Blerg.

I feel sick. My stomach is churning from sheer nervousness. Why? Because I got another interview with another nurse manager at the hospital I'm applying to. That makes this nurse manager interview #3. Friends keep reassuring me that this is a good sign. "They wouldn't give you another interview if they didn't like you." While that is a strong and valid argument, I can't help but think, "Is the nurse recruiter just giving me more chances because the other nurse managers didn't like me and passed on me?" That questions has been swimming around in my head all day and will continue to do so until my interview next week. I had the same question before nurse manager interview #2, but it wasn't quite so strong. But since this is my third interview and have not been hired, I'm getting very nervous. The residency program starts in about two months. Shouldn't I know by now?

Step 5/5 (again)

Yesterday I received a call from the nurse recruiter asking me to do another interview for another nurse manager. The interview was today, and I was asked the same exact questions as last time. This interview was more nerve wracking than the others because it's not the usual protocol. In my mind, I set up the steps of hiring, and this extra interview was a curveball. Regardless, I got through it. I find myself getting a little impatience with the whole hiring process. I want to know already!

Round 2

The first round of the NBA Playoffs will officially come to an end tomorrow. Eight teams will have been eliminated and subsequently put on vacation. Eight will remain, including my Los Angeles Lakers. They have beaten the Oklahoma Thunder and are moving on to the Utah Jazz. Quoting Scott Howard-Cooper from NBA.com, "Lakers in 7."

I find out whether or not I get the job I've been applying for some time this next week. Monday will be exactly one week since my interview, and they told me they would let me know in a week. If 5 PM Tuesday comes along and I don't hear back, I think I'll go crazy. But lucky for me there's a Laker game on that night. Phew.

Step 5/5

The final step. On Friday the nurse recruiter called me to schedule a manager meeting for today. I was a little at ease because it was the nurse manager my parents know. She made me feel really at ease during my interview. She went through the standard list of interview questions: tell me about yourself, what are your strengths, weaknesses, what sets you apart from all the 600 applicants, la la la. Then we started talking about my family and how our families are intertwined. It was really easy to talk to her. She did say an odd thing though. She showed me the pile of applicants she had interviewed (maybe about 50 or so) and said that she wasn't really interested in any of them. I don't know what to think about that. I'm supposed to find out in the next week whether or not I got the job. I really hope I do. If I do, I have a list of things I would like to do between now and the time I start working in late August.

1. Study for GREs
2. Go to San Francisco for a weekend trip
3. Take a week or two vacation to the Pacific Northwest, specifically Seattle and Portland
4. Buy a car

Just one week. I can be patient for a week, I hope.

Playoffs

As we come to the close of yet another NBA season, we are ushered into, in my opinion, one of the most spectacular and aggressive displays of human athleticism : the NBA Playoffs. Since being conditioned into a Laker fan at the age of six, I have always watched the Playoffs mainly for the Lakers. But during the course of the past few years, I have learned to expand my NBA knowledge. This year's Playoffs could not come at a better time. I'm starting to swim in the stresses of my life, but with the Playoffs here, I get to take a breather. As the eloquent writers of the (flailing) show "How I Met Your Mother" articulated in a recent episode, "What's great about sports: they take your mind off your troubles, if only for a moment." Agreed.

Limbo

I had mentioned in a previous post that my dad knows that nurse manager for the unit I am applying to. Tonight we went to visit her. She lives on the floor below us, and my parents thought it would be a good idea to just drop by. I was a little uneasy about this because some people don't like that. Luckily, she was very nice and was glad to see our family. She said she would talk to the nurse recruiter tomorrow and see if she could set me up with a nurse manager interview. Sweet! Then I learned that there are only 19 spots open for the RN residency program and 600 have applied. Shit. She also mentioned that she interviewed someone yesterday right after that person had their panel interview. So the panel felt that person was well suited for that unit, but I was not offered that. I feel like I'm sinking.

I have tried my hardest to not let myself think, "You got this," even though everyone around me is saying that I do. I refuse to let myself think that because I know that if I do, and I don't get the job, I'll be even more let down. Even though uncanny events in my life have somehow come together to lead me where I am, I still won't allow myself to think that I have a good shot at getting the job I want. Ah, the good ole defense mechanism.

It makes me uneasy that applying for a job is not really about your skills, grades and what you bring to the table. It's about who you know. I realize that this is how it is, but it's difficult for me to embrace. This whole application process to this particular hospital has been based on who I know, well mostly who my parents know. I supposed I just have to suck it up because this may be the only way I can get a job in this economy.

Step 4/5

Ah, step 4: panel interview. The most nerve-wracking step of them all. My appointment was at 10:45 AM, but they were running behind by about an hour. While I was waiting to be called in, the fire alarm went off and the whole building had to be evacuated. At least that got my mind off the interview. Once we were allowed back inside, I started talking to the other applicants who were also waiting for their panel interview. Aha, my competition! I didn't get much time to speak with them because once I started getting to know them, the recruiter came in to escort me to the interview room. It was a room of five employees gathered around a round table. I'm not sure what their names and title were because I was too nervous to even try and remember. All seemed nice except one. I think she was the Director of Nursing. She was kind of cold, but I guess that goes along with interviewing. For sure her number one agenda was not to make me feel comfortable. They asked me five questions, one being a case scenario.

"Mr. Wright is a 76 y.o. patient with pneumonia. T 101.2, P 120, RR 28, BP 180/90, Pulse ox 88% on 2L O2. He is on regular diet but only eats 30% of his meals and his family has not come to visit in days. What is he at risk for and why? What are your concerns for this patient? What are your nursing interventions?"

No too shabby. The rest of the questions were about my clinical experience with patients and experiences with peers. I felt like my interview was short. They asked me their questions, asked if I had any questions for them (I didn't. My mind was just blank.), and sent me on my way. Brilliant.

Now I wait for the nurse recruiter who recruited me to call me and tell me whether or not I get to have an interview with the nurse manager of the unit they decide to place me in. It's in God's hands now.
Oh how I hate the waiting...

Step 3/5

This morning I woke up to my phone ringing, and on the caller ID it said the name of the hospital I'm applying to. The nurse recruiter was calling to have a phone interview with me. Crap! I wasn't even half awake yet. Luckily she gave me the option of having her call back a couple hours later. Phew! My mom gave me a booklet she had about the hospital's mission statement, values and policies. I skimmed through it quickly, but it turned out that I didn't even need it. Around 12:30 my mom asked me to pick up some Thai food at a local restaurant. The wait took forever even though we ordered in advance. The room had the AC on blast, but I was started sweating for nervousness. It was quickly reaching 1 PM (my phone interview time) and I was anxious to get home. I made it home just in time, and a few minutes later that recruiter called. Throughout the entire interview I was trying to read into her voice to see how I was doing. Easier said than done. She's been doing this for a while and seems to know how to keep it neutral. The questions she asked were based off the questionnaire I had answered. She also asked me some scenario questions. After the final question I really had no idea how I did. Then I asked her how long it would take for me to know whether or not I would get a panel interview. She responded with, "Well, I think I would like to push your application on to the panel interview." SWEET! She proceeds to tell me that my interview is this Tuesday (in 5 days) and will be meeting with four representatives and should be prepared to answer questions about patient safety, change management, teamwork and a critical thinking scenario question. I have five days to prep what I am going to say and to get all my paperwork ready. Here we go!

Step 2/5

I just sent in my email questionnaire for the hospital I'm trying to get into. Step 2 complete. It was only ten questions, but the hardest thing about it was getting started. Apparently the questionnaire is to screen the people who really want to work there from the people that don't. I hope I was convincing enough at proving that I really do want to work there (which I think I do).

Question #1 was fairly easy: Why do you want to work at here? My secret to answering that question was going to their website and looking at their mission statement and somehow slipping that into my response. I learned from my management clinical that organizations really like it when you know what their goal is.

The rest of the questions were the usual: "What units are you interested in and why?, "Describe blah blah blah from your clinical experience," "How would you deal with this such and such situation." You know, that type of thing.

I got stuck on one question though: Tell us of a time when you had to conform to a policy with which you did not agree. Crap. I haven't really encountered this. So what did I do? I pseudo-fabricated one. It did happen, but it wasn't so much a policy than a unit preference. Oops.

My response to the last question was the best: If you accepted a position in the Residency, it requires a commitment to work for 2.5 year beyond the program. What is it about you that would make the hospital believe that you would keep this commitment? My response in a nutshell: It's my home.

Now, it may sound like bullshit, which even to me it does, but when it comes down to it, it is my home. In October it will be 19 years living in this hospital community. I went to school at the hospital's elementary school, go to church at the hospital's church, volunteered at the hospital, spent a vast majority of my afternoons in the hospital cafeteria loitering (looking back I'm surprised they didn't kick us out after all those hours and years of just buying chips and freeloading off their water), and go to my doctors appointments here. I'm the last of the original people who used to all live here, and I suppose I wouldn't mind staying for another three years.

And at my home today, I baked a funfetti cake with chocolate frosting. It's bomb dig!

Step 1/5

I've been officially out of school for two weeks now, which means I need to find a job. Until lately, I have taken the laissez faire attitude about it. But now that a real opportunity is at hand, it's time to get this done.

My parents would prefer I work at this one specific hospital for 3 reasons:
1) If I work there, my mom could retire and we could still live at our apartment and wouldn't have to move (only nurses and doctors that currently work at this hospital can live in the apartments).
2) I can put my money into my student loans and pay them off sooner (and buy a car) since I won't have to pay for rent.
3) I am not financially stable to get my own place.

I have been praying about finding a job, and it seems the God has answered quite clearly. Last week, while talking to a family friend who works at the hospital, my dad realized that he is good friends with the nurse manager on her unit. This past Sunday night, while my mom was at work, she received a call from one of the nursing recruiters telling her she was coming up on her unit to drop off some things. The nurse recruiter NEVER goes on my mom's unit so this was out of the ordinary. The recruiter and my mom started talking, and my mom mentioned that her daughter was trying to apply. The nurse recruiter asked for my number so she could contact me. The next day, I got a call from her. She told me all about the application process and to call her if I ever needed anything.

The application process is quite lengthy. First you fill out the online application, which takes about 30-60 minutes. You receive an 10 question email questionnaire, which you fill out and email back. They then set up a phone interview. If they are pleased with your phone interview, they set up a panel interview made up of about three or four people. During the panel, they ask which units you are most interested in. Based on your interview and interest, they recommend a unit for you. The last step is an interview with the nurse manager of that specific unit. So far I have completed Step 1 out of the 5. I just received the email questionnaire, but more on that later.

UPDATED
GIVE ME MY PRESENTS!!

My birthday is coming up, and it's the first birthday in a long time where I've actually wanted tangible things. So I decided to make a wish list of the things I want.

- L'Oreal HiP Color Truth Cream Eyeliner – Black

- Keel’s Simple Diary in LIME

- Green Spring Vine Mug

- Lovely Scribbles Red Mug

- Apple Rooibios Tea Bags

- Panda umbrella (I might use this once or twice, but it would just be something funny to have.)

That's all I have for now. I might add others if I think of more. Perhaps I will set aside some birthday money and just buy all of these for myself as my own birthday present. =)

It's been six months since my last entry via iTouch (hence all the spelling mistakes), and I feel like I don't remember the art of blogging. It's almost the end of 2009, and this year was pretty exciting. During the past several days, I have taken the time to clean my room and simplify my life. I came across assignments from elementary school where I was required to write and illustrate a short story. I think they are pretty good for an elementary student. One even displayed my belief of utilitarianism, although I'm not so sure I fully believe in it now. I also got a chance to read over old letters from friends and previous journals. I read a few entries from a year ago which were about how I thought the year would go. I was way off about my academic life, friends, family, and in matters of the heart. But I was wrong in a good way. The year of 2009 has been quite an adventure full of surprises.

2009 consisted of:

my 22nd birthday...

my nursing dedication...

saying farewell to my old pc and saying hello to my MAC, which I paid for all by myself =)...

finally meeting my friend soulmate, Jing...

the formation of BITZ (Kristina is missing)...

the discovery of BLUE velvet cake, which makes your poop blue. But the red velvet at Le Grande Orange is still better...

LAKERS 2008-2009 NBA CHAMPIONS! This is the US Bank building lit up in purple and gold...

going to the Laker Championship parade. You can see Lamar Odom...

AFRICA bound...

"my" baby Moses in Africa. The nurses kept telling me to adopt him...

petting a cheetah in Africa...

going on an African safari...

seeing a dead carcass on safari...

the night I got the most drunk I had ever been...

experiencing the joy that comes with drinking Serendipity's Frozen Hot Chocolate...

my first slot machine experience, and of course it's a panda slot machine...

THE BEST VEGAS TRIP EVER!!!

the aftermath: we don't look so tore up...

cutting my hair...

and donating it to Locks of Love...

PASSING BOARDS!! You can look it up yourself, I'm LEGIT...

finally visiting Jenelyn in Texas after 5 years...

when in Texas...

going to a real Texas rodeo...

THE San Diego trip...

accompanying Jenelyn to a Hanson concert. Those fans are crazy...

discovering Scoops and seeing Charlyne Yi there...

the AWESOMENESS of Oktoberfest...

and our 1 gallon jug...

Halloween in Vegas...

and all the craziness that comes with it...

Vegas trip 3# which consisted of gambling, eating, sleeping and a strip club...

our annual Christmas party: #8...

As much fun as I had in 2009, I welcome 2010 with open arms. I can look forward to working, graduation, finding my own place to live, and who knows what else.

Dumela! Greetings from Africa. I love it her. I'm so glad I'm out of the country. I've been itching to leave America. I can't stay there very long or else I get anxious. The people here are so friendly. It was difficult getting used to it though. All we've been eating a lot of stew. Yum. The town close by although it's quite a hike. At least we get exercise. The hospital is interesting. Nurses are a lot more independent here which is great although they don't do as many skills. Luckily we have wireless here but I can only use my itouch since my old laptop is horrible. At least there is contact with the rest of the world. I'm trying to learn their language and it's getting better. Hopefully by the time I leave I can learn more. It doesn't help that they all speak English here. I love it here. It feels good to be away.

Also, my blood is boiling about the Shaq to the Cavs thing. Gaah!

It's been a while since I've blogged, and as nice as it would be to update o the recent going ons in my life, I don't really want to. I just finished finals this past Thursday. I started studying about a week before which is the earliest I've started studying for anything in my life. I even went to the library twice for six hours each time. Of course I wasn't focused the whole time.
This is how you study at Loma Linda...
You go crazy for a whole...
But then you buckle down and get to it...But there were some breaks from studying. I attended Kristina's residency graduation. She is officially an independent nurse. Hooray!
Giselle and I also had to bury our fish. He lasted one month. A word to the wise, don't buy your fish at Walmart. When we bought our fish, he was one of the remaining five fish that weren't dead.
We buried him in a tree on campus. It was only fitting.

For dead and finals week, our dorm provided us with an unlimited amount of popcorn, hot chocolate, apple cidar, and chai latte. But that amount of sugar, salt, studying, and late nights leads to some craziness, which Giselle proudly displays.
But the craziest thing I have seen so far in Loma Linda was this:
camels..
sheep...and a donkey.The Campus Hill Church was having a Christmas program which involved live animals. We didn't stay for the program, but we managed to take pictures with the animals.

I only had two finals this quarter, one was really easy and the other was not so easy. Actually, the other one, Med-Surg II, I freaked out about. I had that final on Thursday, and I was really nervous and anxious while starting to take it. It's a 120 question final, and around question 17 or 19 I start to have an anxiety attack. My heart starts beating fast and irregularly, my breathing is fast and shallow, my skin feels clammy, my eyes fill with tears, I feel dizzy and feel like collapsing to the floor. I was really nervous that I would fail this test and have to retake the class. I even thought about fake fainting, but realized that everyone would be looking at me and would probably be sent to the ER. My symptoms passed after a few minutes, and I finished the test. It turns out that I did just fine of the test. That's the second anxiety attack I've had. The first one was more minor than this one, but both of them were in nursing school. That's not too good. But now it's over, and according to others, I'm over the hump and it gets better from here. I counted how many pages of lectures notes I had for Med-Surg II alone, and I had 852 pages. That does not include supplemental notes or reading material. That is just 852 pages of notes for 36 hours of lecture. Wow.

After finals, I got to relax by going shopping and to a Christmas party. It was a La Sierra party, but 50% or more were SGA people, especially '05ers.
There are more people but they were MIA for the pictures.
After the party, Jen and I went to IHOP. We made a graph that showed how much we hung out with each other each year we've known each other. It's so pretty.
So there it is. I figured I'd write a longer one with pictures since I don't know when I'll have time to blog again. Hasta luego!

mLast night Giselle and I decided to get a fish. It was a random topic that popped up yesterday afternoon. I had always wanted a betta fish in a plant vase, but we thought we should wait a little and get a practice fish first. But at about 10:30 PM we decided to go to Walmart and pick out a fish and ended up getting our very own betta fish.
That's the best picture we could get of him, but it doesn't do his colors justice.
We wanted to give him a pretty home so we bought and decorated this vase. So that's the new addition to our little family.

I love this kid! He's singing "Hey Jude" by The Beatles.



The very beginning and towards the end are my favorite parts. My family and I spent so much time watch this kid since my aunts and uncles are big Beatles fans. Na na na na na na na!!

I've been awake for 36 hours. And I'll probably be awake for another hour or two. This is my story: I woke up Sunday at noon. Yeah, I know, that's late. I get back to the dorm that night and attempt to sleep at 8 PM since I have to get up at 4:30 AM for clinicals. The thing is, I can't sleep at all. So I'm tossing and turning all night and the next thing I know, it's 4:30 AM and my alarm is going off. I'm not sure why I can't sleep. I roll out of bed, get ready, and do a 12 hour shift (6 AM-6PM.) And now I just got back from doing some cardio and weights. How I am still awake and have energy to spare for some studying? I have no idea.

Of the personal blogs that I try to read on a regular basis, less and less people are posting, including myself. But I wonder how many people still read my blog. Some feedback would be nice.
So far this quarter is very busy busy busy. It's not a particularly difficult quarter, but one of my classes requires a great deal of busy work. I'm hoping that by October 26 I'll be done with all of my things for the rest of the quarter, with the exception of one or two minor assignments. People used to tell me that when you go to nursing school, you disappear for the next two years until you are finished. I know exactly what they are talking about now. But I like it.
I have been watching a lot of British programming and have gotten used to British accents. The problem is that I have gotten so used to it that I start thinking in a British accent. It's quite mad!

Oh epidemiology, why are you so difficult? Yesterday I took my epi midterm. I think that even if I studied every single lecture 20 times, I would still have no clue what the test was about. I don't know where he got some of those questions or what they were even talking about. It's not very comforting when people who have taken the class tell me, "I have no idea how I passed that class." The most messed up part about it is that it's not even a nursing class. But I'm glad I'm taking this in the summer because I don't think I could stand 10 weeks of this class.

I've neglected my blog over the summer for a number for reasons. I have summer school, been busy hanging out and catching up with friends and family, other responsibilities, and I just haven't felt like it.
Summer has been going well so far. I just finished one session of summer school and will start another one tomorrow. Class hasn't even started yet, and I already have homework. I hate epidemiology already. Everyone keeps asking me what epidemiology is, and I don't really know how to explain it. According to Wikipedia, "Epidemiology is the study of factors affecting the health and illness of populations, and serves as the foundation and logic of interventions made in the interest of public health and preventative medicine. It is considered a cornerstone methodology of public health research, and is highly regarded in evidence-based medicine for identifying risk factors for disease and determining optimal treatment approaches to clinical practice." So there. I have five wonderful weeks of learning about that.
There is approximately two more months of summer vacation left. I must make the most out of it.