Space

Part of my sanity involves me getting some along time. Unlike some, I cannot constantly be surrounded by people or even one person. I require time to myself, even if I am doing absolutely nothing. This is particularly true after I come home from work. For about 13 hours, I am bombarded with people asking me questions and asking me to do this or that. After a long day it's nice to have no interruptions and space out.
Although with recent familial events, I have temporary lost my peace. I consider myself a fairly flexible person, but there is a limit. It's been some time since I've had real time to myself. I compensate by going out alone, just driving from one random place to the other. It's only a couple hours, but it feels amazing! But it's not quite the same as being able to sit on your own bed, in your own room, thinking about nothing and not be interrupted.
This has made the idea of moving out a more real possibility. A big reason why I am still living at home is because I want to pay off my loans as soon as possible. Also, it's sooooo close to work, I mean like 500 feet away. But in about seven months, I will pay off a big chunk of loans. I realize that my space will eventually be returned to me, but even then, this room really isn't my own. I live in my parents' house, with their rules. I don't have the freedom I experienced when I was away at college. Even though I am saving a whole lot of money by staying, can that money buy me freedom?

Mañana

In 14 hours I start working! I will officially be a part of the American workforce. Today I bought some scrubs for the occasion. While in nursing school, I had decided where I wanted to work and what type of unit I wanted to work in. I was also adamant about which hospital and unit I DEFINITELY DID NOT want to work at. But here I am, less than a day away from starting at that very hospital I never ever wanted to be at, in the unit that I always detested. I'm curious as to how this job and hospital will change my career path and alter the goals I had set for myself while in school. Surprisingly, I am not upset or discouraged by the shift my life has taken. It's going to be a fun experience, seeing where my life will take me and where my career will go. Maybe I'll find what my true passion is. Only time will tell. But as for right now, I must prepare for tomorrow.

Static

I'm crawling out of my own skin. I'm in need of a new experience, a change in my life that I have not experienced before. I start my job in less than two weeks, but it's not a very big change in my life. I will be working at the same hospital I've centered my life around for the past 19 years and will be surrounded with familiar faces. Not exactly the change I'm looking for. What I truly want to do is to move. Not to Pasadena or Alhambra or anywhere I can access with local public transportation. I want to move to Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Chicago, SOMEWHERE ELSE! For the past five years everything has pretty much stayed the same. At times it feels like I am not living my life. I'm just going with the motions and doing what I am supposed to do. Aside from the new job opportunity I have, which I am very grateful for, there is nothing here for me in Southern California. I love my friends and family, but everyone is moving on and living their lives whereas my life seems so stagnant.

HIRED!

Today at 9:57 AM I received a call from the nurse recruiter, and she offered me a job on the med-surg unit. Sweet! Tomorrow I'm going to fill out all the paperwork, get my physical, and get my badge. Woohoo!

what a TEASE

I have been growing more and more impatient with my application status at the hospital I applied to. I've been calling the nurse recruiter to get an update, but I just keep getting her voicemail. Each time I am tempted to yell, "CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME IF I AM HIRED OR NOT!?" But of course I don't and instead leave the generic message I have created for situations like this. I interviewed with three units, and I am very interested in two. And now the universe is starting to mess with me. Today I ran into the two nurse managers of the two units I want to work in. Oh come on! Both times I wanted to scream, "AM I HIRED OR NOT?!" It took all the inner strength I had not to do so. Please hire me.

But my life's not always such a downer. I officially graduated from college. And like I predicted, it was a circus. I also got to see the 2010 NBA Champion LA Lakers at the taping for Jimmy Kimmel. Apparently there were over 950,000 people who tried to get tickets. We were less than 50 feet away from them! It was so awesome! Tomorrow I'm going to buy the Wheaties box with the Lakers on it. =)

Step 5/5 v3

Third time's the charm? Maybe. The verdict on whether or not I will be hired is still out. I just came from my third interview with another nurse manager. Last night I completely forgot I had an interview. I just didn't care anymore. The only thing that excited me about this interview was the fact that I would get to wear my new shoes. It was an interview on an orthopedic/med-surg floor, which is not my forte. Well, it's not that it's not my forte, I just strongly dislike (borderline hate) ortho. I wasn't sure what to expect for the interview, but when I got there, I was pleasantly surprised. The nurse manager was very welcoming. Her interview method was not what I had encountered in the previous interviews, which were more structured. She took me around the unit to meet the nurses and staff. Much to my surprise, I can actually see myself working on this unit, not because of the patient demographic, but due to the team. Most med-surg units I've been on have very indifferent, unhappy or grumpy nurses. But on this unit, all the nurses were really enthusiastic, welcoming and seemed to love their job. Fortunately, the nurse manager informed me that in the past few months, the unit has shifted into being less orthopedic. Thank you! I never pictured myself working in med-surg, but with this particular unit, it's not so bad. I think I would actually enjoy it.

Circus

I'm walking down the aisle in two weeks. No, I'm not getting married. It's my college graduation. And it is a circus. My mom ordered 75 official invitations for various families then asked my cousin to make 15 more because we ran out. Last night I looked through our guest list, and if all the people we invited were to show up, there would be a little over 180 people in attendance. Of course not all those people will go, but the fact that we invited over 180 people makes this event a CIRCUS. I never really wanted this, but I do appreciate my mom's efforts. I haven't made any input on what I want for this event because honestly, I don't care. Although today after watching the Laker game, I told my mom I wanted my decorations to be purple and gold (Laker colors.) She turned to me and said, "Of course. Because you're a winner." Ah, gotta love the Laker pride in my family. My aunt is also getting me purple and gold/yellow orchid leis, and my other aunt wants to make me a purple and gold sign. Luckily my school colors are purple and gold, but of course all my purple and gold for that day is meant to represent the Lakers. ;)

Blerg.

I feel sick. My stomach is churning from sheer nervousness. Why? Because I got another interview with another nurse manager at the hospital I'm applying to. That makes this nurse manager interview #3. Friends keep reassuring me that this is a good sign. "They wouldn't give you another interview if they didn't like you." While that is a strong and valid argument, I can't help but think, "Is the nurse recruiter just giving me more chances because the other nurse managers didn't like me and passed on me?" That questions has been swimming around in my head all day and will continue to do so until my interview next week. I had the same question before nurse manager interview #2, but it wasn't quite so strong. But since this is my third interview and have not been hired, I'm getting very nervous. The residency program starts in about two months. Shouldn't I know by now?

Step 5/5 (again)

Yesterday I received a call from the nurse recruiter asking me to do another interview for another nurse manager. The interview was today, and I was asked the same exact questions as last time. This interview was more nerve wracking than the others because it's not the usual protocol. In my mind, I set up the steps of hiring, and this extra interview was a curveball. Regardless, I got through it. I find myself getting a little impatience with the whole hiring process. I want to know already!

Round 2

The first round of the NBA Playoffs will officially come to an end tomorrow. Eight teams will have been eliminated and subsequently put on vacation. Eight will remain, including my Los Angeles Lakers. They have beaten the Oklahoma Thunder and are moving on to the Utah Jazz. Quoting Scott Howard-Cooper from NBA.com, "Lakers in 7."

I find out whether or not I get the job I've been applying for some time this next week. Monday will be exactly one week since my interview, and they told me they would let me know in a week. If 5 PM Tuesday comes along and I don't hear back, I think I'll go crazy. But lucky for me there's a Laker game on that night. Phew.

Step 5/5

The final step. On Friday the nurse recruiter called me to schedule a manager meeting for today. I was a little at ease because it was the nurse manager my parents know. She made me feel really at ease during my interview. She went through the standard list of interview questions: tell me about yourself, what are your strengths, weaknesses, what sets you apart from all the 600 applicants, la la la. Then we started talking about my family and how our families are intertwined. It was really easy to talk to her. She did say an odd thing though. She showed me the pile of applicants she had interviewed (maybe about 50 or so) and said that she wasn't really interested in any of them. I don't know what to think about that. I'm supposed to find out in the next week whether or not I got the job. I really hope I do. If I do, I have a list of things I would like to do between now and the time I start working in late August.

1. Study for GREs
2. Go to San Francisco for a weekend trip
3. Take a week or two vacation to the Pacific Northwest, specifically Seattle and Portland
4. Buy a car

Just one week. I can be patient for a week, I hope.

Playoffs

As we come to the close of yet another NBA season, we are ushered into, in my opinion, one of the most spectacular and aggressive displays of human athleticism : the NBA Playoffs. Since being conditioned into a Laker fan at the age of six, I have always watched the Playoffs mainly for the Lakers. But during the course of the past few years, I have learned to expand my NBA knowledge. This year's Playoffs could not come at a better time. I'm starting to swim in the stresses of my life, but with the Playoffs here, I get to take a breather. As the eloquent writers of the (flailing) show "How I Met Your Mother" articulated in a recent episode, "What's great about sports: they take your mind off your troubles, if only for a moment." Agreed.

Limbo

I had mentioned in a previous post that my dad knows that nurse manager for the unit I am applying to. Tonight we went to visit her. She lives on the floor below us, and my parents thought it would be a good idea to just drop by. I was a little uneasy about this because some people don't like that. Luckily, she was very nice and was glad to see our family. She said she would talk to the nurse recruiter tomorrow and see if she could set me up with a nurse manager interview. Sweet! Then I learned that there are only 19 spots open for the RN residency program and 600 have applied. Shit. She also mentioned that she interviewed someone yesterday right after that person had their panel interview. So the panel felt that person was well suited for that unit, but I was not offered that. I feel like I'm sinking.

I have tried my hardest to not let myself think, "You got this," even though everyone around me is saying that I do. I refuse to let myself think that because I know that if I do, and I don't get the job, I'll be even more let down. Even though uncanny events in my life have somehow come together to lead me where I am, I still won't allow myself to think that I have a good shot at getting the job I want. Ah, the good ole defense mechanism.

It makes me uneasy that applying for a job is not really about your skills, grades and what you bring to the table. It's about who you know. I realize that this is how it is, but it's difficult for me to embrace. This whole application process to this particular hospital has been based on who I know, well mostly who my parents know. I supposed I just have to suck it up because this may be the only way I can get a job in this economy.

Step 4/5

Ah, step 4: panel interview. The most nerve-wracking step of them all. My appointment was at 10:45 AM, but they were running behind by about an hour. While I was waiting to be called in, the fire alarm went off and the whole building had to be evacuated. At least that got my mind off the interview. Once we were allowed back inside, I started talking to the other applicants who were also waiting for their panel interview. Aha, my competition! I didn't get much time to speak with them because once I started getting to know them, the recruiter came in to escort me to the interview room. It was a room of five employees gathered around a round table. I'm not sure what their names and title were because I was too nervous to even try and remember. All seemed nice except one. I think she was the Director of Nursing. She was kind of cold, but I guess that goes along with interviewing. For sure her number one agenda was not to make me feel comfortable. They asked me five questions, one being a case scenario.

"Mr. Wright is a 76 y.o. patient with pneumonia. T 101.2, P 120, RR 28, BP 180/90, Pulse ox 88% on 2L O2. He is on regular diet but only eats 30% of his meals and his family has not come to visit in days. What is he at risk for and why? What are your concerns for this patient? What are your nursing interventions?"

No too shabby. The rest of the questions were about my clinical experience with patients and experiences with peers. I felt like my interview was short. They asked me their questions, asked if I had any questions for them (I didn't. My mind was just blank.), and sent me on my way. Brilliant.

Now I wait for the nurse recruiter who recruited me to call me and tell me whether or not I get to have an interview with the nurse manager of the unit they decide to place me in. It's in God's hands now.
Oh how I hate the waiting...

Step 3/5

This morning I woke up to my phone ringing, and on the caller ID it said the name of the hospital I'm applying to. The nurse recruiter was calling to have a phone interview with me. Crap! I wasn't even half awake yet. Luckily she gave me the option of having her call back a couple hours later. Phew! My mom gave me a booklet she had about the hospital's mission statement, values and policies. I skimmed through it quickly, but it turned out that I didn't even need it. Around 12:30 my mom asked me to pick up some Thai food at a local restaurant. The wait took forever even though we ordered in advance. The room had the AC on blast, but I was started sweating for nervousness. It was quickly reaching 1 PM (my phone interview time) and I was anxious to get home. I made it home just in time, and a few minutes later that recruiter called. Throughout the entire interview I was trying to read into her voice to see how I was doing. Easier said than done. She's been doing this for a while and seems to know how to keep it neutral. The questions she asked were based off the questionnaire I had answered. She also asked me some scenario questions. After the final question I really had no idea how I did. Then I asked her how long it would take for me to know whether or not I would get a panel interview. She responded with, "Well, I think I would like to push your application on to the panel interview." SWEET! She proceeds to tell me that my interview is this Tuesday (in 5 days) and will be meeting with four representatives and should be prepared to answer questions about patient safety, change management, teamwork and a critical thinking scenario question. I have five days to prep what I am going to say and to get all my paperwork ready. Here we go!

Step 2/5

I just sent in my email questionnaire for the hospital I'm trying to get into. Step 2 complete. It was only ten questions, but the hardest thing about it was getting started. Apparently the questionnaire is to screen the people who really want to work there from the people that don't. I hope I was convincing enough at proving that I really do want to work there (which I think I do).

Question #1 was fairly easy: Why do you want to work at here? My secret to answering that question was going to their website and looking at their mission statement and somehow slipping that into my response. I learned from my management clinical that organizations really like it when you know what their goal is.

The rest of the questions were the usual: "What units are you interested in and why?, "Describe blah blah blah from your clinical experience," "How would you deal with this such and such situation." You know, that type of thing.

I got stuck on one question though: Tell us of a time when you had to conform to a policy with which you did not agree. Crap. I haven't really encountered this. So what did I do? I pseudo-fabricated one. It did happen, but it wasn't so much a policy than a unit preference. Oops.

My response to the last question was the best: If you accepted a position in the Residency, it requires a commitment to work for 2.5 year beyond the program. What is it about you that would make the hospital believe that you would keep this commitment? My response in a nutshell: It's my home.

Now, it may sound like bullshit, which even to me it does, but when it comes down to it, it is my home. In October it will be 19 years living in this hospital community. I went to school at the hospital's elementary school, go to church at the hospital's church, volunteered at the hospital, spent a vast majority of my afternoons in the hospital cafeteria loitering (looking back I'm surprised they didn't kick us out after all those hours and years of just buying chips and freeloading off their water), and go to my doctors appointments here. I'm the last of the original people who used to all live here, and I suppose I wouldn't mind staying for another three years.

And at my home today, I baked a funfetti cake with chocolate frosting. It's bomb dig!

Step 1/5

I've been officially out of school for two weeks now, which means I need to find a job. Until lately, I have taken the laissez faire attitude about it. But now that a real opportunity is at hand, it's time to get this done.

My parents would prefer I work at this one specific hospital for 3 reasons:
1) If I work there, my mom could retire and we could still live at our apartment and wouldn't have to move (only nurses and doctors that currently work at this hospital can live in the apartments).
2) I can put my money into my student loans and pay them off sooner (and buy a car) since I won't have to pay for rent.
3) I am not financially stable to get my own place.

I have been praying about finding a job, and it seems the God has answered quite clearly. Last week, while talking to a family friend who works at the hospital, my dad realized that he is good friends with the nurse manager on her unit. This past Sunday night, while my mom was at work, she received a call from one of the nursing recruiters telling her she was coming up on her unit to drop off some things. The nurse recruiter NEVER goes on my mom's unit so this was out of the ordinary. The recruiter and my mom started talking, and my mom mentioned that her daughter was trying to apply. The nurse recruiter asked for my number so she could contact me. The next day, I got a call from her. She told me all about the application process and to call her if I ever needed anything.

The application process is quite lengthy. First you fill out the online application, which takes about 30-60 minutes. You receive an 10 question email questionnaire, which you fill out and email back. They then set up a phone interview. If they are pleased with your phone interview, they set up a panel interview made up of about three or four people. During the panel, they ask which units you are most interested in. Based on your interview and interest, they recommend a unit for you. The last step is an interview with the nurse manager of that specific unit. So far I have completed Step 1 out of the 5. I just received the email questionnaire, but more on that later.

UPDATED
GIVE ME MY PRESENTS!!

My birthday is coming up, and it's the first birthday in a long time where I've actually wanted tangible things. So I decided to make a wish list of the things I want.

- L'Oreal HiP Color Truth Cream Eyeliner – Black

- Keel’s Simple Diary in LIME

- Green Spring Vine Mug

- Lovely Scribbles Red Mug

- Apple Rooibios Tea Bags

- Panda umbrella (I might use this once or twice, but it would just be something funny to have.)

That's all I have for now. I might add others if I think of more. Perhaps I will set aside some birthday money and just buy all of these for myself as my own birthday present. =)

It's been six months since my last entry via iTouch (hence all the spelling mistakes), and I feel like I don't remember the art of blogging. It's almost the end of 2009, and this year was pretty exciting. During the past several days, I have taken the time to clean my room and simplify my life. I came across assignments from elementary school where I was required to write and illustrate a short story. I think they are pretty good for an elementary student. One even displayed my belief of utilitarianism, although I'm not so sure I fully believe in it now. I also got a chance to read over old letters from friends and previous journals. I read a few entries from a year ago which were about how I thought the year would go. I was way off about my academic life, friends, family, and in matters of the heart. But I was wrong in a good way. The year of 2009 has been quite an adventure full of surprises.

2009 consisted of:

my 22nd birthday...

my nursing dedication...

saying farewell to my old pc and saying hello to my MAC, which I paid for all by myself =)...

finally meeting my friend soulmate, Jing...

the formation of BITZ (Kristina is missing)...

the discovery of BLUE velvet cake, which makes your poop blue. But the red velvet at Le Grande Orange is still better...

LAKERS 2008-2009 NBA CHAMPIONS! This is the US Bank building lit up in purple and gold...

going to the Laker Championship parade. You can see Lamar Odom...

AFRICA bound...

"my" baby Moses in Africa. The nurses kept telling me to adopt him...

petting a cheetah in Africa...

going on an African safari...

seeing a dead carcass on safari...

the night I got the most drunk I had ever been...

experiencing the joy that comes with drinking Serendipity's Frozen Hot Chocolate...

my first slot machine experience, and of course it's a panda slot machine...

THE BEST VEGAS TRIP EVER!!!

the aftermath: we don't look so tore up...

cutting my hair...

and donating it to Locks of Love...

PASSING BOARDS!! You can look it up yourself, I'm LEGIT...

finally visiting Jenelyn in Texas after 5 years...

when in Texas...

going to a real Texas rodeo...

THE San Diego trip...

accompanying Jenelyn to a Hanson concert. Those fans are crazy...

discovering Scoops and seeing Charlyne Yi there...

the AWESOMENESS of Oktoberfest...

and our 1 gallon jug...

Halloween in Vegas...

and all the craziness that comes with it...

Vegas trip 3# which consisted of gambling, eating, sleeping and a strip club...

our annual Christmas party: #8...

As much fun as I had in 2009, I welcome 2010 with open arms. I can look forward to working, graduation, finding my own place to live, and who knows what else.

Dumela! Greetings from Africa. I love it her. I'm so glad I'm out of the country. I've been itching to leave America. I can't stay there very long or else I get anxious. The people here are so friendly. It was difficult getting used to it though. All we've been eating a lot of stew. Yum. The town close by although it's quite a hike. At least we get exercise. The hospital is interesting. Nurses are a lot more independent here which is great although they don't do as many skills. Luckily we have wireless here but I can only use my itouch since my old laptop is horrible. At least there is contact with the rest of the world. I'm trying to learn their language and it's getting better. Hopefully by the time I leave I can learn more. It doesn't help that they all speak English here. I love it here. It feels good to be away.

Also, my blood is boiling about the Shaq to the Cavs thing. Gaah!