing in the world to let go of. i am still trying to let go. it is just so damn hard! i am sorry if people are fed up with me and this whole thing. but if you are then just tell me and I WILL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU! aiya! i need emotional support! hmm... i used to get that from him. now everything has changed. i cannot even talk to him anymore. about anything! but i should not expect anything from him since we are not together or really friends. which sucks. last night i had horrible dreams. it was like my nightmares were coming true. i was sitting in a room with *****. (i do not want to mention her name.) and i asked her who she was going to go with to junior senior. i suggested that she go with chris because i think that something will happen between them. then she calls him and they start talking and i guess sparks fly and yeah. that is a nightmare for me, that chris will move on faster than i will and with another person. then i had all these other dreams about me and chris and i could not sleep. i kept tossing and turning. i was half awake and half dreaming. it was horrible! my heart felt to heavy because it hurt so much. it was a horrible night! i wish i could be happy. i wish i could talk to him. i wish i could be his friend again. i wish lots of things. i hate how things are. i hate how i drove him away. i hate that i lost my best friend. my spring break sucks. everyone got to do something. i have been so lonely! just sitting here alone with my thoughts. do you know how that can drive a person nuts?!?! well i really do not know what else to write. it is time for me to stop being vulnerable. peace.

quote: "the worse thing is that i lost my best friend."

look! i am blogging! this is new. i know i do not usually blog and i have to tell people when i do. but then i only told bryan and chris so it is so stupid! wow! the last time i blogged was on december 29. that is so crazy! my entry was very gag me. but that is ok. well since then chris and i broke up because his mom wanted us apart since we are too young and i am not korean. great. i am trying to get over it but it is really hard. i mean it already hurts that i lost my boyfriend and that we will never be together but what hurts even more is that i also lost my best friend. we used to talk all the time on the phone. we would talk about stupid stuff and sometimes even gossip. he was my best friend. and now everything has changed. we still talk but not talk talk. we say hi and mess around with each other but we do not talk like we used to. i know that it is not his fault and i am not blaming him or anyone. i just miss those times. i wish we could talk more and stay connected. i want the connection that we had. but i know that we will never have it back. for my extra credit english poem i am going to write about this. i am going to title it “forever” because i lost my best friend forever. i miss my best friend.

quote: here you go...

I LOVE YOU BABE! I MISS YOU SOO MUCH! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! BUT THAT IS SO LONG FROM NOW! OK. BYE!

quote: wow! i haven't blogged in a long time!

this blog is dedicated to NUMBER ONE! hi number one! i do not really have time to blgo anymore. ap us is killing me! we had a test today. i think i did ok. but the cycle begins again! haha! since no one probably reads this except chris, i will just write to chris. hey babe! how are you? i am so bored! it's thursday and it's my kick back day. i love it! i am watching will and grace. it is such a funny show! man. i am really bad at blogging. i never know what to write. AAAHHHH! I AM SO MAD! I CANNOT GO TO THE STUPID FRIENDS TAPING BECAUSE I AM NOT 18! GRRR! oh well! at least i can stay for vespers tomorrow and spend time with number 1! ok. sorry but i do not know what else to write. sorry babe! check back some other time! i love you! bye!

quote: BJ KISSED ME!

today was so fun! i went to church and blah blah blah. kris came from surfing with will. she wants to be a surfer chick now. we went to get thai deli. we ate it on the second floor since aj and bj were there. they are both so cute! bj doesn't smile a lot but when he does it's like the sun! achibooboo! kris and i had to go somewhere. so aj and bj gave us hugs and kisses. aj kissed me on the cheek but bj kissed me on the lips. it was so weird and funny at the same time! i feel so special. see.. even if i'm not with someone i can still get kissed. haha! vince was there. he was like "hold my hand." he's so weird. he has a car now and is working. what a queen! kristina had to go get a haircut so i went with her so that i was not at home doing nothing and thinking about what happened. but it was so gay because we went to koreatown so i still thought about it. then we wanted to do something after so we asked her hair stylist where to go. she suggested the grove. it was so cool there! there were a bunch of cool stores. their forever 21 is the best! seriously! i had the best caramel frap today! it was at the cafe in barnes and nobles. kris and i went back home and blah. i talked to chris. i didn't cry! wow! i am amazed! i did other stuff and bleck!

quote: WE BROKE UP!

CHRIS BROKE UP WITH ME! yes. he did. he did last night. he was going to do it in person at school but i read his xanga and i figured it out. i called megan, jen, and rachel. i was freaking out. yah. we broke up. he broke up with me. it's so weird. i called jen after and then i called kris. kristina really made me feel better. she wants to castrate him. it's so funny! but i don't want her to do that. school today was so weird. i got to school and i told andrew and michelle. for some reason i started to cry. and then bryan came and i cried. rachel and bryan hugged me. i felt a little better. megan hugged me and so did jina. i got lots of hugs today. man. i didn't even want this break up. it's so hard for me. but i thank God that i have such incredible friends that care about me and love me and are there for me whenever i need them. i went through the day putting on a happy front. sometimes it was really hard for me to seem happy but i did it anyway. sometimes i would be walking and be all happy then all of a sudden i would have a mood swing and be sad. i hated it. marvin and khaing were going through it and i was so pissed off so see them together and happy and back together. i mean i am really happy for them but it just sucks that it can't happen to me. i got a notes from jen and erin. they were like warm and fuzzies. aww. i was not in the car washing mood. i really wasn't. it was hot and i felt like crap. my bitter anger showed later in the afternoon. bryan, megan, kyle and i went to burger king. it was so scary because i sat in the back seat of kyle's car and it was folded so i didn't have an actual seat. so i had to hang on to the seat in front of me. kyle has ADD. it's so funny! i was going to ride in the back again but megan was like, "no, i want to be dangerous." haha! i farted so many times. one time bryan actual got to smell it. sucker! bryan and megan gave me a note too. it was so sweet! i love you guys! you guys are the best! all of my friends are the best. jenelyn and i are supposed to go out tonight. so yah. man. i want him back. i have a song. it's "'til i get over you" by michelle branch. yup. i don't know what else to say. THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED ME OUT! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

quote: i have a weird family!

i love my family! they are so funny! they are watching tapes of us and all that. my cousin was saying that they should stop watching them and start making new memories. it's so gay because they are watching tapes that just happened like three months ago. yah well. that's my family. they sing a lot! and not all of us have great voices so you must imagine how that is. anyway, my week was ok. i haven't blogged in a while. it's not like i have much time with AP US. it's not hard but we just have to read a lot. but it doesn't take long to read, i just study a lot after so it takes be like an hour and a half to two hours. it's fine since i finish all my other stuff during TA. i love that period. i don't do anything. i do some stuff for ms. pongvarin but it doesn't take that long, and the rest of the time is free. so i do my homework. if i have homework, it is usually just bible, AP US, and foods. it's so funny! this week was not all that great. chris and i went through a rough patch again. he was going to break up with me. i don't blame him but yah. we were on a break for like a day then i don't know what happened to it. my eyes looked all retarded on thursday because i was crying the night before. ugh. i hate it when my eyes are like that. i look stupid! and it feels funny. chris tried to talk to me but i wasn't really in the mood to talk to him. i would talk to everyone else but him. i was just not in the mood. i guess i need more time or whatever. but then i started to talk to him more. and that's that. we got through it. GAP wasn't all that successful. i was bored and hot most of the time, but then someone wet me. great. FAS was very good. i liked it a lot. at first i didn't want to go but then i did since i had nothing better to do after school. and it was a good thing i went. EVERYONE, GO TO FAS EVER FRIDAY AT 1:45 PM!

quote: JUNIOR SUCKS!... already.

man! i hate junior year already. i thought that sophomore year was going to be crap but it was not that bad. and i thought that junior year was going to be a ball. but guess what? it's not! i hate it! i am so tired and it's so hot and i have no time for anything or no one has anytime for me or anything else. but whatever. i guess i just have to get over it and move on with my miserable life. i have 5 classes with rachel, mike, jason, and byron. that's so funny! mike is going to be funny! our english class is going to be so cool! there are like 20 of us in that class! and we have cool people so she will have more fun with us. that's right! but whatever. that's the only good thing going for me right now.

quote: school is starting in two days!

dang! summer is over already. at times it seemed like it dragged but overall, it was really short. but that's fine. i kind of wanted to go back to school. i brought my dad to the airport today. he was going to the philippines. it's gay because now my kuya has to bring me to school. whatever. that's ok. i get faceplates from the philippines. they are so cheap there! but then again everything is cheap there. ooh! tomorrow is going to be so fun! i am going out with chris. we are going shopping. we are going to glendale galleria so that chris can get collared shirts. it's going to be so fun! chris has never been to glendale galleria so it will be cool. the tonight show is so funny! yah. i don't have much to say. i thought that i would but it turns out that i don't. oh well! omg! planning the junior senior banquet is going to be so fun! whee!

quote: SLUT!

last night was really weird. i was watching the movie boys and girls and i was thinking... what if chris and i broke up after high school because of distance or we are going in different directions. it sucks but i can't help thinking about it. man! this sucks! moving on.. today was a long day! i spent my whole day with kristina, mark, erin, and some with jenelyn. kristina called me today and woke me up. she told me that we were going to take pictures so i better get ready. that was so gay! we didn't even plan anything. freaking a! kristina came to my house and took a shower and we went to pick up mark and erin. we went to glendale galleria for like two hours trying to find something to wear for the pictures. it was so stupid though because what we ended up buying was at the first store that we went to. so we practically wasted an hour and a half. grr! jen was taking forever. we all got pissed off a lot. i didn't even want to wear the skirt that we were going to wear but i had no say in it since i was out numbered. oh well. we were taking pictures because it was a favor for mark. he wanted to take pictures with the girls so we went. he wanted to look like a pimp or whatever. so stupid! out outfits were so slutty! we wore wife beaters and black catholic school girl skirts. they were so short! they reminded me of the grouP ta-tu. eeww! the skirt was so short on me. if i bent over even just little you can see my underwear. yup. great day for wearing pink underwear. and i wore a blue bra so i had to wear two wife beaters so that you couldn't see it. gah! we saw a shirt at windsors that said "frankie says relax" just like in friends. cool! we got to expose. it was so hot in kristina's car because her AC doesn't work. it was literally 108 degrees in her car! so hot! we took the pictures. some of the poses that i had were hard and made my hand or foot fall asleep. nice. i felt like such a slut. i had to sag the skirt a little so my underwear wouldn't show as much. but then you could see part of my underwear at the top. kristina took a picture. gah! but we are going to return the skirts that we got because it's $20 for that little skirt and we only bought it for the pictures. haha! we are so gay! that's ok. we are cool like that. they made fun of my boobs and butt! not nice. we finally got the pictures over with! we got subway! woohoo! yummy! i got steak and cheese. =) we went to alhambra for some reason and back to my house and played scrabble for like two hours. yup. i was out all day! yay! chris is back from PUC! ok. that was my day. it was freaking long! maybe because it was hot and we all pissed each other off. haha! i love my friends. =)

quote: packing is fun!

yay! i got to see megan today.. hi megan! yeah. she came to my church. she goes to my church like every summer. why? i don't know. today i got something in the mail. it was quite interesting. i have to apply for this thing and write a biography about myself. then i might get a scholarship ranging from $1000 to $16000. wow! that's so cool! i hope i get it so that my parents get some help paying for my college. man! freaking A! i want to go to a non-christian college. if you can't accept that then forget you! i just won't go to college. and if you think that sending me off to the philippines to go to college is going to work, then forget about it! it's my life! i have already made my decision! no fuck off and leave me the hell alone! i made my choice. if i have to pay for the college that i want to go to myself, so be it. but i am not going to some damn in the middle of nowhere school like la sierra, PUC or walla walla. i won't even go to stupid loma linda! screw those colleges. i know what i want and i don't care if you support me or not. so just FUCK OFF!

quote: it's happening as expected...

it's been a pretty boring week. i am going to school to register for school tomorrow. i hope i get the classes and the locker that i want. i finally made up my mind. i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin during 6th period instead of TAing for pastor chung during 7th period.. i think. this is so hard! i don't really know why. it just is for me. but i am pretty sure i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin. it just seems better. aah! junior year is going to be cool! but then again, other parts of junior year may not be as grand. it's happening. right now. it is starting. it has begun. more fights. more arguments. more disagreements. aaah.. great times. by the end of junior year we will be so different. we are going to drift. DRIFT I TELL YOU! it is going to be bitter. we won't talk a lot. the only times that we are going to talk are at lunch and maybe after school. and on the phone... but not every day. i know it's not going to be every day. there is just no way. but whatever. i must prepare myself for how things are going to be. but no amount of preperation will ever prepare me for what is going to happen. if it doesn't turn out this way, i will be very surprised. we aren't going to be as close as we are. i don't think we will be getting any closer. the fights are going to be horrible! i will cry. he will cry. we will both cry. we will never go out because i can't or he can't. but then again, that's how it is now. but i am fine with that. i don't really care much about going out. but i care a lot about talking. at most we will talk for two hours. but that's only on occasion. it's really sad. but i guess it had to happen some time. moving on... briggitte found this pretty place for junior senior! omg! i was going to cry when i saw it! it's so pretty! i am so excited to plan the banquet. it will be so cool! haha! we have an officers meeting on friday. great. at least i get to get out of the house for a few hours. it's better than staying at home. that's all for now.. bye.

quote: i am so bored.

i think i have a sleeping problem. i can never go to sleep. well i can but it's really hard. is it because i sleep too much? i don't know. i go to sleep at around 4 am or something like that. but i want to sleep earlier but i can't. i want to go to school so that i can sleep normally. i got to see chris on friday. that's so cool! he's back from san diego! yay! i am going to cancun after graduation. we are going on a cruise. that's so cool! it is going to be a graduation present from my parents. i am going with some of my friends. but they are paying for themselves. i am not paying for them. yeah right. wow! i know the answer to the riddle: "Angry and hungry are two words that end in '-gry'. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it everyday. Look closely and I have already given you the third word." but it's so gay! but whatever. not many people get it. well at least i don't think so. i watched the fireworks from the rose bowl on friday. we went up to a friends house. they are still building their house though. $700,000 for the land and $1.3 million for the house. that's so crazy! but it's so hard to get up to their house! it's like you're going to fall. haha! well it was fun there. that's all i have to say for now. see yah! bye!

quote: i blog. do you?

my bad. i haven't blogged in a while, wouldn't you say so? but that's fine. no one needs to know about my daily life. it's none of your business anyway. haha! i'm just kidding. my family from florida came this week. it has been no stop laughter! my cousins are so funny! my ate sharon showed us this really funny website. i would tell you what it is but i want to keep it all to myself. but it's really funny! it's with flash and it's so cool! but anyway... i went to loma linda yesterday. it was freaking hot!!! geez. how do people live there? it's in the middle of nowhere and the weather is insane!! oh well. never eat at a place called bamboo garden. it's not very good. yah. i was watching that one TV show called "meet my folks" and it was really funny. guys are so stupid! but that's fine. i just hope that i will never fall for a guy like that. haha! ok. i don't know what else to tell you guys. my summer has been very boring except for the last week. ok. peace out. =P

quote: dedicated to RaCheL DaWa! =)

look rachel! i'm blogging! just for you! don't you feel so special?!?! huh! huh! don't ya?! yeah. my day was good. but we have a biology test tomorrow and a spanish test. crap.. oh well. i am going to try not to stress out about it too much. i mean, it's the end of the year. it's about time that i do. i can't believe that sophomore year is almost over. only 7 more school days left. wow! that's a week. and three of those days are only finals. NOOOOOOO! and the seniors are going to graduate. it's going to be weird without them. and we are going to be UPPER CLASSMEN! aaaaahhhh! that's so cool. we can acutally beat people up now... not that i would. i'm nice to the freshmen. really. i won't be missing school too much during the summer. at least i can see chris since he can drive and all. yay-a! mojo can drive! yep yep! i hope that i can see the girls during the summer though. LET'S TAKE PICTURES! yah! for sure this time. no of that "i can't come" or "tkt is closed" or "i have no ride" crap. it's the summer meng! you gotta take pictures with the ladieeez! it's only right. anyway.. moving on.. OPEN YOUR EYES! damn it. even though it's not my problem.. OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES! spend time with her and not it... and spend time with him and not them. omg! is that so hard to follow? honestly! putang ina! ok. that's all rachel. i think i will go now, k. peace out.

quote: one word: AMAZING!

BEACH DAY! woot woot! it was SA's beach picnic thing. i got to spend time with chris! yay! freaking briggitte, sheila, and jina threw me in the water and chris didn't even help me! i swallowed some water though. it was acutally very funny! chris is the hardest person to throw in the water. people should really spend time with their special someone if they are going to be with them. if you choose an object over them then maybe you aren't ready to have a special someone. and i do believe that people need and want attention from their special someone. you can't have a relationship if you don't spend time together. even just talking. is that so hard to do? seriously! but aside from that, today was great! i can't believe i lost in big two. that's crap! so i will lose next time. but it will is all worked out. we have a plan to even it out. ok. i think i will go now. peace out.

quote: i'm a campaign manager.. wow!

jed has a blog? since when? hmm... quite intersting. omg. jed makes me so confused! strongbad? star runner? what is this? yay! i got PR! i am happy. but i feel so bad for winning. ok. i don't want to be like jed and write a buttload on my blog. so long! =)

quote: lizards are scary!

jed is stupid! he tried to hit me with paper. squirt smells like andrew.. or andrew smells like squirt. lizards are weird. ok.

quote: you are an idiot! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

i'm blogging because chris needs something to read. haha! i love you babe! i can't spell hassle. so what?!? andrew is the stupidest guy i know. seriously. he tried to serenade me with an eminem song. but it was the nice part. haha! ok. maybe you had to be there. but whatever. today kind of sucked. but it relieved my mind off of the speaker for the vespers! thank you so much jed! seriously! i couldn't do it without you! but still. today sucked! foshizo! MY KIZZER! i didn't get to do something that i really wanted to do today. stupid coach! it was planned and everything. piece of crap! squirt is so cute! i don't understand why chris doesn't want to kiss him. but that's ok. we had a stpid officers meeting today. i really hate those. i am not sure if i want to run for an office next year. it's kind of yeah. but i think that i will. if i make it then that's great. if i don't then i'm cool with that. ok. sorry chris! i can't think of anything else to write. oh! christopher sungtae ha is the hottest and sexiest person ever! bye! =)

quote: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

first, BIG SUR WAS FUN! ok. that's all i'm going to say. now... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? oh my gosh! what is going on? if you are going to have a relationship with someone, make sure it's ONLY WITH THAT ONE PERSON! don't make it seem like you like someone else. i understand that people like to spend time with other people. but you don't have to be all up on them and touchy feely. tsk tsk! why are people like that?
geez. friends are so complicated. MY KIZZER! why you gotta have competition, huh? it's just seems so wrong. oh well! they can't work it out themselves.
what is the point of long term relationships while you are still in high school? isn't it the time in our lives where we should have a lot of bFs/gFs so that we know what we want in a guy. i know that if you have someone and are pretty sure you are satisfied with them then you want to stay with them. but what if you leave that person and go "explore" other things and you find something better? then what? see. i don't know anymore. i'm not saying i want to stop the relationship that i have but i just want someone to answer my question. no one seems to know that answer and it really bugs. aren't we supposed to be exploring new things and not just settle for what you have now? it's so complicated! does anyone know what the point of long term relationships are? anyone?

quote: i think we're going to break up soon.

I'M GETTING FISH! i think that i will name them boba and bubbles. yah. that sounds about right. ok. back to my day. it was crap! i went to the mall and my mom just pissed me off so bad! i hate going shopping with her. i saw the panda and koala shirts at american eagle but she wouldn't let me get it! that's so gay! they are like the coolest shirts ever! UGH! anyway. back to the real reason to why i am blogging. i think that chris and i are going to break up some time soon. i can't take it anymore! we fight so much and it's not just one thing. it is a collection of all these different things that have collected over time. i just can't take all this getting mad. but then again that part is my fault. i don't understand why he puts up with it. he says it's because he loves me and he cares and he doesn't know how he could live without me. but i think that we are better off seperated. i just want to give up! i'm so tired of feeling like my heart is being torn. if we broke up we would eventually get over each other even if it took a long time. i don't want to give up the best thing that happened to me. but now, it's just getting to be so horrible. we have drifted apart so much. and with summer coming we are going to drift apart even more. I HATE THIS!

quote: eeewwww. gross!

superficial people are so gay! i was watching that one show "are you hot?" oh my goodness. it's so stupid! it's a bunch of people that are judging you by the way they look. it's so stupid! ugh. whatever. i don't care anymore! T.A.T.U. is a weird band. they are lesbians! why do they have to make out in their music video. i hate it when people are shooting a video and they are making out and they go in for a close up. i mean come on! we don't need to see what's going on up in there!!! their tongues are everywhere! it's so gross! is it really necessary for them to do that? honestly! hey! junior senior banquet is tomorrow. i get to serve stuff. heh! BLAH!

quote: we're on a break.

i would have to say that the past week was the crappiest week ever! i caused so much trouble between chris and i. i must be the most stupid person ever. look where we are now. it sucks so much! i can't even describe how i feel right now. why am i so retarded? i feel like crap! CRAP! this spring break is going to suck. wow! i has been a year since i told him that i liked him. i can't believe it! last spring break i talked to him like everyday of the week. this spring break when we are acutally together, we aren't even talking. this sucks.

quote: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I'M SO SCREWED!

the past to days were crap! yesterday, my parents got my grades. i got a bad grade in spanish because stupid ms. gordon only put on 3 entries for our grades. so it looks like im stupid. man! i cried so much! this morning, my eyes were all puffy and stuff. school was ok. we had the surprise thing for joanna today. it went well. everything was going ok. i was going to get shaved ice and everything.. then chris called. he tells me that snyder just got off the phone with my mom because she asked about my grade. he told her that there might me a distraction and that i have a boyfriend. crap. and it all went south from there. i asked teo if he could run me over with his car. i would rather die than face my parents. but eventually i had to. i walked in and my dad was like, "hey! how's the boyfriends?" geez. they gave me a lecture and all that gibberish. i cried like a mother! oh well! they want me to sit away from chris and break up with him. the sit away part i will do. but i'm not breaking up with him. screw that!

quote: kick away the need... DANG IT! kick it away!

it is such a sad yet joyous day for me. today, my "baby" commit suicide. rachel was throwing it to me. but i was not aware. it was all so sudden. i saw something fly. i asked rachel if it was my beloved "baby," my eraser. she nodded. i tried to look for it under the tables during biology. no where. yes. no where to be found. i thought it was under the front table. i was mistakened. the last time i saw my beloved was when it jumped off of my backpack. i ask, "why? why leave me now?" yes i knew that it was bound to happen some day. but i was hoping that it would die and not commit suicide or get kidnapped or lost. i hoped that it would die like a normal and natural death, by being used up by all the erasing that it has to do. but no. it died a tragic death. i mourn for the loss of my beloved eraser by being hyper and happy on the outside. but truely, on the inside, i am in pain. in pain because my "baby" is gone. forever. but wait. it may not be. it may still be alive. it may still be in mr snyder's room. there, on the floor, waiting for me to come and bring it home. but that is just a maybe. a small maybe. it is a maybe hanging by a small thread. after a while, if i do not find "my baby" i will eventually end my mourning. but do not fret. i have a new eraser in my life. rachel gave it to me for my birthday. i was planning on using it when "my baby" was gone. and i guess, i guess now is the time for me to use it. i did not name "my baby" before. but i will now. my new one is called DAVE. yes. DAVE. i plan to have many joyous times with dave. he is good to me. people say he is better than "my baby," but i beg to differ. "my baby" was with me ever since third grade. we have been through so much. i will keep those memories in my heart forever. "my baby" R.I.P. remember, i bought you in chinatown for $1. i hope you are happy in your "eraser heaven." it is a good place. no more rubbing on paper or desks. just a calm and peaceful environment. GOOD-BYE "MY BABY"... HELLO DAVE.

quote: *sigh* the bitter and the sweet... what can i say... i just have more sweet.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! my valentines day was excellent and dee-lite-fool. woot woot! i have a valentine and YOU don't. it's ok. don't fret. it's all good. i got two message in a balloon. not one. but TWO! but chris only meant to get me one. they accidentally gave me two. oh well. more candy for me! heeh! ok. i can't tell you much or else you guys will hit me or something. but i will tell you this.. I HAVE SPIDE SENSE!

quote: woohoo! it's my birthday! sweet 16!

today was acutally more than just ok. it was excellent! yah! i was pretty mad at first because i didn't want people knowing about my birthday. but oh well. freaking michelle, chris, rachel, and veronica! man! piss me off! it got better as the day went by. i was so hyper today! yeah! LET'S DANCE! ha ha ha! poor chris. he seemed so sad/mad today. but that all went away. stupid ms. gordon. but thanks to her trusty helpers in the balloon committee, i got my balloons from chris. wow! i actually got balloons! it was so embarrassing getting them at LAB though. that was the last class that i would think they would sing happy birthday to me. no seriously. even snyder sang. hmm... weird. the rest of the day went by great! chris got my flowers! OMG! that is sooo sweet! i can't believe that he actually got that for me! awww! i went to japanese village with jen and mark. we ate mexican food. WOW! soo YUMMY! i ate mango mochi and kona coffee mochi! yay! i got stars to make for "people." tee hee! we had this complicated plan on how to get the flowers into my house. haha! A HOOT! ok. that's all. happy birthday to me! wee!

quote: chicago!

yay! i gotto see him 3 times! woot woot! 3 times is a lot compared to other times. hahaha! we're funny. crack me up funny! i can't wait until tuesday. actually, i can't wait until friday because i get my frap ad nM&Ms! YAY! food. i'm going to win a bet and i'm happy. vacation is crap. i'm bored! someone take me somewhere! i'm mad a vince! he took erin to the loft but he didn't take me. i get to go there twice now! TWICE! sucka! hey! we should have a joint party! come on! we are going to turn 16 and we should have lots and lots of fun! yeah! we can go to todai and then have a party at kevin's. because of course we can't have it at my house or at erin's house. yah kevin's house! woot squared!

quote: megan is in the philippines. i'm so jealous!

aiya! i was so bored today! i didn't even want to go to that 50th anniversary thing. i don't even know those people! they seem so stuck up. eh. stupid high class filipinos. anyway. it was boring. do people expect for me to go with them somewhere when they don't even tell me? i mean seriously. do you people think that i know what's going on when you don't tell me crap!?!? my gosh! you know what, you guys can just do whatever you want. i will just stay here and do my own thing because what you guys are doing is really pissing me off. it may be a stupid thing to be upset about but that's how it is for me. damn it. i give up. it doesn't really matter to me anymore. i don't want to be a part of this whole thing anymore. it just gets me more and more angry. ::subject warp:: megan is gone! nooo! this sucks. i don't get to talk to her for like forever! at least i get some stuff from the philippines that i actually like. the only things that i get from the philippines is that mango/tamarind stuff. it's pretty good though but i keep getting those stuff. and all the other stuff is getting old. yay! i get stuff. oh crap! i have to go christmas shopping. eh. there's aren't many people to buy for so it's ok. feelings: sad, mad, upset, blah, happy, bored.

quote: omg. who cares about cliques!

omg! it pisses me off. people think that they are the only ones that do anything. well guess what... YOU'RE NOT! geez. people do things too. and you know what? i don't like you in that position! grr. i never wanted you there! and stop talking about cliques. GET OVER IT! it's not loke you're not in one. and it's not like you are doing anything about it anyway. so don't be a hypocrite and tell us what to do when you aren't doing it either. stupid person! piss me off...

quote: bible videos... sigh.

wow mama! i haven't blogged in a while. sorry megan. the banquet was fun! =) i had tons of fun. the bus ride was the best. it always is. but this year was special... hehe. i LOVED sunday night. it was the best! for real. i think that we sang pretty well. don't you agree? well that's just my opinion so you don't have to take it. lilo & stitch was so cool! freakin chris! he practically memorizes the whole movie. loser butt! but i still love you. omg. the christmas banquet was a wonderful night. or should i say excellent and delightful. ha ha ha! i crack myself up. gee gosh! they didn't even have any stupid cockroaches at that stupid yacht club or however you spell it. ergh. people have to start appreciating cockraoches. hmm yes. anyway, off the topic of the banquet... THE BIBLE PROJECT!!! so much work to do. i mean we are already done but it was just so stressful. my goodness. i will never do that again this sophomore year. seriously. i won't. i will just stick with book reports and some of the other things that we can do for bible projects. i am not up for the type of stress in the near future. but it was really funny when we were filming. freaking bob! it took him forever just to get the one line down. but it was funny. this week pooped me out. ha ha ha! funny word. but at least i got to have some fun today. so it's ok. i'm tired. time for ZzZzz. payce... (funny work)

quote: megan hates me... well she used to. wow! everyone hates everyone. what a lovely world.

DAMN YOU, SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE!

yo! what's up g dawg? erh? holy mother... i haven't blogged in a long time. eh. it's not like anyone reads this. except for danny. geez. people are bored... hahaha! it's so cold in my house. it is usually normal temp. hmm.... in-ter-es-ting. we are never going to go to SANTA MONICA. sorry. that was probably my bad. YAY! christmas banquet is going to be so cool! i am so happy! it will be fun! only four more days until the big day. dang. it sounds like i'm getting married.. "the big day..." but that won't be happening in another ten years or so. so it's ok. i finally got shoes to go with my dress. they are ok shoes, i guess. but they make me four to five inches taller. woow! at least i can be closer to chris' height than i am now. i mean the difference between us is ten to eleven inches. TEN TO ELEVEN FREAKING INCHES! that's almost oen whole foot! that's what i get for being short and going out with a tall korean boy. it's ok. by then end of this whole banquet thing, i will have spent about $120. that's not bad. i guess. shoes were more expensive than i wanted them to be. but it's ok. i can live with it. oh my freaking gosh! what happened to me today was weird. i was walking with my dad at santa anita mall. we were done buying my shoes and we were going to leave. this lady stops us and tells my dad that she was looking at me and thinks that i'm "so cute." ok...? then she starts talking to me about acting, commercials, modeling, and pictures. i was like, "what the...?" i tried making up excuses to get out of it but she would turn the tables on me. like for instance, i said that i was shy. (LIES!) and she said that they are doing this so they could get rid of my shyness. damn it. my dad said that it was up to me. i really didn't want to do it so i just turned her down. it was so weird. i find it funny. i am not into that modeling stuff. and besides, why do i have to do it? i already have people that care about me and love me just the way i am. sorry. but i am not superficial. i'm not like some people. geez. and when she was talking about all that stuff that she had to offer i was thinking, "you MUST be those fake people that try to rip people off by telling them that they are meant to be all that stuff because why would you pick ME out of all the people in the mall?" seroiusly. but eh, whatever. i bet she just picked random people and stopped them when they passed by. she even made me smile and turn my head to a certain angle. weirdo. ok. it was a funny experience though.

quote:i don't have one. eh...

i'm so bored. stupid vacation. as of now, i have absolutely no feelings for anything or anyone. i am totally numb. maybe it's because i am really tired. hmm. i don't know. whatever. it kind of sucks to feel this way. it's like i don't care about anyone or anything. ha! funny. carefree! woop ti woop. but theh, once in a while, i feel fear. eh. too lazy to type. peace out.