What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

this one is really stupid! -->


A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them.

Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty.

Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity..



You might like this game, but maybe it's not your
thing. Take a look anyway if you are
curious:

www.life-blood.vze.com


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

well i appearantly was not a good enough girlfriend for her son!

I AM 20% EVIL GENIUS! I thwart evil. I am definitely the “Good guy” type. Evil runs from my aurora of all things good and right. Look out James Bond. Take the EVIL GENIUS test at Fuali.com

Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Beauty, you are beautiful not only outside, but
inside as well. You have a kind heart and are
compassionate. You feel the pain of others and
you are a better person for it. You shine with
purity and wisdom and will expirience the love
you show.


What's your dominant personality trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

blah blah blah. this week was ok. not much to talk about but the beach. we are stupid. megan, bryan, and i sat three to a seat even though there were ten empty seats around us. it was pretty fun though. megan ate all of bryan's food. we played the abc game. i was behind by so much! oh well. but i still got second place. stupid bryan! we got to the beach. megan got thrown in during the first ten minutes. we just sat around and talked. that was kind of fun. then lunch came and everyone went to their potlucks. i was not asked so i just sat there. chris was with everyone so i did not want to go there. it would have been really weird. i guess i do not like being with my friends if he is there. it just gets me depressed. everyone looked like they were having fun so i went to jenelyn. she gave me food! =) but she also gave me this nasty chocolate thing. it was so gross! then i met up with bryan and megan again. we sat three to a seat on the way back home too. we fell asleep. some people played this slapping game. you could hear some veins pop. over all the beach was ok.

yesterday we had a vespers. (jed was really happy.) the speaker was talking about how he met his wife. it was so sweet! but then i just thought about me and chris and i just got depressed. but the message that he told us was really good.

i was listening to my northern mix cd. there are so many songs that i can relate to! there is one song in particular, "you and i both" by jason mraz. i love that song! i really like the part where it says "and it's okay if you have to go away. just remember the telephone works both ways. and if I never ever hear it ring if nothing else I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else and that's okay cause I'll remember everything you sang." i am so sad! then i started thinking about memories of chris and i. i was thinking about last february when he had a surprise party for me. it was so sweet! then i started thinking about all the other memories. and that reminded me of "one year, six months" by yellowcard. "All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you." grr! he seems so unphased. but i guess that i should not be surprised. he is fine. and he will be totally over me by the time summer vacation is over. i hate this...

sTaR sEaRcH wAs So MuCh FuN!

saturday. went to the hospital then to church then to the hospital again then home. kristina was going to pick me up to go to star search since jen could not. i called her cell and krystal answered. she said they could not pick me up because they got into an accident. she was crying. i was like "WTF! what happened?" but my relatives took me to school. i saw vince and then and i told them what happened. rj, sy, and collin were there. cool beans! i talked to them. vince and i have the same camera! woohoo! it was so weird. but i got mine for a cheaper price. during intermission i had to sell for our booth. we made maybe $100. that is not bad. chris put an ice cube down my shirt. i talked to old seniors and ronan. it was so good to see all those people! i missed them. mark and teo were doing this whip cream thing to people but teo was not going to do it to me because he is scared of me. i think that is pretty weird. i talked to danny about kristina. he told me that she was on the fast lane and this car was swerving towards her. so to prevent crashing into him kristina swerved left and hit the center divider. it is ironic because she is always so scared about crashing into them. "the wall is my friend..." kristina got burns on her face and arms because of the airbag dust or something and krystal got burns on her neck from the seat belt. bastard! i talked to more people after star search and said bye to everyone. jenelyn and i went to ralph's to buy my mom mother's day presents. i got her a card, balloon, and flowers. whee! i showed them to her when i got home. i am pretty sure she likes them. haha! peace out yo, homie g.

philx516: walk in confident and you will pass
hOtNsExYpAnDa: that is stupid
philx516: lol
philx516: damn
philx516: my plan is stupid
hOtNsExYpAnDa: hahaha
philx516: are you gonna study for it at all this week
hOtNsExYpAnDa: yeah
hOtNsExYpAnDa: probably
hOtNsExYpAnDa: maybe
hOtNsExYpAnDa: i dont know
hOtNsExYpAnDa: hahah
philx516: pshh nerd
hOtNsExYpAnDa: whatever
hOtNsExYpAnDa: you wont stupid and get a 3
philx516: You will get a ...... 5!!!!
hOtNsExYpAnDa: WHAT!?!?!
hOtNsExYpAnDa: whatever
philx516: I have foresight =-O
hOtNsExYpAnDa: i will be lucky if i even get a 2
hOtNsExYpAnDa: foresight my ass!
philx516: lol I wasn't planning to foresight your ass :-D

when you find someone that you love and that loves you back and then it ends, it is like you are more alone than how you were before you were with them.

BAA MOTTO: do it. do it now!

i miss northern. i am finally blogging considering that we got back two days ago. on sunday i had to go to La central at 6 am. i woke up at 5:33 am but that is ok since i live right next to it. we were all tired. we loaded the van and went on our way. i barely slept on the way up. we got to santa cruz. i hit on bryan. it was so funny! briggitte got thrown in by jason, byron, and eddie. so freaking hot! then we got to our hotel. it said "welcome san gabriel academy" at the front. nice. the five girls were in a suite. we went to safeway and bought groceries. 24/$2.40 ramen! us girls cooked our first dinner together. it was so cute! i dipped my feet in the jacuzzi. it was nice. but then my feet started to get prunny. yuck! good first day.

on monday we went to the jelly bell factory. the tour was kind of boring but it was a joy to see briggitte freaked out by the oompa-loompa's. we went to this spot with a nice view. but i got a little freaked out that i might fall over. there was this log that most of us signed. it had "i ate pussy right here" on it. how pleasant. we ate at emeryville. so expensive! i tried the thai tea and green tea gelato. i liked the green tea one better. we had a few hours to go around downtown sf. the girls went around the shopping center to see what we were going to get on thursday. we wanted to watch "13 going on 30" but it was too expensive. everyeon was playing games at the metreon so briggitte and i looked around the metreon. VAN HELSING! you know! we went to pac bell park. the game was ok. there is not much to say about that. i have a picture of bond's ass.

on tuesday i was high! we had two hours of unlimited play at portal 1 at the metreon. i played hyperbowl, a bunch of racing games, ddr, and the basketball game. so much fun! my hands got really sore the next day! we ate at blondie's. that was probably the best pizza i have ever had! we went to fisherman's warf and ghirardelli square via cable car. i laughed at everything! we went to sharper image. it was so good! we got massages on their chairs. we waited for the cable car. briggitte started speaking her mind about the michelle thing. it was crazy! i felt a little weird so i went into another conversation. we went to union square. we took this picture with this heart and steph looks like she is between a butt and looks very happy. =) we went to the ten story macy’s and to the cheesecake factory at the very top. then we went to get jamba juice. i got the small strawberry tsunami. the lady asked me if i wanted an original one for free. i got it and then she gave me my small one. nice! fun day!

wednesday. we went on the golden gate bridge and took pictures. then we went to telegraph and spent an hour at amoeba music. they have some great stuff! we ate at blondie’s again. we made bears at the basic brown bear factory. ozzie’s looks like him. we got to haight and ashbury. we did not find the store with the sexual stick figures. but we got bracelets for $0.25. then we had a bbq. ozzie made really good burgers! we were watching the laker game. BRYAN IS SUCH A GUY! it was weird. at night we went into the pool and jacuzzi. the security guard came since it was 11 pm and the pool was closed at 9 pm. the guys chilled at our room. we played blackjack. but every time we lost we had to drink a cup of water. there was this 7 up that tasted salty and steph really did not want to drink it so i did. it did not affect me. jason, mike, and eddie were dying! good times.

thursday. it was our last day. we got screwed over at the exploratorium. we went to the palace of fine arts. jessie jumped from this really high spot. on his way down he said “fuck you!” it was so funny! the houses in that area are so nice! we went to the metreon and had time to shop. i got shirts for $5. jon jon actually went into a&f. i got people’s presents. the strawberry creme frap is really good! we went to the hotel and had another bbq. yum! we watched the second to the last “friends.” i cried. it was crazy! then we watched “will & grace.” we went into the jacuzzi. i hit on bryan again. i tried to make a move on him. so funny! we talked about relationships and people’s problems. fun stuff. we have nicknames for the two different groups of guys there. the Ns are the nice guys: phil, bryan, jon, and jessie. the Bs are the bitches: jason, mike, eddie, and byron, but not so much. we were going to get pedicures there but it was either $20 or $25. guys up at northern are so horny!

aww friday. =/ we loaded the van. i slept most of the way. but after we ate i was alert. i miss northern. a lot.

northern quotes:

briggitte: i'm not racist, i just tell the truth!

byron: look, there's a gay guy
jason: look, another one
steph: WHERE, WHERE, WHERE ARE ALL THE GAYS?!

me: aww, you're chandler!
bryan: you know, i took like 5 online quizzes, and they all said chandler.
briggitte: he's funny though.
(bryan gets all sad)
briggitte: funny in a good way.

me: bryan has a "gay thing"!
phil: where?

bryan: have you read megan's away message where jimmy fallon talks about the guy who collected 1,000,000 pennies and was like, "i wonder how much that is...must be like 4 million dollars."
me: that's not bad

me: say yes or no.
phil: yo...nes
steph: no...wait

steph: all the guys are going to get a boner!

ozzie burps
someone: can you burp on command?
me: do it now!
ozzie: oh yeah. right after i burp.

sheila: press it long and hard

sheila: it's so beautiful i want to gag.

steph: (falling to her knees) NOOOOOO!

today i had a piano test. the guy said that my sight reading was the best he heard all day. nice. i told my mom and she said that my teacher told her that i am better at sight reading than brian. finally. something i am better at than brian.

YAY!

our northern problems are solved! we had a meeting at lunch today. (i got thai food for our algebra potluck! woot!) everyone was so nervous. we started talking. we tried to get new ideas and some people said they would try to get people. tomorrow after school is the deadline for people to be our drivers. but the only reason why we could not just take one fifteen seater was because there would be too much luggage. so since it was only the luggage was the only problem briggitte's dad would be able to drive up with us on sunday with all the luggage then come down. and on friday caitlyn's dad could take our luggage down. we were all so excited! we are so close! we are pretty sure that it is going to be that way. i am happy! the chorale people are gone today. they are on their way to hawaii. they are probably there already. chris i gone. =/ i did not even get to say good-bye. well i did on the phone but what kind of a good-bye is that!?!? oh well. i hope that everyone has fun! i know that i will up at northern! woohoo! party 24/7! but this saturday i am going to bryan's party dinner thing. no one is ever going to agree on a movie. 13 going on 30! i know the guys do not want to watch that. oh well. i guess we will see. NORTHERN HERE WE COME!

my "japanese" name is:

Jennifer Mariano,

from this day forward your
Ninja Burger ninja name will be

Rinsaku Chiaki -san

Use this name in all
future dealings with
Ninja Burger customers.

aslkdjfklsadjfs;dfklsafjasf;lasdjf;ksadjf

northern in two weeks! i need to make a northern mix for the ride up and the ride down. well that would only be one mix but i would listen to it on the ride up and the ride down. yeah. anyway. i just realized that there is no one to miss me anymore. wow. that sounds so conceited. but i mean there is no one that will say "aww! i missed you so much!" or "man! why do you have to go? i am going to miss you like crazy!" that just made me a little sad. just something else to get over.

i was watching EVERWOOD last night and it made me really sad. ephrim and i are like this! we are going though the same crap! but i have been through what he is going through right now. but i felt his pain! and watching it brought back all this other crap for me too.

well we did our debate today. we have to finish tomorrow. we are getting KILLED! oh well. at least we know that we tried and that we did our best. that is really all that matters. i like my team. we are a cool bunch!

life has been ok. chris and i are ok. we are not best friends but we are friends. so that is good. not being best friends like planned is just another thing to get over. ok. i am going to get going now. payce yo! =)

why didn't you fight for me?

"..now i think that moral fiber is about finding that one thing that you really care about.. that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. and when you find her.. you fight for her. you risk it all. you put her in frnot of everything.. your future, your life.. all of it..and maybe the stuff you do to hlep her isn't so clean.. but you know what? but it doesnt matter.. cus in your heart you know.. that the juice is worth the squeeze. thats what moral fiber is all about." - sean's profile

i do not know why i feel this way but i do. i feel bad but it is just how i feel. =/

well so much for being best friends.

i miss...

i miss playing cards in the hallway. i miss walking to school. i miss the convenience of things. i miss going to the cafe after school. i miss walking to school with kristina. i miss white memorial school. i miss everyone living in the high rise. i miss going to people's houses in the high rise. i miss summer day camp. i miss staff training. i miss raging waters. i miss swim day. i miss the funny feeling you get inside when you like someone. i miss holding hands. i miss kisses on the cheek. i miss kisses on the hand. i miss kisses in general. i miss rings. i miss hugs. i miss bear hugs. i miss having someone come up behind you and squeeze you. i miss being with someone. i miss the first time you hold someone's hand. i miss just sitting there with your significant other and not saying a word. i miss knowing that just sitting there spending time together without saying a word brings us closer together. i miss having a best friend. i miss being able to talk to someone about anything. i miss playing with hair. i miss someone playing with my hair. i miss being held. i miss i miss my friends. i miss too many damn things!

this song is dedicated to all of my friends whom i love so very much I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

When every moment gets too hard
The end of the road can feel so far
No matter how much time we'll part
I'm always near you
I'll be the shelter in your rain
Help you find your smile again
I'll make you laugh if you have a broken heart
Wherever you are

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

So many people come and go
Nothing can change the you I know
You'll never be just a face in the crowd
And time will show
Through the seasons and the years
I will always hold you dear
Never you fear

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

I'll be around when every candle burns down low
And I want you to know...

Cuz I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day
All along when you feel the pain
I'll be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend

I Will Be Your Friend by Coco Lee

'til i get over you by michelle branch

everytime i feel alone
i can blame it on you
and i do, oh
you got me like a loaded gun
golden sun and sky so blue
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

sometimes i watch the world go by
i wonder what it's like
to wake up every single day
smile on your face
you never tried

we both know we can't change it
but we both know we'll just have to face it

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

if only i could give you up
but would i want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
we both know that we want it
but we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que to ton va
you just bring me down
je pretend que tu fais bien
so i'm counting my tears 'til i get over you

we both know that i'm not over you
i'm not over you

*(chaque fois que to ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien)
everytime you walk away, i pretend that i'm okay

quote: why does it hurt so much? will it always hurt this much?

alright. i am being vulnerable. i am putting all of my emotions at the moment on the table. whenever i do this my mind always seems to go blank. after chris and i broke up of course i cried my eyes out. then after a while i stopped crying but everything just seemed so screwed up. chris and i did not even have a relationship anymore. we would not talk at all and when we did for some reason we would end up fighting. that is my fault. i was so anxious for spring break to come because maybe i could clear my head and start getting over him. but for some reason that is not the case. we talk online a little but i do not know. spring break has been crap for me. i cannot even spend time with my friends because my dad is in the philippines and no one can drive me anywhere. the last time i saw anyone from school was on saturday and that was jenelyn. i have only talked to about five people online this whole week and that sucks. i really just want high school to be over with. it seems like the pain just keeps coming back and it never goes away! i just want to feel better! and last night did not help at all. i was going to go to sleep but i ended up thinking of how much i missed him and all the things we have been through. then i started to think about how i handled this whole break up and how i drove him away. now he probably does not want to be my friend anymore. and even if we did get anther chance to be together i doubt that he would want to. i know that he deserves to be happy and i want him to be happy. but it hurts to see him so happy and realize that i am not the one that makes him happy anymore and never will be. i kind of envy him because it seems like he can just brush it off his shoulders and be happy. i wish that i could be happy. i do not know how he does it. how can he get over someone he has been with for about two years and be happy? i wish i knew his secret because i could use some of the joy right about now. i thought that my tears would be all gone by now. but they just keep coming! i just miss him. i miss how we used to talk on the phone for hours and never get tired of each other. we would talk about everything. have you ever been with someone that was also your best friend? (jed gets it.) and when you guys break up it is the hardest thing in the world to let go of. i am still trying to let go. it is just so damn hard! i am sorry if people are fed up with me and this whole thing. but if you are then just tell me and I WILL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU! aiya! i need emotional support! hmm... i used to get that from him. now everything has changed. i cannot even talk to him anymore. about anything! but i should not expect anything from him since we are not together or really friends. which sucks. last night i had horrible dreams. it was like my nightmares were coming true. i was sitting in a room with *****. (i do not want to mention her name.) and i asked her who she was going to go with to junior senior. i suggested that she go with chris because i think that something will happen between them. then she calls him and they start talking and i guess sparks fly and yeah. that is a nightmare for me, that chris will move on faster than i will and with another person. then i had all these other dreams about me and chris and i could not sleep. i kept tossing and turning. i was half awake and half dreaming. it was horrible! my heart felt to heavy because it hurt so much. it was a horrible night! i wish i could be happy. i wish i could talk to him. i wish i could be his friend again. i wish lots of things. i hate how things are. i hate how i drove him away. i hate that i lost my best friend. my spring break sucks. everyone got to do something. i have been so lonely! just sitting here alone with my thoughts. do you know how that can drive a person nuts?!?! well i really do not know what else to write. it is time for me to stop being vulnerable. peace.

quote: "the worse thing is that i lost my best friend."

look! i am blogging! this is new. i know i do not usually blog and i have to tell people when i do. but then i only told bryan and chris so it is so stupid! wow! the last time i blogged was on december 29. that is so crazy! my entry was very gag me. but that is ok. well since then chris and i broke up because his mom wanted us apart since we are too young and i am not korean. great. i am trying to get over it but it is really hard. i mean it already hurts that i lost my boyfriend and that we will never be together but what hurts even more is that i also lost my best friend. we used to talk all the time on the phone. we would talk about stupid stuff and sometimes even gossip. he was my best friend. and now everything has changed. we still talk but not talk talk. we say hi and mess around with each other but we do not talk like we used to. i know that it is not his fault and i am not blaming him or anyone. i just miss those times. i wish we could talk more and stay connected. i want the connection that we had. but i know that we will never have it back. for my extra credit english poem i am going to write about this. i am going to title it “forever” because i lost my best friend forever. i miss my best friend.

quote: here you go...

I LOVE YOU BABE! I MISS YOU SOO MUCH! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! BUT THAT IS SO LONG FROM NOW! OK. BYE!