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northern in two weeks! i need to make a northern mix for the ride up and the ride down. well that would only be one mix but i would listen to it on the ride up and the ride down. yeah. anyway. i just realized that there is no one to miss me anymore. wow. that sounds so conceited. but i mean there is no one that will say "aww! i missed you so much!" or "man! why do you have to go? i am going to miss you like crazy!" that just made me a little sad. just something else to get over.
i was watching EVERWOOD last night and it made me really sad. ephrim and i are like this! we are going though the same crap! but i have been through what he is going through right now. but i felt his pain! and watching it brought back all this other crap for me too.
well we did our debate today. we have to finish tomorrow. we are getting KILLED! oh well. at least we know that we tried and that we did our best. that is really all that matters. i like my team. we are a cool bunch!
life has been ok. chris and i are ok. we are not best friends but we are friends. so that is good. not being best friends like planned is just another thing to get over. ok. i am going to get going now. payce yo! =)
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Sunday, April 11, 2004
why didn't you fight for me?
"..now i think that moral fiber is about finding that one thing that you really care about.. that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. and when you find her.. you fight for her. you risk it all. you put her in frnot of everything.. your future, your life.. all of it..and maybe the stuff you do to hlep her isn't so clean.. but you know what? but it doesnt matter.. cus in your heart you know.. that the juice is worth the squeeze. thats what moral fiber is all about." - sean's profile
i do not know why i feel this way but i do. i feel bad but it is just how i feel. =/
well so much for being best friends.
"..now i think that moral fiber is about finding that one thing that you really care about.. that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. and when you find her.. you fight for her. you risk it all. you put her in frnot of everything.. your future, your life.. all of it..and maybe the stuff you do to hlep her isn't so clean.. but you know what? but it doesnt matter.. cus in your heart you know.. that the juice is worth the squeeze. thats what moral fiber is all about." - sean's profile
i do not know why i feel this way but i do. i feel bad but it is just how i feel. =/
well so much for being best friends.
Thursday, April 08, 2004
i miss...
i miss playing cards in the hallway. i miss walking to school. i miss the convenience of things. i miss going to the cafe after school. i miss walking to school with kristina. i miss white memorial school. i miss everyone living in the high rise. i miss going to people's houses in the high rise. i miss summer day camp. i miss staff training. i miss raging waters. i miss swim day. i miss the funny feeling you get inside when you like someone. i miss holding hands. i miss kisses on the cheek. i miss kisses on the hand. i miss kisses in general. i miss rings. i miss hugs. i miss bear hugs. i miss having someone come up behind you and squeeze you. i miss being with someone. i miss the first time you hold someone's hand. i miss just sitting there with your significant other and not saying a word. i miss knowing that just sitting there spending time together without saying a word brings us closer together. i miss having a best friend. i miss being able to talk to someone about anything. i miss playing with hair. i miss someone playing with my hair. i miss being held. i miss i miss my friends. i miss too many damn things!
i miss playing cards in the hallway. i miss walking to school. i miss the convenience of things. i miss going to the cafe after school. i miss walking to school with kristina. i miss white memorial school. i miss everyone living in the high rise. i miss going to people's houses in the high rise. i miss summer day camp. i miss staff training. i miss raging waters. i miss swim day. i miss the funny feeling you get inside when you like someone. i miss holding hands. i miss kisses on the cheek. i miss kisses on the hand. i miss kisses in general. i miss rings. i miss hugs. i miss bear hugs. i miss having someone come up behind you and squeeze you. i miss being with someone. i miss the first time you hold someone's hand. i miss just sitting there with your significant other and not saying a word. i miss knowing that just sitting there spending time together without saying a word brings us closer together. i miss having a best friend. i miss being able to talk to someone about anything. i miss playing with hair. i miss someone playing with my hair. i miss being held. i miss i miss my friends. i miss too many damn things!
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
this song is dedicated to all of my friends whom i love so very much I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
When every moment gets too hard
The end of the road can feel so far
No matter how much time we'll part
I'm always near you
I'll be the shelter in your rain
Help you find your smile again
I'll make you laugh if you have a broken heart
Wherever you are
Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend
So many people come and go
Nothing can change the you I know
You'll never be just a face in the crowd
And time will show
Through the seasons and the years
I will always hold you dear
Never you fear
Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend
I'll be around when every candle burns down low
And I want you to know...
Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend
I Will Be Your Friend by Coco Lee
When every moment gets too hard
The end of the road can feel so far
No matter how much time we'll part
I'm always near you
I'll be the shelter in your rain
Help you find your smile again
I'll make you laugh if you have a broken heart
Wherever you are
Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend
So many people come and go
Nothing can change the you I know
You'll never be just a face in the crowd
And time will show
Through the seasons and the years
I will always hold you dear
Never you fear
Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend
I'll be around when every candle burns down low
And I want you to know...
Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend
I Will Be Your Friend by Coco Lee
Sunday, March 28, 2004
'til i get over you by michelle branch
everytime i feel alone
i can blame it on you
and i do, oh
you got me like a loaded gun
golden sun and sky so blue
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice
chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
sometimes i watch the world go by
i wonder what it's like
to wake up every single day
smile on your face
you never tried
we both know we can't change it
but we both know we'll just have to face it
chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
if only i could give you up
but would i want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice
chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
we both know that i'm not over you
i'm not over you
*(chaque fois que to ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien)
everytime you walk away, i pretend that i'm okay
everytime i feel alone
i can blame it on you
and i do, oh
you got me like a loaded gun
golden sun and sky so blue
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice
chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
sometimes i watch the world go by
i wonder what it's like
to wake up every single day
smile on your face
you never tried
we both know we can't change it
but we both know we'll just have to face it
chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
if only i could give you up
but would i want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice
chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
we both know that i'm not over you
i'm not over you
*(chaque fois que to ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien)
everytime you walk away, i pretend that i'm okay
Thursday, March 25, 2004
quote: why does it hurt so much? will it always hurt this much?
alright. i am being vulnerable. i am putting all of my emotions at the moment on the table. whenever i do this my mind always seems to go blank. after chris and i broke up of course i cried my eyes out. then after a while i stopped crying but everything just seemed so screwed up. chris and i did not even have a relationship anymore. we would not talk at all and when we did for some reason we would end up fighting. that is my fault. i was so anxious for spring break to come because maybe i could clear my head and start getting over him. but for some reason that is not the case. we talk online a little but i do not know. spring break has been crap for me. i cannot even spend time with my friends because my dad is in the philippines and no one can drive me anywhere. the last time i saw anyone from school was on saturday and that was jenelyn. i have only talked to about five people online this whole week and that sucks. i really just want high school to be over with. it seems like the pain just keeps coming back and it never goes away! i just want to feel better! and last night did not help at all. i was going to go to sleep but i ended up thinking of how much i missed him and all the things we have been through. then i started to think about how i handled this whole break up and how i drove him away. now he probably does not want to be my friend anymore. and even if we did get anther chance to be together i doubt that he would want to. i know that he deserves to be happy and i want him to be happy. but it hurts to see him so happy and realize that i am not the one that makes him happy anymore and never will be. i kind of envy him because it seems like he can just brush it off his shoulders and be happy. i wish that i could be happy. i do not know how he does it. how can he get over someone he has been with for about two years and be happy? i wish i knew his secret because i could use some of the joy right about now. i thought that my tears would be all gone by now. but they just keep coming! i just miss him. i miss how we used to talk on the phone for hours and never get tired of each other. we would talk about everything. have you ever been with someone that was also your best friend? (jed gets it.) and when you guys break up it is the hardest thing in the world to let go of. i am still trying to let go. it is just so damn hard! i am sorry if people are fed up with me and this whole thing. but if you are then just tell me and I WILL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU! aiya! i need emotional support! hmm... i used to get that from him. now everything has changed. i cannot even talk to him anymore. about anything! but i should not expect anything from him since we are not together or really friends. which sucks. last night i had horrible dreams. it was like my nightmares were coming true. i was sitting in a room with *****. (i do not want to mention her name.) and i asked her who she was going to go with to junior senior. i suggested that she go with chris because i think that something will happen between them. then she calls him and they start talking and i guess sparks fly and yeah. that is a nightmare for me, that chris will move on faster than i will and with another person. then i had all these other dreams about me and chris and i could not sleep. i kept tossing and turning. i was half awake and half dreaming. it was horrible! my heart felt to heavy because it hurt so much. it was a horrible night! i wish i could be happy. i wish i could talk to him. i wish i could be his friend again. i wish lots of things. i hate how things are. i hate how i drove him away. i hate that i lost my best friend. my spring break sucks. everyone got to do something. i have been so lonely! just sitting here alone with my thoughts. do you know how that can drive a person nuts?!?! well i really do not know what else to write. it is time for me to stop being vulnerable. peace.
alright. i am being vulnerable. i am putting all of my emotions at the moment on the table. whenever i do this my mind always seems to go blank. after chris and i broke up of course i cried my eyes out. then after a while i stopped crying but everything just seemed so screwed up. chris and i did not even have a relationship anymore. we would not talk at all and when we did for some reason we would end up fighting. that is my fault. i was so anxious for spring break to come because maybe i could clear my head and start getting over him. but for some reason that is not the case. we talk online a little but i do not know. spring break has been crap for me. i cannot even spend time with my friends because my dad is in the philippines and no one can drive me anywhere. the last time i saw anyone from school was on saturday and that was jenelyn. i have only talked to about five people online this whole week and that sucks. i really just want high school to be over with. it seems like the pain just keeps coming back and it never goes away! i just want to feel better! and last night did not help at all. i was going to go to sleep but i ended up thinking of how much i missed him and all the things we have been through. then i started to think about how i handled this whole break up and how i drove him away. now he probably does not want to be my friend anymore. and even if we did get anther chance to be together i doubt that he would want to. i know that he deserves to be happy and i want him to be happy. but it hurts to see him so happy and realize that i am not the one that makes him happy anymore and never will be. i kind of envy him because it seems like he can just brush it off his shoulders and be happy. i wish that i could be happy. i do not know how he does it. how can he get over someone he has been with for about two years and be happy? i wish i knew his secret because i could use some of the joy right about now. i thought that my tears would be all gone by now. but they just keep coming! i just miss him. i miss how we used to talk on the phone for hours and never get tired of each other. we would talk about everything. have you ever been with someone that was also your best friend? (jed gets it.) and when you guys break up it is the hardest thing in the world to let go of. i am still trying to let go. it is just so damn hard! i am sorry if people are fed up with me and this whole thing. but if you are then just tell me and I WILL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU! aiya! i need emotional support! hmm... i used to get that from him. now everything has changed. i cannot even talk to him anymore. about anything! but i should not expect anything from him since we are not together or really friends. which sucks. last night i had horrible dreams. it was like my nightmares were coming true. i was sitting in a room with *****. (i do not want to mention her name.) and i asked her who she was going to go with to junior senior. i suggested that she go with chris because i think that something will happen between them. then she calls him and they start talking and i guess sparks fly and yeah. that is a nightmare for me, that chris will move on faster than i will and with another person. then i had all these other dreams about me and chris and i could not sleep. i kept tossing and turning. i was half awake and half dreaming. it was horrible! my heart felt to heavy because it hurt so much. it was a horrible night! i wish i could be happy. i wish i could talk to him. i wish i could be his friend again. i wish lots of things. i hate how things are. i hate how i drove him away. i hate that i lost my best friend. my spring break sucks. everyone got to do something. i have been so lonely! just sitting here alone with my thoughts. do you know how that can drive a person nuts?!?! well i really do not know what else to write. it is time for me to stop being vulnerable. peace.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
quote: "the worse thing is that i lost my best friend."
look! i am blogging! this is new. i know i do not usually blog and i have to tell people when i do. but then i only told bryan and chris so it is so stupid! wow! the last time i blogged was on december 29. that is so crazy! my entry was very gag me. but that is ok. well since then chris and i broke up because his mom wanted us apart since we are too young and i am not korean. great. i am trying to get over it but it is really hard. i mean it already hurts that i lost my boyfriend and that we will never be together but what hurts even more is that i also lost my best friend. we used to talk all the time on the phone. we would talk about stupid stuff and sometimes even gossip. he was my best friend. and now everything has changed. we still talk but not talk talk. we say hi and mess around with each other but we do not talk like we used to. i know that it is not his fault and i am not blaming him or anyone. i just miss those times. i wish we could talk more and stay connected. i want the connection that we had. but i know that we will never have it back. for my extra credit english poem i am going to write about this. i am going to title it “forever” because i lost my best friend forever. i miss my best friend.
look! i am blogging! this is new. i know i do not usually blog and i have to tell people when i do. but then i only told bryan and chris so it is so stupid! wow! the last time i blogged was on december 29. that is so crazy! my entry was very gag me. but that is ok. well since then chris and i broke up because his mom wanted us apart since we are too young and i am not korean. great. i am trying to get over it but it is really hard. i mean it already hurts that i lost my boyfriend and that we will never be together but what hurts even more is that i also lost my best friend. we used to talk all the time on the phone. we would talk about stupid stuff and sometimes even gossip. he was my best friend. and now everything has changed. we still talk but not talk talk. we say hi and mess around with each other but we do not talk like we used to. i know that it is not his fault and i am not blaming him or anyone. i just miss those times. i wish we could talk more and stay connected. i want the connection that we had. but i know that we will never have it back. for my extra credit english poem i am going to write about this. i am going to title it “forever” because i lost my best friend forever. i miss my best friend.
Monday, December 29, 2003
Thursday, November 13, 2003
quote: wow! i haven't blogged in a long time!
this blog is dedicated to NUMBER ONE! hi number one! i do not really have time to blgo anymore. ap us is killing me! we had a test today. i think i did ok. but the cycle begins again! haha! since no one probably reads this except chris, i will just write to chris. hey babe! how are you? i am so bored! it's thursday and it's my kick back day. i love it! i am watching will and grace. it is such a funny show! man. i am really bad at blogging. i never know what to write. AAAHHHH! I AM SO MAD! I CANNOT GO TO THE STUPID FRIENDS TAPING BECAUSE I AM NOT 18! GRRR! oh well! at least i can stay for vespers tomorrow and spend time with number 1! ok. sorry but i do not know what else to write. sorry babe! check back some other time! i love you! bye!
this blog is dedicated to NUMBER ONE! hi number one! i do not really have time to blgo anymore. ap us is killing me! we had a test today. i think i did ok. but the cycle begins again! haha! since no one probably reads this except chris, i will just write to chris. hey babe! how are you? i am so bored! it's thursday and it's my kick back day. i love it! i am watching will and grace. it is such a funny show! man. i am really bad at blogging. i never know what to write. AAAHHHH! I AM SO MAD! I CANNOT GO TO THE STUPID FRIENDS TAPING BECAUSE I AM NOT 18! GRRR! oh well! at least i can stay for vespers tomorrow and spend time with number 1! ok. sorry but i do not know what else to write. sorry babe! check back some other time! i love you! bye!
Sunday, September 07, 2003
quote: BJ KISSED ME!
today was so fun! i went to church and blah blah blah. kris came from surfing with will. she wants to be a surfer chick now. we went to get thai deli. we ate it on the second floor since aj and bj were there. they are both so cute! bj doesn't smile a lot but when he does it's like the sun! achibooboo! kris and i had to go somewhere. so aj and bj gave us hugs and kisses. aj kissed me on the cheek but bj kissed me on the lips. it was so weird and funny at the same time! i feel so special. see.. even if i'm not with someone i can still get kissed. haha! vince was there. he was like "hold my hand." he's so weird. he has a car now and is working. what a queen! kristina had to go get a haircut so i went with her so that i was not at home doing nothing and thinking about what happened. but it was so gay because we went to koreatown so i still thought about it. then we wanted to do something after so we asked her hair stylist where to go. she suggested the grove. it was so cool there! there were a bunch of cool stores. their forever 21 is the best! seriously! i had the best caramel frap today! it was at the cafe in barnes and nobles. kris and i went back home and blah. i talked to chris. i didn't cry! wow! i am amazed! i did other stuff and bleck!
today was so fun! i went to church and blah blah blah. kris came from surfing with will. she wants to be a surfer chick now. we went to get thai deli. we ate it on the second floor since aj and bj were there. they are both so cute! bj doesn't smile a lot but when he does it's like the sun! achibooboo! kris and i had to go somewhere. so aj and bj gave us hugs and kisses. aj kissed me on the cheek but bj kissed me on the lips. it was so weird and funny at the same time! i feel so special. see.. even if i'm not with someone i can still get kissed. haha! vince was there. he was like "hold my hand." he's so weird. he has a car now and is working. what a queen! kristina had to go get a haircut so i went with her so that i was not at home doing nothing and thinking about what happened. but it was so gay because we went to koreatown so i still thought about it. then we wanted to do something after so we asked her hair stylist where to go. she suggested the grove. it was so cool there! there were a bunch of cool stores. their forever 21 is the best! seriously! i had the best caramel frap today! it was at the cafe in barnes and nobles. kris and i went back home and blah. i talked to chris. i didn't cry! wow! i am amazed! i did other stuff and bleck!
Friday, September 05, 2003
quote: WE BROKE UP!
CHRIS BROKE UP WITH ME! yes. he did. he did last night. he was going to do it in person at school but i read his xanga and i figured it out. i called megan, jen, and rachel. i was freaking out. yah. we broke up. he broke up with me. it's so weird. i called jen after and then i called kris. kristina really made me feel better. she wants to castrate him. it's so funny! but i don't want her to do that. school today was so weird. i got to school and i told andrew and michelle. for some reason i started to cry. and then bryan came and i cried. rachel and bryan hugged me. i felt a little better. megan hugged me and so did jina. i got lots of hugs today. man. i didn't even want this break up. it's so hard for me. but i thank God that i have such incredible friends that care about me and love me and are there for me whenever i need them. i went through the day putting on a happy front. sometimes it was really hard for me to seem happy but i did it anyway. sometimes i would be walking and be all happy then all of a sudden i would have a mood swing and be sad. i hated it. marvin and khaing were going through it and i was so pissed off so see them together and happy and back together. i mean i am really happy for them but it just sucks that it can't happen to me. i got a notes from jen and erin. they were like warm and fuzzies. aww. i was not in the car washing mood. i really wasn't. it was hot and i felt like crap. my bitter anger showed later in the afternoon. bryan, megan, kyle and i went to burger king. it was so scary because i sat in the back seat of kyle's car and it was folded so i didn't have an actual seat. so i had to hang on to the seat in front of me. kyle has ADD. it's so funny! i was going to ride in the back again but megan was like, "no, i want to be dangerous." haha! i farted so many times. one time bryan actual got to smell it. sucker! bryan and megan gave me a note too. it was so sweet! i love you guys! you guys are the best! all of my friends are the best. jenelyn and i are supposed to go out tonight. so yah. man. i want him back. i have a song. it's "'til i get over you" by michelle branch. yup. i don't know what else to say. THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED ME OUT! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
CHRIS BROKE UP WITH ME! yes. he did. he did last night. he was going to do it in person at school but i read his xanga and i figured it out. i called megan, jen, and rachel. i was freaking out. yah. we broke up. he broke up with me. it's so weird. i called jen after and then i called kris. kristina really made me feel better. she wants to castrate him. it's so funny! but i don't want her to do that. school today was so weird. i got to school and i told andrew and michelle. for some reason i started to cry. and then bryan came and i cried. rachel and bryan hugged me. i felt a little better. megan hugged me and so did jina. i got lots of hugs today. man. i didn't even want this break up. it's so hard for me. but i thank God that i have such incredible friends that care about me and love me and are there for me whenever i need them. i went through the day putting on a happy front. sometimes it was really hard for me to seem happy but i did it anyway. sometimes i would be walking and be all happy then all of a sudden i would have a mood swing and be sad. i hated it. marvin and khaing were going through it and i was so pissed off so see them together and happy and back together. i mean i am really happy for them but it just sucks that it can't happen to me. i got a notes from jen and erin. they were like warm and fuzzies. aww. i was not in the car washing mood. i really wasn't. it was hot and i felt like crap. my bitter anger showed later in the afternoon. bryan, megan, kyle and i went to burger king. it was so scary because i sat in the back seat of kyle's car and it was folded so i didn't have an actual seat. so i had to hang on to the seat in front of me. kyle has ADD. it's so funny! i was going to ride in the back again but megan was like, "no, i want to be dangerous." haha! i farted so many times. one time bryan actual got to smell it. sucker! bryan and megan gave me a note too. it was so sweet! i love you guys! you guys are the best! all of my friends are the best. jenelyn and i are supposed to go out tonight. so yah. man. i want him back. i have a song. it's "'til i get over you" by michelle branch. yup. i don't know what else to say. THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED ME OUT! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Saturday, August 30, 2003
quote: i have a weird family!
i love my family! they are so funny! they are watching tapes of us and all that. my cousin was saying that they should stop watching them and start making new memories. it's so gay because they are watching tapes that just happened like three months ago. yah well. that's my family. they sing a lot! and not all of us have great voices so you must imagine how that is. anyway, my week was ok. i haven't blogged in a while. it's not like i have much time with AP US. it's not hard but we just have to read a lot. but it doesn't take long to read, i just study a lot after so it takes be like an hour and a half to two hours. it's fine since i finish all my other stuff during TA. i love that period. i don't do anything. i do some stuff for ms. pongvarin but it doesn't take that long, and the rest of the time is free. so i do my homework. if i have homework, it is usually just bible, AP US, and foods. it's so funny! this week was not all that great. chris and i went through a rough patch again. he was going to break up with me. i don't blame him but yah. we were on a break for like a day then i don't know what happened to it. my eyes looked all retarded on thursday because i was crying the night before. ugh. i hate it when my eyes are like that. i look stupid! and it feels funny. chris tried to talk to me but i wasn't really in the mood to talk to him. i would talk to everyone else but him. i was just not in the mood. i guess i need more time or whatever. but then i started to talk to him more. and that's that. we got through it. GAP wasn't all that successful. i was bored and hot most of the time, but then someone wet me. great. FAS was very good. i liked it a lot. at first i didn't want to go but then i did since i had nothing better to do after school. and it was a good thing i went. EVERYONE, GO TO FAS EVER FRIDAY AT 1:45 PM!
i love my family! they are so funny! they are watching tapes of us and all that. my cousin was saying that they should stop watching them and start making new memories. it's so gay because they are watching tapes that just happened like three months ago. yah well. that's my family. they sing a lot! and not all of us have great voices so you must imagine how that is. anyway, my week was ok. i haven't blogged in a while. it's not like i have much time with AP US. it's not hard but we just have to read a lot. but it doesn't take long to read, i just study a lot after so it takes be like an hour and a half to two hours. it's fine since i finish all my other stuff during TA. i love that period. i don't do anything. i do some stuff for ms. pongvarin but it doesn't take that long, and the rest of the time is free. so i do my homework. if i have homework, it is usually just bible, AP US, and foods. it's so funny! this week was not all that great. chris and i went through a rough patch again. he was going to break up with me. i don't blame him but yah. we were on a break for like a day then i don't know what happened to it. my eyes looked all retarded on thursday because i was crying the night before. ugh. i hate it when my eyes are like that. i look stupid! and it feels funny. chris tried to talk to me but i wasn't really in the mood to talk to him. i would talk to everyone else but him. i was just not in the mood. i guess i need more time or whatever. but then i started to talk to him more. and that's that. we got through it. GAP wasn't all that successful. i was bored and hot most of the time, but then someone wet me. great. FAS was very good. i liked it a lot. at first i didn't want to go but then i did since i had nothing better to do after school. and it was a good thing i went. EVERYONE, GO TO FAS EVER FRIDAY AT 1:45 PM!
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
quote: JUNIOR SUCKS!... already.
man! i hate junior year already. i thought that sophomore year was going to be crap but it was not that bad. and i thought that junior year was going to be a ball. but guess what? it's not! i hate it! i am so tired and it's so hot and i have no time for anything or no one has anytime for me or anything else. but whatever. i guess i just have to get over it and move on with my miserable life. i have 5 classes with rachel, mike, jason, and byron. that's so funny! mike is going to be funny! our english class is going to be so cool! there are like 20 of us in that class! and we have cool people so she will have more fun with us. that's right! but whatever. that's the only good thing going for me right now.
man! i hate junior year already. i thought that sophomore year was going to be crap but it was not that bad. and i thought that junior year was going to be a ball. but guess what? it's not! i hate it! i am so tired and it's so hot and i have no time for anything or no one has anytime for me or anything else. but whatever. i guess i just have to get over it and move on with my miserable life. i have 5 classes with rachel, mike, jason, and byron. that's so funny! mike is going to be funny! our english class is going to be so cool! there are like 20 of us in that class! and we have cool people so she will have more fun with us. that's right! but whatever. that's the only good thing going for me right now.
Monday, August 18, 2003
quote: school is starting in two days!
dang! summer is over already. at times it seemed like it dragged but overall, it was really short. but that's fine. i kind of wanted to go back to school. i brought my dad to the airport today. he was going to the philippines. it's gay because now my kuya has to bring me to school. whatever. that's ok. i get faceplates from the philippines. they are so cheap there! but then again everything is cheap there. ooh! tomorrow is going to be so fun! i am going out with chris. we are going shopping. we are going to glendale galleria so that chris can get collared shirts. it's going to be so fun! chris has never been to glendale galleria so it will be cool. the tonight show is so funny! yah. i don't have much to say. i thought that i would but it turns out that i don't. oh well! omg! planning the junior senior banquet is going to be so fun! whee!
dang! summer is over already. at times it seemed like it dragged but overall, it was really short. but that's fine. i kind of wanted to go back to school. i brought my dad to the airport today. he was going to the philippines. it's gay because now my kuya has to bring me to school. whatever. that's ok. i get faceplates from the philippines. they are so cheap there! but then again everything is cheap there. ooh! tomorrow is going to be so fun! i am going out with chris. we are going shopping. we are going to glendale galleria so that chris can get collared shirts. it's going to be so fun! chris has never been to glendale galleria so it will be cool. the tonight show is so funny! yah. i don't have much to say. i thought that i would but it turns out that i don't. oh well! omg! planning the junior senior banquet is going to be so fun! whee!
Sunday, August 10, 2003
quote: SLUT!
last night was really weird. i was watching the movie boys and girls and i was thinking... what if chris and i broke up after high school because of distance or we are going in different directions. it sucks but i can't help thinking about it. man! this sucks! moving on.. today was a long day! i spent my whole day with kristina, mark, erin, and some with jenelyn. kristina called me today and woke me up. she told me that we were going to take pictures so i better get ready. that was so gay! we didn't even plan anything. freaking a! kristina came to my house and took a shower and we went to pick up mark and erin. we went to glendale galleria for like two hours trying to find something to wear for the pictures. it was so stupid though because what we ended up buying was at the first store that we went to. so we practically wasted an hour and a half. grr! jen was taking forever. we all got pissed off a lot. i didn't even want to wear the skirt that we were going to wear but i had no say in it since i was out numbered. oh well. we were taking pictures because it was a favor for mark. he wanted to take pictures with the girls so we went. he wanted to look like a pimp or whatever. so stupid! out outfits were so slutty! we wore wife beaters and black catholic school girl skirts. they were so short! they reminded me of the grouP ta-tu. eeww! the skirt was so short on me. if i bent over even just little you can see my underwear. yup. great day for wearing pink underwear. and i wore a blue bra so i had to wear two wife beaters so that you couldn't see it. gah! we saw a shirt at windsors that said "frankie says relax" just like in friends. cool! we got to expose. it was so hot in kristina's car because her AC doesn't work. it was literally 108 degrees in her car! so hot! we took the pictures. some of the poses that i had were hard and made my hand or foot fall asleep. nice. i felt like such a slut. i had to sag the skirt a little so my underwear wouldn't show as much. but then you could see part of my underwear at the top. kristina took a picture. gah! but we are going to return the skirts that we got because it's $20 for that little skirt and we only bought it for the pictures. haha! we are so gay! that's ok. we are cool like that. they made fun of my boobs and butt! not nice. we finally got the pictures over with! we got subway! woohoo! yummy! i got steak and cheese. =) we went to alhambra for some reason and back to my house and played scrabble for like two hours. yup. i was out all day! yay! chris is back from PUC! ok. that was my day. it was freaking long! maybe because it was hot and we all pissed each other off. haha! i love my friends. =)
last night was really weird. i was watching the movie boys and girls and i was thinking... what if chris and i broke up after high school because of distance or we are going in different directions. it sucks but i can't help thinking about it. man! this sucks! moving on.. today was a long day! i spent my whole day with kristina, mark, erin, and some with jenelyn. kristina called me today and woke me up. she told me that we were going to take pictures so i better get ready. that was so gay! we didn't even plan anything. freaking a! kristina came to my house and took a shower and we went to pick up mark and erin. we went to glendale galleria for like two hours trying to find something to wear for the pictures. it was so stupid though because what we ended up buying was at the first store that we went to. so we practically wasted an hour and a half. grr! jen was taking forever. we all got pissed off a lot. i didn't even want to wear the skirt that we were going to wear but i had no say in it since i was out numbered. oh well. we were taking pictures because it was a favor for mark. he wanted to take pictures with the girls so we went. he wanted to look like a pimp or whatever. so stupid! out outfits were so slutty! we wore wife beaters and black catholic school girl skirts. they were so short! they reminded me of the grouP ta-tu. eeww! the skirt was so short on me. if i bent over even just little you can see my underwear. yup. great day for wearing pink underwear. and i wore a blue bra so i had to wear two wife beaters so that you couldn't see it. gah! we saw a shirt at windsors that said "frankie says relax" just like in friends. cool! we got to expose. it was so hot in kristina's car because her AC doesn't work. it was literally 108 degrees in her car! so hot! we took the pictures. some of the poses that i had were hard and made my hand or foot fall asleep. nice. i felt like such a slut. i had to sag the skirt a little so my underwear wouldn't show as much. but then you could see part of my underwear at the top. kristina took a picture. gah! but we are going to return the skirts that we got because it's $20 for that little skirt and we only bought it for the pictures. haha! we are so gay! that's ok. we are cool like that. they made fun of my boobs and butt! not nice. we finally got the pictures over with! we got subway! woohoo! yummy! i got steak and cheese. =) we went to alhambra for some reason and back to my house and played scrabble for like two hours. yup. i was out all day! yay! chris is back from PUC! ok. that was my day. it was freaking long! maybe because it was hot and we all pissed each other off. haha! i love my friends. =)
Saturday, July 19, 2003
quote: packing is fun!
yay! i got to see megan today.. hi megan! yeah. she came to my church. she goes to my church like every summer. why? i don't know. today i got something in the mail. it was quite interesting. i have to apply for this thing and write a biography about myself. then i might get a scholarship ranging from $1000 to $16000. wow! that's so cool! i hope i get it so that my parents get some help paying for my college. man! freaking A! i want to go to a non-christian college. if you can't accept that then forget you! i just won't go to college. and if you think that sending me off to the philippines to go to college is going to work, then forget about it! it's my life! i have already made my decision! no fuck off and leave me the hell alone! i made my choice. if i have to pay for the college that i want to go to myself, so be it. but i am not going to some damn in the middle of nowhere school like la sierra, PUC or walla walla. i won't even go to stupid loma linda! screw those colleges. i know what i want and i don't care if you support me or not. so just FUCK OFF!
yay! i got to see megan today.. hi megan! yeah. she came to my church. she goes to my church like every summer. why? i don't know. today i got something in the mail. it was quite interesting. i have to apply for this thing and write a biography about myself. then i might get a scholarship ranging from $1000 to $16000. wow! that's so cool! i hope i get it so that my parents get some help paying for my college. man! freaking A! i want to go to a non-christian college. if you can't accept that then forget you! i just won't go to college. and if you think that sending me off to the philippines to go to college is going to work, then forget about it! it's my life! i have already made my decision! no fuck off and leave me the hell alone! i made my choice. if i have to pay for the college that i want to go to myself, so be it. but i am not going to some damn in the middle of nowhere school like la sierra, PUC or walla walla. i won't even go to stupid loma linda! screw those colleges. i know what i want and i don't care if you support me or not. so just FUCK OFF!
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
quote: it's happening as expected...
it's been a pretty boring week. i am going to school to register for school tomorrow. i hope i get the classes and the locker that i want. i finally made up my mind. i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin during 6th period instead of TAing for pastor chung during 7th period.. i think. this is so hard! i don't really know why. it just is for me. but i am pretty sure i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin. it just seems better. aah! junior year is going to be cool! but then again, other parts of junior year may not be as grand. it's happening. right now. it is starting. it has begun. more fights. more arguments. more disagreements. aaah.. great times. by the end of junior year we will be so different. we are going to drift. DRIFT I TELL YOU! it is going to be bitter. we won't talk a lot. the only times that we are going to talk are at lunch and maybe after school. and on the phone... but not every day. i know it's not going to be every day. there is just no way. but whatever. i must prepare myself for how things are going to be. but no amount of preperation will ever prepare me for what is going to happen. if it doesn't turn out this way, i will be very surprised. we aren't going to be as close as we are. i don't think we will be getting any closer. the fights are going to be horrible! i will cry. he will cry. we will both cry. we will never go out because i can't or he can't. but then again, that's how it is now. but i am fine with that. i don't really care much about going out. but i care a lot about talking. at most we will talk for two hours. but that's only on occasion. it's really sad. but i guess it had to happen some time. moving on... briggitte found this pretty place for junior senior! omg! i was going to cry when i saw it! it's so pretty! i am so excited to plan the banquet. it will be so cool! haha! we have an officers meeting on friday. great. at least i get to get out of the house for a few hours. it's better than staying at home. that's all for now.. bye.
it's been a pretty boring week. i am going to school to register for school tomorrow. i hope i get the classes and the locker that i want. i finally made up my mind. i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin during 6th period instead of TAing for pastor chung during 7th period.. i think. this is so hard! i don't really know why. it just is for me. but i am pretty sure i am going to TA for ms. pongvarin. it just seems better. aah! junior year is going to be cool! but then again, other parts of junior year may not be as grand. it's happening. right now. it is starting. it has begun. more fights. more arguments. more disagreements. aaah.. great times. by the end of junior year we will be so different. we are going to drift. DRIFT I TELL YOU! it is going to be bitter. we won't talk a lot. the only times that we are going to talk are at lunch and maybe after school. and on the phone... but not every day. i know it's not going to be every day. there is just no way. but whatever. i must prepare myself for how things are going to be. but no amount of preperation will ever prepare me for what is going to happen. if it doesn't turn out this way, i will be very surprised. we aren't going to be as close as we are. i don't think we will be getting any closer. the fights are going to be horrible! i will cry. he will cry. we will both cry. we will never go out because i can't or he can't. but then again, that's how it is now. but i am fine with that. i don't really care much about going out. but i care a lot about talking. at most we will talk for two hours. but that's only on occasion. it's really sad. but i guess it had to happen some time. moving on... briggitte found this pretty place for junior senior! omg! i was going to cry when i saw it! it's so pretty! i am so excited to plan the banquet. it will be so cool! haha! we have an officers meeting on friday. great. at least i get to get out of the house for a few hours. it's better than staying at home. that's all for now.. bye.
Sunday, July 06, 2003
quote: i am so bored.
i think i have a sleeping problem. i can never go to sleep. well i can but it's really hard. is it because i sleep too much? i don't know. i go to sleep at around 4 am or something like that. but i want to sleep earlier but i can't. i want to go to school so that i can sleep normally. i got to see chris on friday. that's so cool! he's back from san diego! yay! i am going to cancun after graduation. we are going on a cruise. that's so cool! it is going to be a graduation present from my parents. i am going with some of my friends. but they are paying for themselves. i am not paying for them. yeah right. wow! i know the answer to the riddle: "Angry and hungry are two words that end in '-gry'. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it everyday. Look closely and I have already given you the third word." but it's so gay! but whatever. not many people get it. well at least i don't think so. i watched the fireworks from the rose bowl on friday. we went up to a friends house. they are still building their house though. $700,000 for the land and $1.3 million for the house. that's so crazy! but it's so hard to get up to their house! it's like you're going to fall. haha! well it was fun there. that's all i have to say for now. see yah! bye!
i think i have a sleeping problem. i can never go to sleep. well i can but it's really hard. is it because i sleep too much? i don't know. i go to sleep at around 4 am or something like that. but i want to sleep earlier but i can't. i want to go to school so that i can sleep normally. i got to see chris on friday. that's so cool! he's back from san diego! yay! i am going to cancun after graduation. we are going on a cruise. that's so cool! it is going to be a graduation present from my parents. i am going with some of my friends. but they are paying for themselves. i am not paying for them. yeah right. wow! i know the answer to the riddle: "Angry and hungry are two words that end in '-gry'. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it everyday. Look closely and I have already given you the third word." but it's so gay! but whatever. not many people get it. well at least i don't think so. i watched the fireworks from the rose bowl on friday. we went up to a friends house. they are still building their house though. $700,000 for the land and $1.3 million for the house. that's so crazy! but it's so hard to get up to their house! it's like you're going to fall. haha! well it was fun there. that's all i have to say for now. see yah! bye!
Monday, June 16, 2003
quote: i blog. do you?
my bad. i haven't blogged in a while, wouldn't you say so? but that's fine. no one needs to know about my daily life. it's none of your business anyway. haha! i'm just kidding. my family from florida came this week. it has been no stop laughter! my cousins are so funny! my ate sharon showed us this really funny website. i would tell you what it is but i want to keep it all to myself. but it's really funny! it's with flash and it's so cool! but anyway... i went to loma linda yesterday. it was freaking hot!!! geez. how do people live there? it's in the middle of nowhere and the weather is insane!! oh well. never eat at a place called bamboo garden. it's not very good. yah. i was watching that one TV show called "meet my folks" and it was really funny. guys are so stupid! but that's fine. i just hope that i will never fall for a guy like that. haha! ok. i don't know what else to tell you guys. my summer has been very boring except for the last week. ok. peace out. =P
my bad. i haven't blogged in a while, wouldn't you say so? but that's fine. no one needs to know about my daily life. it's none of your business anyway. haha! i'm just kidding. my family from florida came this week. it has been no stop laughter! my cousins are so funny! my ate sharon showed us this really funny website. i would tell you what it is but i want to keep it all to myself. but it's really funny! it's with flash and it's so cool! but anyway... i went to loma linda yesterday. it was freaking hot!!! geez. how do people live there? it's in the middle of nowhere and the weather is insane!! oh well. never eat at a place called bamboo garden. it's not very good. yah. i was watching that one TV show called "meet my folks" and it was really funny. guys are so stupid! but that's fine. i just hope that i will never fall for a guy like that. haha! ok. i don't know what else to tell you guys. my summer has been very boring except for the last week. ok. peace out. =P
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
quote: dedicated to RaCheL DaWa! =)
look rachel! i'm blogging! just for you! don't you feel so special?!?! huh! huh! don't ya?! yeah. my day was good. but we have a biology test tomorrow and a spanish test. crap.. oh well. i am going to try not to stress out about it too much. i mean, it's the end of the year. it's about time that i do. i can't believe that sophomore year is almost over. only 7 more school days left. wow! that's a week. and three of those days are only finals. NOOOOOOO! and the seniors are going to graduate. it's going to be weird without them. and we are going to be UPPER CLASSMEN! aaaaahhhh! that's so cool. we can acutally beat people up now... not that i would. i'm nice to the freshmen. really. i won't be missing school too much during the summer. at least i can see chris since he can drive and all. yay-a! mojo can drive! yep yep! i hope that i can see the girls during the summer though. LET'S TAKE PICTURES! yah! for sure this time. no of that "i can't come" or "tkt is closed" or "i have no ride" crap. it's the summer meng! you gotta take pictures with the ladieeez! it's only right. anyway.. moving on.. OPEN YOUR EYES! damn it. even though it's not my problem.. OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES! spend time with her and not it... and spend time with him and not them. omg! is that so hard to follow? honestly! putang ina! ok. that's all rachel. i think i will go now, k. peace out.
look rachel! i'm blogging! just for you! don't you feel so special?!?! huh! huh! don't ya?! yeah. my day was good. but we have a biology test tomorrow and a spanish test. crap.. oh well. i am going to try not to stress out about it too much. i mean, it's the end of the year. it's about time that i do. i can't believe that sophomore year is almost over. only 7 more school days left. wow! that's a week. and three of those days are only finals. NOOOOOOO! and the seniors are going to graduate. it's going to be weird without them. and we are going to be UPPER CLASSMEN! aaaaahhhh! that's so cool. we can acutally beat people up now... not that i would. i'm nice to the freshmen. really. i won't be missing school too much during the summer. at least i can see chris since he can drive and all. yay-a! mojo can drive! yep yep! i hope that i can see the girls during the summer though. LET'S TAKE PICTURES! yah! for sure this time. no of that "i can't come" or "tkt is closed" or "i have no ride" crap. it's the summer meng! you gotta take pictures with the ladieeez! it's only right. anyway.. moving on.. OPEN YOUR EYES! damn it. even though it's not my problem.. OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES! spend time with her and not it... and spend time with him and not them. omg! is that so hard to follow? honestly! putang ina! ok. that's all rachel. i think i will go now, k. peace out.
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